Pagans and Angels
by sakurademonalchemist
Summary: Sequel to Tricksters and Gods. Loki (currently hiding under his human name Harry Potter) has escaped his part of the universe and has found refuge in a new one. So he tries the world where his favorite book series happens to be set in. The only catch returning home is almost guaranteed to get him killed. Now he has to survive a world where real magic is almost impossible to find.
1. Chapter 1

_**Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Happy New Year! Enjoy this sequel to Tricksters and Gods!**_

* * *

><p>Sam Winchester was looking for a cheap apartment to rent. After his fight with his father and his brother, he wanted nothing to do with hunting for a long, long time. And besides, law had always interested him.<p>

While he was looking through the ads, he almost ran down some poor guy who had a coffee in his hand. Beside him, his companion snorted in amusement.

"_Not easy being short, is it?"_ snickered his friend.

"I am so sorry about that!" said Sam, helping him up.

The man was about five foot six, maybe eight if he were pushing the guess. He had short red hair that just barely reached his neck and dark eyes that seemed to see right through you. He wore clean pressed clothes, mostly a clean white shirt with red trim covered by a black coat. His jeans were fairly new and from what Sam could tell brand name. But it was his aura that really drew you in.

"It's alright. Though if that laughing lunatic doesn't shut up I'm going to kick his ass later," said the man he almost walked over.

He noticed the ads in Sam's hand.

"Looking for an apartment are we?"

Sam looked sheepish.

"Most of them are either already taken, the other person living there is impossible to deal with, or they might come on to me later," he said. He was not rooming with a girl. No way in hell. That path could only lead to disaster.

The guy snorted.

"I might be able to help. I recently found an apartment, but the rent is way too high for me to get it on my own. You would not believe how much they complain when you keep trying to sneak in a dog in the cheaper ones, and after a year of trying to find a cheap pet-friendly place I've about given up."

Sam blinked, before a slow grin found it's way onto his face. He had always wanted a dog, but traveling on the road constantly and the fact there was limited space for him once he had his growth spurt made it impossible.

"Sam Winchester."

"Harry 'Loki' Potter," he said, shaking Sam's outstretched hand. Seeing Sam's look, he smirked. "People call me Loki because I love pranks so much...and they claim I have the silver tongue of the god himself."

"_He's also the best hacker on campus,"_ piped Harry's friend.

"This lunatic is Gabriel. And don't freak out if you can see through him occasionally, he's actually an AI."

Sam blinked.

"AI as in..."

"Artificial Intelligence...though some days I swear he's more intelligent than half the idiots in the Law Club," said Harry annoyed.

"_Also his personal assistant, the reason why he still has electricity, water and internet, and the only one who can tolerate his snark on the really, really bad days when he has to deal with morons,"_ chirped Gabriel.

Sam stared.

"I didn't know AI's actually existed," said Sam impressed.

"You just need to know how to program them right. If you're lucky I might make one for you by Christmas," said Harry, "They can be uploaded in almost any electronic with a wireless signal, and they run off the batteries."

"I have a laptop," offered Sam.

"Which would make the perfect place to store the main programming for the AI. Honestly, sometimes it's harder to _escape_ Gabriel."

The AI actually stuck out his tongue at Harry, making Sam laugh.

"And this...is the apartment. We can have up to a medium-sized dog, if I pay him a hundred extra," said Harry...before he added "Or I can pay him two hundred for a large breed. Personally I would rather wait before I started giving him that kind of cash."

Sam agreed completely.

"This is ten times better than anything I've seen in a week. What did you say the rent was again?"

"Between the two of us two hundred fifty. Not including the extra amount for the dog. The utilities are mostly covered, but I'll pay for the internet," said Harry immediately.

Sam grinned.

"Count me in."

"I was hoping you'd say that. Hope you don't mind, but I put the lease in my name," said Harry.

Sam shook his head. He could care less about the lease. He was just glad to be moving out of those noisy student dorms for those who were lucky enough to get a scholarship. Studying was nearly impossible with all the partying. And best of all, Harry was studying Law the same as he was.

It took him two hours the next day once the security deposit was paid, and he was finally able to sleep somewhere _quiet. _He hadn't known what a luxury silence could be when he had opted to stay in the student dorms the first week. Five minutes of hearing drunken idiots partying and he was almost ready to rent a crappy motel room!

He did, however quickly realize that his hunting habits weren't entirely gone when Gabriel walked in, translucent. He started to reach for a salt-shell gun when he remembered A) Gabriel wasn't some ghost, and B) he didn't have any guns on him. All he had were his knives, which were the only weapons he had left.

Harry had taken one look at his collection and actually snorted.

"You call _those_ knives?" he said. Then to the eternal shock of Sam, he went into his room and brought out several knives and daggers of varying sizes.

"You're not going to quote _Crocodile Dundee_ are you?" asked Sam suspiciously.

"Who?"

"We are so having a movie night if you've never heard of Crocodile Dundee," deadpanned Sam, before he asked "And where on earth did you find so many blades?"

"I collect them and statistically there are more uses for a knife than there is a gun. Besides, this isn't actually a knife, but a short sword," said Harry, lifting the longest one up.

Sam looked over his collection. Most of them had seen some use, and it looked like Harry at least practiced with his weapons instead of hanging them up like most people. He had the tell-tale signs of slight nicks on his hand from where the blade slipped, or he tested the sharpness.

"I'd be careful with that one. All of them are sharpened regularly," cautioned Harry. Sam had picked up one of the smaller daggers.

"So you're a blade fighter?" asked Sam.

"I prefer them to guns. So much more reliable, unless you buy something made of the cheaper metal, or worse, precious metals. Those have the worst habit of breaking unless it's made by someone who knows what they're doing," said Harry.

Hearing that, Sam immediately went to get the three silver weapons he had on hand. Just because he gave up hunting for a while, didn't mean he was going to put down all the lessons.

Harry inspected them critically under the light.

"They've seen some use, and they were sharpened by someone semi-competent. However you'd be better off getting new ones soon. These things are almost ready to break."

Sam snorted.

"Like I could afford that. I can barely pay the rent," said Sam.

Harry gave Sam a calculating look.

"How good are you with the longer blades?"

"Awkward, at best. Why?"

"Hang on..." said Harry, before he returned five minutes later. In his hands was a short sword made of what was clearly silver.

"You really do like collecting blades," said Sam amused.

"Like I said, I prefer knives and daggers to guns. Less noise and easier to conceal. Did you know there's actually a decent amount of space on the roof? I could show you how to fight properly with a sword," offered Harry.

Sam almost suspected Harry to be a hunter like him. Except none of the hunters he knew would have something as advanced as Gabriel bothering them during a hunt, especially since he could easily be confused for a ghost.

"The only issue being that we might have to deal with horny idiots," said Sam.

"A few firecrackers should be enough to dissuade them of using it," deadpanned Harry. Sam snorted in amusement. That sounded cruel, but hilarious.

* * *

><p>Sam had never been more thankful to have Harry as a roommate than when finals came around. Not only did he have a good idea what most of the questions were asking, he was able to come up with logical arguments for the mock cases!<p>

He never would have known how effective history could be when using it against someone else.

Most people in the law club had to fight to be on their tag-team, because Harry was not only ruthless when he was the 'prosecutor', but every time they took on a mock case, they always won! And when they were the 'defense' (which was rare) their client always got either a lesser sentence or off completely of whatever charges they were on.

Unless of course the person acting as their 'client' annoyed Harry too much. Then they were lucky to avoid 'prison'.

Sam was just glad Harry didn't mind having him act as his 'assistant', since he preferred to keep Gabriel under wraps. Well, that and he didn't want it well known that Gabriel wasn't even a real person. The less people knew about the fact Harry had working holographic technology, the happier they were...besides, the sheer prank value alone when he walked through things barely big enough for his 'avatar' to go through and scare people was worth keeping his silence on the matter.

"I swear Harry, sometimes I think you're already a lawyer with how good you are at this."

Harry smirked.

"You're not the first to say something like that. Which reminds me, remember how I said I would make a personal AI just for you?"

Sam perked up. Gabriel was beyond useful and he also made one of the best conversation partners he ever had.

Harry had in his hands a USB.

"Consider this my Christmas present to you," said Harry. Sam had actually forgotten Christmas was right around the corner.

Once Sam hooked it up to his computer and waited five minutes for the file to download, he looked at Harry oddly.

"Where'd you get the idea for this one?"

"I have this series I follow obsessively called _Supernatural_, and one of the main characters was called Sam. So I figured the Dean character would match you perfectly."

"Ironic my AI has the same name as my brother," said Sam. He was trying very hard not to be freaked out that Harry had somehow known what Dean looked like, or close enough that it was easy to tell who the AI was based off of. He even got the eye color right!

"You have a brother?"

"Dean's older than me, but he's not as interested in learning," said Sam.

"Sounds like my family. Out of all of them I'm the only one who would ever bother going to college. My older brother is an idiot," said Harry in fond annoyance.

Sam blinked.

"What's your older brother like?"

"Tall, blond with blue eyes, arrogant and a complete idiot who thinks smashing things is a wonderful way to use diplomacy," deadpanned Harry.

While he did miss Thor, the fact of the matter was he was much happier being far, far away from Asgard and the worry Odin would have a total bitch fit over the fact he had three of the needed artifacts to complete the set. No way was he dealing with that.

"Smashing things?" said Sam in disbelief.

"My brother sometimes works as a blacksmith, and thanks to the size of the hammer he uses he has absurd strength. Most of the time he works as a professional soldier and as a result his decorum is lacking. Though it's still better than the idiots he calls his friends."

There was no love lost between him and the Warriors Three. He hated them and they barely tolerated his existence. The only reason they put up with each other outside the battlefield was to keep Thor happy.

Sam snorted.

"I doubt my brother would even know what the word 'decorum' means. Not to mention he's a damn man-whore," said Sam.

"Care to get drunk while we debate our older brothers to see who's is worse?"

"Count me in," said Sam.

He was soundly beaten by Harry, though it would take weeks before he got over the weirdness factor with his AI that looked (and much to his horror acted) almost _exactly_ like his brother Dean. It even countered the same way Dean did when he was annoyed with Sam.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam and Harry were looking through the dog kennels at the local shelter (seeing as neither had the patience for a puppy) in order to get the dog Harry had mentioned.

Neither could agree on what breed to get, let alone which gender. After all, either way it was going to be fixed because Harry had no desire to deal with a horny animal ruining the furniture. Besides, it was one of the requirements on the lease for pets. The manager didn't want to deal with a litter of puppies or kittens.

Finally Sam found one they could both agree with. It almost looked like his dog Bones, when he escaped his dad and older brother for a full two months.

"Find one Sam?" asked Harry.

The golden retriever wagged it's massive tail and pawed at the cage.

Harry bent down to look at the dog at eye level. It whined and looked like it wanted to lick them both.

"What's the story on this one?"

"Owner gave it up because it got too big for the house. If it's not adopted soon it's scheduled to be euthanized," said the volunteer. Which was a shame because the dog was a real sweetheart and very well trained. It was one of the few that didn't pull on the leash.

"Is it housebroken?"

The volunteer nodded.

"He's one of the better ones actually."

Seeing the puppy dog look in Sam's eyes, Harry sighed.

"You're helping me pay for the food bill for him," he deadpanned.

"Deal," said Sam grinning.

"I'll go sign the papers and you go get the leash for him. What are we going call him?"

"How about Thor?" asked Sam.

Harry leveled a look at him as he said "Hell and no. Anything named after that blowhard is liable to be loud and annoying."

Sam looked at their new dog, before he shrugged.

"Fenrir then?"

"That sounds much better, though I think Bones would be preferable. I refuse to own a dog named Thor," said Harry, before an amusing idea occurred to him, "Unless it's a small dog like a Pomeranian or Dachshund."

Sam snorted in amusement.

He didn't know what Harry had against Thor or the rest of the Norse pantheon (barring Frigga for some strange reason), but he had the feeling he wasn't likely going to get the story any time soon.

With their new dog in tow, Bones walked calmly beside Sam, who couldn't help the grin on his face.

Today was definitely a good day...especially since Harry didn't care if he let the dog sleep on the bed with him.

* * *

><p>"So let me get this straight. Brady wants to introduce you to one of his single female friends <em>why<em>?" asked Harry.

He didn't like Brady. Something about the man grated on his senses.

"He said he was tired of Jessica complaining about how all the good men were either taken, not interested or gay," said Sam.

"Ten bucks says she's allergic to dogs or backs out the second she learns you collect useable blades," said Harry.

"No bet. I've seen your luck and only an idiot bets against you. You'll jinx me before I even get to meet her," said Sam, before he added in a dry voice "Besides, for some odd reason everyone seems to believe we're a couple."

"Sam, as amusing as the concept is you're simply not my type," deadpanned Harry. Sam laughed outright. He didn't have a problem with the fact Harry was bi, mostly because he didn't exactly date much.

Come to think of it, Sam had never seen him go out on a date with _anyone_ outside the few times they hit the clubs...

_At the bar..._

"Sam, meet Jess. Jess, this is Sam," said Brady almost proudly.

Jessica spent two seconds in his presence before she started sneezing. She quickly reached for her allergy medication while Sam inwardly cursed Harry. He should have known the bastard would jinx him just for a quick laugh.

"Sorry about that. I don't know why my allergy to that oil was set off," she apologized.

"Oil?" asked Sam, a sinking feeling in his gut.

"Certain oils make me sneeze. My dad was so disappointed when he found out I couldn't join him in the family business," said Jessica.

Brady coughed.

"Her dad's an antique dealer. Apparently his shop uses a lot of special oils to keep the metal in good condition."

"Oh. I thought you were allergic to dogs," said Sam.

Jessica glared at Brady.

"You neglected to mention he has a _dog_," she said annoyed.

"Technically it belongs to his roommate Harry," said Brady. That was what the name on the papers said anyway.

"Actually Bones is more my dog than his. I spend more time with him than Harry does. Harry just put his name on the papers because he could afford the fee and he knows I hate charity," said Sam mildly.

Bones was a good dog, and while he listened to Harry, in his mind his 'Alpha' was Sam. Harry was perfectly content with that arrangement. Sure he paid the dog attention, but Sam was more invested in the dog.

It was also one of the bigger reasons why people seemed to think Sam and Harry were a couple, to his slight amusement. It was more annoying than not though.

"I can't stand dogs. They drool, they destroy everything..." she said.

And with that any chance of Sam and Jessica getting together went away. Sam was a major dog lover, and if she couldn't handle that then there was no way he was dating her.

When he got back, he was quick to greet Bones.

"How did the meet and greet go?"

"You half-called it. She's allergic to the oil you use to keep the blades in good condition, and she hates dogs," said Sam slightly disappointed.

"Well at least you found out before you started dating," said Harry sympathetically, "How about we go see a movie next week?"

Sam perked up. That would definitely improve his mood.

"I heard the new Marvel movie was coming out."

Harry felt his stomach drop. He had seen the previews for that movie and had a bad, bad feeling about it. Nothing good could come of a movie named after his brother.

And he was right. Ten minutes into the movie and he was ready to leave. If he had known that _his_ universe was considered fiction on this end he would have gone to another Earth to hide. On the plus side, the only version of Loki he would have to deal with here was an arch angel in hiding. That out to be entertaining to see the look on the angel's face when he ran into his alternate.

Plus no one knew about the Gems he was carrying existed. Another reason why he had picked this place.

"So who was your favorite?" asked Harry, who had barely cared for the movie.

"Normally I would say Thor, but the character seemed like a total ass. And I kinda felt sorry for Loki," admitted Sam.

Harry nearly stopped cold when he heard that.

"Why?"

"Odin chose the _worst_ possible time to tell him he was adopted, and it was pretty clear that he was overshadowed by Thor almost constantly. Plus the Warriors three seemed like a bunch of muscle-heads who barely tolerated the lone brains of the group," said Sam.

Actually it was less because he felt bad for Loki and more along the lines of the fact that the characters painfully reminded him of how Harry talked about his family. While Sam was on good terms with Dean and at least speaking to his father (though that didn't mean he cared for the man), Harry barely tolerated his brothers, his mother was overworked with three kids and his dad had the worst sense of timing. Not to mention his older brother's choice in friends made it hard for him to like talking about home.

He was very vocal about his feelings towards the lone female of the group, who he called a condescending she-witch. And that was him being polite.

Harry stared at Sam.

"Loki was the only one I liked in the movie, though the possible girlfriend of Thor reminded me of a friend I have. Last time I saw her she had gotten into some deep trouble because she touched something she shouldn't have. I was barely able to save her in time," said Harry. Then he quirked a grin, "Of course that was after I had pranked the hell out of her with this computer virus that brought up the most depraved things you can imagine in a window it took her five tries to get out of."

Sam snickered.

"Okay, this I have to hear," he said.

"It's like this, I was helping her with her research and in a fit of boredom I trapped her computer. One minute she was doing scientific work, the next she springs a trap I set and the most horrifying and disgusting porn video you could find on the internet came onto her screen. She was mortified...for about ten seconds before she started throwing things at me. It was so hilarious I made it a reoccurring prank. Though now she can escape the traps within five seconds. Her research assistant and colleague usually just let the videos play out on mute before they bother to close it out. And then some idiot stole her laptop, and ended up trapping his entire system with it. His boss was pissed as hell!"

Sam was holding his sides as Harry told him the story. That did sound absolutely hilarious.

"Of course then I had to deal with the idiot's boss, who was pretty damn mad that the virus infected _his_ server through the files that were still trapped and he had to pay me big bucks just for the trap to go away. I just left it dormant though, cause the man irritated me to no end."

"Oh god, my sides! Remind me never to royally piss you off!" laughed Sam. Harry grinned at him.

* * *

><p>"Come on Sam, I know you can do better!"<p>

Sam ducked and parried against Harry's sword. Ever since they had shown off their respective knife collections, Harry had been showing Sam how to _properly _fight with them so he didn't always drop his weapon.

He had to admit, it was a good workout and Harry kept it interesting. Sometimes he would throw in a study session, so Sam had to fight while he tried to get the questions right. It certainly made learning more fun and easier.

Bones lay down on the edge while the two mock battled with practice weapons. He was used to the racket.

Sam snorted as he took his attacks up a notch. Harry grinned.

"Much better. You've improved since we started this," said Harry.

Sam grinned at him.

"Trust me, you're a better teacher than my dad was," said Sam.

"It's nice to have someone who's willing to listen to me and actually _pay attention_," said Harry. Sam ducked without having to be told.

Their grins widened.

"You know the offer still stands. I could teach you how to shoot a gun," said Sam.

"I said I didn't like them, I never said I didn't know _how_ to shoot. Besides, I have things that are more effective than bullets," grinned Harry.

Sam chuckled.

"This coming from someone who has to have his AI help him on those online first person shooter MMO's?"

"I'm a hacker, not a gamer. At least, not those kinds. Gabriel's the one who enjoys those...you should hear some of the words he can get the other players to let loose. You've never heard such language."

Gabriel had to pipe up then.

"_This coming from someone who keeps correcting their grammar while they're cussing me out. If you think I piss them off, you should hear some of the things they call _him_ when he turns into a total grammar Nazi,"_ snickered Gabriel.

Sam snorted in amusement as he forced Harry to dodge one of his attacks.

"You are kind of bad at that," he said.

"I can tolerate them butchering the English language when it comes to spelling. But some of those idiots make me cringe when I hear them try to trash talk Gabriel," said Harry flatly.

"How bad are we talking about?"

"You would have to hear it for yourself. It's so bad it's literally cringe-worthy," deadpanned Harry.

Sam winced as Harry gave him a good sized bruise on his shoulder. Fortunately he wasn't in a habit of wearing shirts that revealed his shoulders, but he knew it was going to hurt later. Well, for about an hour or so. Harry took pity on him and introduced him to some weird herbal concoction he called bruise balm.

He had found out pretty fast that Harry's herbal medicines worked faster and more effectively than anything he got from the pharmacy.

"I think we're done for today. You've definitely come a long way from where you were," said Harry.

"You think so? I still can't beat you," said Sam.

Harry looked at him openly amused.

"Let me put it this way... now I have to _work_ to disarm you. Before it took me thirty seconds to break your hold on the sword. Now you've learned to hold your blade correctly so it doesn't fall on the first hit," he told him. Sam winced at the reminder.

One of the bigger problems he had with as hunter was that he was always being disarmed.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry was half asleep when he heard the sound of someone inside the apartment. Because he was a light sleeper, he crept out of his room and grabbed one of the practice swords he used with Sam.

Bones was sleeping in Sam's room, as usual. Harry crept up behind the intruder...and promptly slammed the sword on his head.

The guy went down with a loud thump.

By the time Sam woke up enough to come see what the noise was about, he found a familiar face tied to a chair. But it was what was around him that had Sam staring.

"You've been reading those obscure books again haven't you."

"Actually I contacted an expert. I'm not an idiot."

There was a circle around the chair in salt.

"Ow... what the hell hit me?"

"That would be my roommate. I would feel sorry for you...but to be honest he could have done worse than give you a bruise on the head," said Sam grinning. Bones barked.

"How could a bruise be preferable?"

"Let me put it this way, he owns more blades than Bobby and they're all so sharp that we're able to cut through a phone book in one slice," said Sam.

Dean stared at Sam. Then he gave Harry an odd look.

"You own blades?"

"I'm better with a dagger than a gun. So who is he and why does he look very much like that AI avatar I made for you last Christmas?" asked Harry.

"This would be my brother Dean, and believe me, I wanted to know how you managed to make something that looked almost identical to him too," said Sam.

"Dean the man-whore? And here I thought you were joking when you said he was a bit dense..." said Harry.

"HEY!"

"You're the idiot who broke into our apartment at... bloody hell, three in the morning? What is wrong with you?" said Harry looking at the clock.

"I'm not the one who beaned someone over the head!" said Dean annoyed.

"Which one did you use?"

"On the counter," said Harry.

Sam winced when he saw it.

"You hit him with the weight training sword? How does he not have a concussion?"

"I know how to adjust my strength. Hang on," said Harry, taking out a dagger from his back pocket. Dean flinched, but when he felt the ropes cut he relaxed.

"If you can step over the salt line, then maybe I won't slap you for waking me up. If not...well my contact did give me a exorcism for things that are likely to annoy me," said Harry.

Dean easily crossed the line. And Sam slapped him for Harry.

"Ow! Dude, what the hell?"

"I know Harry. When he says he won't slap you, usually it means he wants me to do it. Besides, you deserve it for waking us up."

Dean looked between Sam and Harry.

"Are you two..."

"Do you want me to hit you with the sword again?" asked Harry, eyes narrowing.

"You two are pretty close for guys who aren't..."

"Let me put it this way Dean, even if I were Harry's type, he would rather have me as a friend. I'm one of the few people on campus he can stand to be around for more than a few hours at a time. Well... Me and Gabriel anyway."

"Who's Gabriel?"

"_HI!"_

Dean actually jumped. Turning around, he saw a translucent man with tawny-gold hair and playful silver eyes. He was also an inch shorter than Dean.

Dean twitched and reached for his gun...which Harry had promptly confiscated shortly after knocking him out.

Sam snickered at his brother's expense.

"He's not a ghost."

"Like hell he ain't!"

"Isn't. Ain't is not a word," said Harry automatically.

"Not the time to be a Grammar Nazi Harry," said Sam, though he was definitely amused.

Dean only relaxed when Gabriel cheerfully 'walked' over the salt without a single problem...right up until he went to Harry who held open a single hand and a ball dropped. Then his face appeared on an open laptop screen.

"What...the...hell."

"Gabriel. My personal assistant and a genuine example of Artificial Intelligence. When he isn't being a total wanker that is," said Harry, mock glaring.

"_Like you're one to talk! You're the one who _insisted_ we leave home in a hurry!"_ Gabriel countered.

"And you know why we had to leave!"

Dean snorted.

"You sound like Sammy and me," he said.

"Yes, but unlike you, the two of us can have a reasonably intelligent argument," said Harry snarkily.

"_This coming from someone as dishonest and devious as a 1,000 year old crossroad demon from the pit,"_ Gabriel shot back.

Sam broke out in a snort.

"Okay, that's it. You are officially banned from cartoons," said Sam.

Dean gave his brother an odd look.

"He just paraphrased a line from a cartoon called the _Fairly Oddparents_. Specifically the one with the genie who got out-jerked by a fairy lawyer," said Sam by way of explanation.

"_Come on Samsquatch, you have to admit it fits!"_

"I never said you were wrong, just that you might want to ease up on the online cartoons," said Sam.

Harry snorted in agreement.

"So why are you here Dean?"

"Dad went missing on a hunt, and what little I heard from him before he vanished had me worried. Well that and Sam was closer than Bobby was," said Dean.

Harry sighed.

"Can you finish this...hunt...within the next three days or so?"

"Probably. From what I can tell it's a ghost of some sort."

"Good. Sam has an interview in three days to see if he can get a full ride...or barring that to see if it's possible for him to complete his degree online."

Harry had gotten his initial law degree online the first time, but had chosen to receive it with those who spent the time in actual class in between helping Jane Foster.

Not many people back home knew that the great and powerful Loki took online classes out of sheer boredom. It wasn't like he had anything better to do with his gold. Not to mention he had to fill the time in between cases _somehow, _and he actually enjoyed learning for learning's sake.

"You can get a law degree online?" said Sam. This was news to him.

"They make more money off of students actually _in_ class, which is why they don't advertise it widely. Believe me, I checked. The only annoyance is that you would need to have the degree delivered and find employment within six months of getting it. Most people seem to look down on those who get a law degree online," said Harry dryly.

Sam snorted.

"Somehow I get the feeling I'd be better off partnering with you than actually going into a law office."

Harry gave a shark-like grin. It sent shivers down Dean's spine, and scared the hell out of him.

"I find freelance is so much more enjoyable. Now are you two leaving in the morning or in the next few hours?" asked Harry.

Dean looked ready to go right then, but Sam's yawn said otherwise.

"Sleep then breakfast first," he said firmly.

"I guess a few hours of sleep couldn't hurt," said Dean reluctantly.

"Actually it's because Harry's the best damn cook I've ever met. If I have to go on a hunt with only a few hours sleep, then I want to leave after getting something for lunch later," corrected Sam. Harry smirked.

Harry was the official cook of the duo, and in return Sam did the dishes. Laundry was left to whichever one of them had the free time to sit in the laundromat. Again, that was usually Sam. Though the taller of the duo had the sneaking suspicion Harry tricked him into doing it, because he hated chores.

After the first bite of Harry's home cooking, Dean immediately conceded Sam's point. A few hours wait was _definitely_ worth getting some of Harry's cooking for the road. Especially when he found out that it also included a freshly baked apple pie in the process.

He almost didn't put up much protest when Sam insisted they take Bones with them because of it. Almost.

* * *

><p>Harry sighed, and let part of the form he had now drop. Where the British man once was, there was now only Loki.<p>

He hadn't been expecting to run into Sam Winchester, one of the two main characters from one of his favorite series _that_ easily. Let alone clicking with him so fast. There was simply something about Sam that had drawn him in, and it wasn't the height, the puppy dog eyes, or the fact he could actually keep up with him. It wasn't even because Sam had faced his human disguise in full-on bitch/snark mode, something that made even Thor back off until his mercurial mood settled down, and had let him get it out without a word of complaint.

Sam didn't ask for anything of Harry, only calm companionship and help occasionally with the homework. He accepted Harry's presence and was a solid person to talk to when Harry was in a foul mood...and that was before he returned to hunting full time.

Loki was not looking forward to being attacked by a demon just because it would provoke Sam into going back on the road with his brother. Without the death of Jess, it was likely he never would have until he got his degree.

And because he knew it was coming, Loki got to work preparing for the attack.

He only briefly looked at the odd bracelet containing three distinct round gems around his right wrist. Call him paranoid, but he didn't feel secure without knowing the Infinity Gems he was now stuck with were on his person. As long as no one recognized him or worse, recognized what they were, they would remain safe.

At the moment however, he was going to relax in a nice hot soak in the massive bathtub inside his 'box' as Tony had always affectionately called it.

* * *

><p>"Sammy, your roommate is weird. But in a good way," said Dean.<p>

"You think he's weird now, you should hear his opinion of superheroes," chuckled Sam.

They were finishing up the food Harry had packed for them, and Dean kept making orgasmic sounds every time he took a bite of the apple pie.

Dean blinked.

"Super heroes? What, you mean like Thor?"

Sam had to swallow quickly before he choked from his snort of laughter.

"Don't get me started. He _hates_ Thor for some reason. He barely tolerates the _Iron Man_ movies."

"Seriously?"

"I once asked him which was better, super hero or super villain. Want to hear his answer?"

Dean waited.

"He said they're both idiots. Any one who acquires 'super powers' and goes onto a crime fighting spree or a crime spree inevitably has to deal with another super within the first year of public notice. Eventually it all comes down to the fact that at some point you have to deal with a super powered idiot having a monologue about whichever side of the good/evil spectrum they fall on just trying to beat you. And then you have to deal with the government, the not-so-subtle resentment of law enforcement..." said Sam.

Dean choked.

"He sounds like he's speaking from experience."

"That's not the best part. I then asked him which he would rather be, and you know how he answered me?"

"Villain," said Dean.

"Nope. He said and I quote 'Only an idiot would get sucked into that endless hell. Better to be a lawyer...then you get to screw over both sides equally and make their lives as miserable as they make the insurance company's premiums skyrocket.'"

Dean swallowed his soda wrong as he started laughing. Sam helpfully pounded on his brother's back until his airway cleared.

"Dude... it's almost like he's more evil than anything we've ever hunted before," said Dean in awe. That was the most cruel and hilarious thing he had ever heard in a long time.

Sam chuckled in agreement, before adding "If we're ever stupid enough to make a crossroads deal, then I'm handing the contract straight to him. If anyone could get us out of it with our soul intact, I guarantee you it would be him. Or at the very least he would have the demons crying for mother as he bogged them down in legal loopholes."

Dean cackled in agreement. Harry _did_ seem the type to enjoy that...


	4. Chapter 4

**Yes people, that was a foreshadowing to the fact I am so going to unleash Loki on Crowley! XD**

**As for pairings, I am NOT going to put Sam and Loki/Harry together. I'm actually considering Joanna (Jo) instead.**

* * *

><p>Harry spat out a small amount of blood. Barely more than a few drops of it really.<p>

At least now he had solved the mystery of how the yellow-eyed demon got into the apartment.

He sent a demon-possessed Brady in to do the deed. The same Brady who tried to introduce Sam to Jessica, had his association with Harry not changed things enough that they didn't get together.

Unknown to the demon, Harry had Gabriel transmit everything from the second he entered the apartment and started the torture session. For the moment the cops were getting a run-around trying to find who the one being attacked was, even though Brady's name had come up pretty quick the second it started transmitting on their computers. _All_ of their computers.

The moment he got tired of playing with the demon, he was going to cut the bonds and slam the chair on the bastard. He didn't like torture...at least not when he was the victim.

Finally he had enough...and besides the cops were trying alternate methods to locate the apartment. It had taken a few minutes in to realize that he was somehow broadcasting live, and that it wasn't a prank.

Harry summoned a dagger and cut the bonds. Then he took a firm grip on the back of the chair...and slammed it hard against Brady's thick skull.

The feed cut off the second he hit the pest, so the cops wouldn't know he was interrogating the demon who wouldn't be able to escape the devil's trap he had painted on the ceiling the moment Sam left. He was well aware of how Jessica had died the first time, and had little desire to share her fate.

Not that the flames would have bothered him. He _was_ Loki, for Valhalla's sake. Plus if he had been worried he would have used the flame freezing charm or if all else failed, the Infinity Gems.

Gabriel would keep the cops chasing their tails up until he was done. Then he would tie the demon up, restart the feed, and then watch the show.

It was a good thing that out of the two of them, the only one who actually _liked_ Brady as a friend was Sam. Of course one of the first things he would get out of this nuisance was if the man was still alive.

Loki gleefully tied the demon up and made sure the idiot was given veritaserum before he woke up.

"Now I'm going to show you _my_ definition of playing," he smirked. The demon shivered.

It was like he had been locked in a long, _personal_ torture session with Alistair himself.

"Let's get started shall we?" said Loki cheerily.

* * *

><p>Sam heard the phone go off shortly after rescuing Dean from the police station. Thanks to long exposure to Harry, he was able to get his brother out with minimal fuss.<p>

Dean however, was giving his brother odd looks.

"Okay, when did you develop that much snark?" he asked.

"I live with Harry. You tend to develop it after the first three months, if he doesn't drive you off first. Speak of the devil," said Sam, looking at his phone.

Within the first three seconds, Sam's expression went from amused, to shocked, to outright horrified.

Dean waited patiently, before Sam put it on speaker.

"_So far I've gotten very little out of Brady. I told you there was something off about him,"_ said Harry.

"Are you sure he was possessed?"

"_Sam, he came into the apartment, knocked me out and then tied me to the chair while proceeding to torture me, all with black eyes. Bastard should be glad I only brained him with the chair he had me tied to rather than grab one of my swords...not that it mattered. Apparently Brady had been dead for two months from a knife wound to the chest. Cops were baffled as to how he died in the cell when I didn't go anywhere near him with a blade," _replied Harry. Sam could practically hear the vindictive amusement in his voice as he added _"Should have seen the expression on his face when he realized I salted the cell and used the exorcism on him. He was literally trapped with no escape before I threw that salt-crusted iron dagger at the smoke."_

"You alright?"

"_I'm pissed off, but I'm fine. Fortunately the idiot didn't expect me to have a devil's trap painted on the ceiling hidden under a tarp that matched the paint. After I broke out and beaned him with the chair, I had plenty of time to get some information out of him. Sam, I think you should know that the demon wasn't after me. He was trying to send a message to _you_."_

"What?!" said Dean.

"_According to the demon inside Brady, his job was to kill me and then pin my corpse on the ceiling before setting the place on fire. They want you to go back hunting with your brother for some big plan of a demon called Azazel. According to the demon he's the one who killed your mother,"_ said Harry.

Over twenty years of searching for the yellow-eyed demon, and they finally had his name. All because a demon pissed off the wrong lawyer. Dean almost laughed himself sick, and it wasn't even funny.

"I'll head back as soon as I can," said Sam.

"_Finish your hunt. We'll figure out how to handle this when you return,"_ said Harry firmly.

He hung up, leaving too shocked brothers in his wake.

"We finish this tonight," said Dean firmly. Sam nodded in agreement.

* * *

><p><em>Elsewhere five states over...<em>

John Winchester was about to hunt down another lead to the yellow eyed demon when he got another call from Dean. He only half-listened to the message when he heard something that had him playing it again.

He had to have misheard that.

"_Dad...we found the demon's name. Sam's roommate managed to get it out of one of his lackeys."_

John Winchester nearly called Dean for more information. How in the hell did Sam's roommate at Stanford find out the demon's name when he hadn't in twenty years of looking for the bastard?!

Looked like he would have to pay attention to his son's calls after all.

* * *

><p>Dean stared at the vial of what looked like water, complete with an eye dropper.<p>

"What is _that_?"

"Veritaserum. An extremely valuable, hard to brew truth serum. Three drops and you're forced to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing _but_ the truth. It literally removes your ability to lie until it wears off. Of course the fact I apparently had the same smirk as someone called Alistair didn't help matters," said Harry flatly.

"I don't believe it," said Dean.

Harry smirked, and thanks to a little slight of hand he put three drops in Dean's beer. Five minutes later Harry and Sam were having a bit of fun at Dean's expense getting him to spill all his dirty little secrets he would never dare admit under normal circumstances.

Needless to say Dean was convinced and Sam was trying not to laugh.

"So did he mention who Alistair is?" asked Sam, once his giggle fit was over.

"From what I've read, Alistair is the name of the top torture specialist in hell," said Harry dryly.

"Why does this not surprise me?" asked Sam equally dry.

"More like why doesn't it worry you that your best friend can scare even demons?"

"You've never seen him turn his snark on idiots before. There's a reason why his most popular nickname is _Viper_. When Harry gets pissed, he gets _creative_ with his barbs," said Sam flatly.

"I've turned the most arrogant blowhard into a quivering waste of space within five minutes or less," said Harry proudly.

"So what now?"

"I can help Sam continue his education online. After what happened I doubt anyone will ask why I chose to do the same, and to be honest the only interesting person around here was Sam anyway. No one else has been able to keep up with me in the Law Club," said Harry.

Sam looked very much like he wanted to laugh.

"That's because none of them have the presence of mind to bring more than law books to keep your boredom to a minimum! Or know to talk to your AI like it's human!"

Sam had learned very quickly a bored Harry was a very dangerous Harry. He tended to play mean pranks if bored. So he started bringing his obscure hunting books with him during the mock trials to keep Harry entertained.

Worked better than giving him anything electronic.

Dean stared at the collection of weapons in Harry's possession.

Harry would be heading to Bobby's for more advice on hunting...and to offer his services as a freelance lawyer who wouldn't charge hunters to keep them out of jail if they got caught.

"Dude...why do you have such a huge arsenal?" Dean finally asked once they were well clear of Stanford and in some crappy motel.

"Boredom, mostly. I like to collect obscure weapons, particularly blades. Never know when you can catch someone off guard with something as under appreciated as a mace," said Harry immediately.

"Under appreciated...right," said Dean, looking at the variety with wide eyes.

"I also know how to enchant guns so they do extra damage to anything not human," added Harry.

"Sold," said Dean.

As far as they were concerned, Harry was a Wiccan. Or what hunters called borderline 'witches' who were smart enough not to accept any of hell's power to use magic. That didn't mean they were powerless, but it meant they were more likely to use runes and potions than hex bags.

Hunters tolerated them because they generally kept to themselves and were less likely to attack normal humans. Well that and they had to get supplies from somewhere, and most occult shops sold authentic holy water, among other things.

"So has your father called you back?"

"Not yet. Bet he had to listen to that message twice when I said we had a solid lead on who the demon was though," snorted Dean.

The Winchesters liked Harry because he was blunt and they all had 'daddy' issues. Dean and Sam because they were forced to become hunters at a young age, and Harry because as he had flatly told them, his father had the bad habit of seeing his older brother and ignoring him because he preferred to use his head rather than smash anything that got in his way.

Frankly if Dean really was as bad as the books Harry still had in his massive library said he was, he was going to break some of that 'father worship' crap and fast. Starting with his music collection.

So while Sam looked for a new hunt, Harry went to work either engraving runes with some crystal he happened to have on hand, or tinkering with something so complicated Dean couldn't make heads or tails of the thing.

"Got something. Looks like a wendigo," said Sam.

Actually his AI had been set to look for hunts online instead of him spending countless hours looking for something in the papers. He hadn't even known Harry had added that particular search function until Harry set 'Dean' to look for suspicious reports in the digital files of police stations nationwide.

Sure it was illegal as hell, but it would be pretty hard to prove it was Sam who hacked their files considering the fact that artificial intelligence was still considered science fiction at this point.

He was still in shock that 'Dean' and 'Gabriel' hacked the CIA and Homeland Security without setting off the FBI's internal alarms.

On the plus side, if they ever managed to get on the FBI's radar 'Dean' could erase all the files to the point where the feds couldn't actually find them. He couldn't do squat about the physical ones, but he could play merry hell with the lab equipment that was connected to the internet.

Pretty hard to compare DNA when there was an AI who was all too happy to 'change' the signature of it just so it didn't match.

A fact that would come in very handy after a bad encounter with a shifter who used Dean's face to kill with.

"Done. Your weapons can now hit ghosts even without salt rounds, do limited damage to the mid-level demons and cause a great deal of pain to the standard black eyed ones. And...I have an upgraded 'watch' for you Dean."

Sam perked up.

"Okay, how bored were you while you were waiting for us to come back if you made another 'watch'?" asked Sam.

"After the cops arrested 'Brady', I had a full day. So, extremely. All I have to do is use your computer to start it up, and Dean will have his own little friend to chat with and allow you two to keep in touch with me even when separated," said Harry.

"Wait...you mean you made another one of those mock-ghost things?" asked Dean.

"AI. And yes. Like I said, I was bored and I tend to keep the parts to make these things on hand so I can modify the current ones more easily. Sam knows how to use the basics, but I've left a few surprises in there for him to find."

Sam slid his computer over to Harry, who opened up a hidden slot in the 'watch', which was more like a miniature computer that looked like a digital watch, revealing a USB outlet.

Once he connected it to Sam's computer, it took five minutes for it to start up.

A black ball unfurled on the screen, revealing a man about the same size as 'Dean' with midnight black wings, black hair and intense blue eyes.

"Dean, meet Castiel."

Castiel was almost identical to James Novak, who would later become the angel's vessel. Not that Dean was aware of that fact just yet. The only difference was that Castiel had visible wings and intense blue eyes, whereas James Novak had brown eyes.

It would be funny to see how the brothers reacted to his book collection, and the fact he knew about them before he had ever met them.


	5. Chapter 5

Robert Singer, or Bobby as those who knew of him called the man, looked somewhat impressed at Harry Potter.

The man was reasonably skilled at fighting and research, had easily befriended two men who he saw more as his sons than as fellow hunters, and he was more annoyed than anything about the demon attack.

Though he did have to snort when he heard how Harry described himself.

Five minutes in his presence and Bobby was all too willing to agree that Harry the lawyer was definitely more dangerous than your run-of-the-mill demon. Especially since he was restraining his snark.

Still, he got Harry started on hunting. Especially since it was clear that unlike most greenhorns, the man made sure to actually _do_ his research into what he was hunting before he went after it.

Well that and he directed Harry to the location of the Roadhouse, where he could offer his services in keeping hunters out of jail and learn more about the supernatural at the same time.

Not many decent lawyers would be willing to stand up for a hunter in an actual trial, and somehow Bobby got the feeling he should feel more sorry for anyone on the other end of Harry Potter.

* * *

><p>Sam was sweating big time. They had gone after a shifter, only for Dean to be caught at the <em>worst<em> possible time by the cops. While they were having a hell of a time proving Dean was the culprit of the serial murders, the fact was that he was in the room when they burst in.

Never before was he this glad that he had partnered with Harry after finding out they had similar interests in the law field, or teaming up with him during the mock trials the law club held as practice for when they graduated. The two of them were unbeatable.

Besides, Sam learned you had to pick up a few things while partnered with Harry, if only so he didn't turn that acid wit on you when he was annoyed.

So he kept the cops chasing their tails with legal red tape while he waited impatiently for Harry to arrive.

Needless to say he was beyond relieved when the green-eyed man showed up with his usual calm swagger and piercing gaze. He was very much like a snake about to strike.

An hour after his arrival, Dean walked out of the station a free man.

Since they couldn't tie him to the first three murders, and he had only just arrived at the tail end of the fourth, it was hard to claim he was the culprit.

"Remind me never to piss you off," said Dean shuddering. The silky tone Harry used on the cops gave him very real chills. Sam was more or less immune to it by this point.

Harry snorted.

"The only way you'd piss me off _that_ bad Winchester would be if you descended into the same level of stupidity as my older brother. And considering his idea of problem solving involves smashing whatever is causing trouble with his hammer..." said Harry with a drawl.

Seeing Dean's confused face, Sam quickly explained "Harry's older brother is a hired soldier that uses a blacksmith's hammer to fight, instead of guns or knives."

"You mean like Thor from the movie?"

"Almost _exactly_ like him," said Harry without hesitation. Because his brother _was_ Thor.

Dean winced. Yeah...he wasn't nearly that bad.

"Again, unless you descend into that level of idiocy or do something equally as dumb as what Thor did to piss off Odin in the movie, you are relatively safe because of your relationship to Sam," said Harry.

"I don't know. There have been a few times he's fallen to that level. Like the time with the tranny..." said Sam slyly. Dean's face turned beet red in three seconds flat.

"Sammy, I thought we agreed _never_ to speak of that."

"You agreed. I just nodded because there is no way in hell I'm ever letting _that_ go," countered Sam.

"Like you've never been so drunk you forgot to check under the hood before things got hot and heavy!" said Dean horribly embarrassed.

"Actually I haven't gotten drunk in a while. Most alcohol is too weak for my tastes. The only stupid thing I've done in a while was leave Gabriel's holo-ball at the Stanford Bowling Alley after I was done cheating at the game," said Harry.

Sam choked on his own laughter.

"Oh god, I remember that! The cops thought someone had laced the pipes with some sort of hallucinogenic and you had to get his ball through remote control after he got bored and started using the wide spread holograms to scare the shit out of everyone!" laughed Sam.

He had initially been annoyed with Harry when he found out the real reason why his friend got a perfect score when they went out bowling. Gabriel mimicked a bowling ball so perfectly no one knew except Sam and that was because Harry told him after they left...only to realize two hours later he left Gabriel behind and they came back to find the cops there and mass hysteria.

Harry had Gabriel float out looking like a bird, but the damage was done. Sam couldn't return to the bowling alley without remembering the incident and having trouble keeping his snickering in check.

"Okay, I have to hear about this," said Dean. If only to get _some_ blackmail on Harry.

"Better yet, wait till we get to the hotel and he can show you. Gabriel has 360 recording capabilities. He tapes _everything_...which is also the reason he's not allowed to go into bathrooms without Harry's orders."

Dean's eyes sparkled.

"Please tell me you installed the same thing on Cas," he begged.

"Only in the holoballs, sorry. If you amuse me enough I _might_ give you one so you can use Cas to scare people like Gabriel does. Sam has one, but he said it's too freaky having your double in his computer, let alone walk around," said Harry.

"I still don't understand how you made it so the watches and holoballs don't need recharging," said Sam.

"Again, if you ever find Loki I'll explain it to you. Chances are you'll be hitting yourself for not figuring it out yourself when I do," said Harry without hesitation.

He acted and behaved like Loki from the movies. Personally he was surprised Sam hadn't figured out the connection yet.

"I still don't get what your fascination with him is. He's just a Trickster isn't he?" said Sam.

"He's a Trickster who likes targeting hypocrites and morons as much as I do. Call it professional interest," said Harry.

* * *

><p>Harry looked at Gordon with distaste. The only reason he was even there was because the vampire 'covens' heard he was more of a neutral than a full time hunter.<p>

So he offered them a bargain. He would get the worst lawyer he could and even hand the prosecutor all the evidence he would need to send Gordon to the deepest, darkest cell they could find and throw away the key. In exchange they paid him a sizable bribe to insure the obsessed hunter went and stayed in jail for the rest of his life.

Considering they had heard rumors about how Harry had never lost a case, they jumped on the chance. Even if they had to pay him a very, very large bribe to get rid of the pest.

So here he was in the court, for once as an audience member while the idiot who barely passed law school tried to keep Gordon on the streets.

He only passed by a fluke. This was the first real case he'd had in nearly two years.

Whereas the prosecutor had all the damning evidence the covens had collected on Gordon since his sister was taken by a vampire. Photographic evidence, video surveillance, you name it. If he was caught on camera or film while killing a vampire, they had it.

And thanks to the fact he was more obsessive than John Winchester when it came to the subject of the yellow-eyed demon, all Harry had to do to insure Gordon ended up in jail was make Gordon think there was a vampire in the back of the courtroom should it even remotely look like he would go free.

He might do it anyway for a quick laugh.

Still, watching the idiot try to get Gordon a lesser sentence or freedom was almost physically painful to watch. The man _barely_ knew what he was doing, and from the look on the hunter's face he knew it.

It was just lucky that the federal prosecutor in charge of getting Gordon out of the way didn't mind the extra 'help' Harry had given him with all the extra evidence. The fact the man wisely didn't ask where he got it, and had verified it was real with outside sources didn't hurt either.

Harry finally had enough and brought up an obscure (but still recognizable) book on hunting that had Gordon's eyes narrow in recognition.

Oh, there was the eye twitch now. Harry smirked, and subtly made sure Gordon knew _exactly_ who was behind his soon-to-be-permanent stay in the worst prison the federal government had to offer.

As Gordon finally lost it (courtesy of an illusion because Harry quickly grew bored watching him just twitch) and attacked a fake vampire, Harry made sure to flip the bastard off as he cackled outside the courtroom.

Really, it was Gordon's bad luck he pissed off the _one_ hunter who could contact the vampires and arrange a deal that insured he went to jail...and was subsequently killed off by some random creature or another within the first month.

He shouldn't have tried to use Harry as bait.

* * *

><p>Harry took one look inside the Roadhouse, and then tried to make a quick exit. Sadly Joanna saw him before he could take the coward's way out.<p>

He had thought the hunt with America's first serial killer was when Jo managed to get onto a hunt. Turns out it was a yearly argument.

He just had the monumentally bad luck of showing up right in the middle of the cat fight.

Fortunately he knew just how to diffuse this situation.

"If she's that desperate to go on a bloody hunt, then I can take her on a small one. A standard salt and burn," he offered.

Ellen glared at him.

"If anything happens to her, you can use me as target practice."

"Just a salt and burn, right?" she said dangerously.

Harry nodded. Jo beamed at him.

"Fine. But if she gets into trouble you damn well better get her out of it!"

Jo nearly shot him anyway after he had Gabriel prank her. The look on her face when she realized it wasn't a ghost, but a hologram.

To be fair, the look on her face was totally worth having to dodge a buckshot of salt to the ass.

* * *

><p><em>In Asgard<em>

Heimdall took a brief moment away from guarding the bridge. Thor had been very shifty since the Convergence and Loki's "death" and combined with Odin's demands he locate where the Aether was (the Collector learned the one given to him was a fake the second he tried to use it), he decided to simply ask the only one who witnessed Loki's "death" first hand.

Thor downed another flagon.

Ever since the Convergence, he started to notice things. Things that bothered him greatly.

The first thing he noticed was the reaction of his 'friends', fellow warriors he had trusted with his life many times.

Sif had been strangely pleased with the news. Fandral could have cared less and Volstagg...well the man had almost ordered a feast to celebrate the fact Loki was gone. He probably _would_ have had it not been for the fact Thor would have been furious about the reason for the feast.

He had known his friends and Loki had never properly gotten along. He knew that they did somewhat resent the fact they had to trust Loki, despite the fact he was more mage than warrior.

He had no idea the resentment ran that deeply.

The second thing was that he was slowly beginning to realize there was a reason why Harry felt so disgusted with Asgard.

Originally he thought it was because of the fact most people ignored him in favor of Thor's accomplishments. He had noticed that habit a long time ago, and had done what he could to insure Loki didn't completely isolate himself. It had worked for a time, but eventually Loki had withdrawn into himself.

About the only thing he did accomplish was that Loki still cared for him. Even if that had nearly turned into a deep resentment.

However during his visits to Midgard...Earth... and speaking to Tony, who was the only one still in something close to contact with Gabriel and Harry, he realized something Harry had said shortly after trying to make something new.

There was a rot in Asgard. One that had settled in for centuries but no one seemed to notice. No one noticed it, no one cared...and the only reason Harry picked up on it was because he had changed his perspective.

Thor was slowly beginning to realize there was a very good reason why his brother now preferred life on Midgard, rather than his life in Asgard. No matter how 'advanced' Asgard was compared to the other Nine Realms.

Midgard was constantly changing, always expanding it's own knowledge.

Asgard had stopped any real change centuries ago. A fact that Thor realized had nearly killed them after the attack by Malekith's forces. If not for the fact Loki always took a full potions kit with him, their mother could have _died_.

A potion created less than two centuries ago, a mere pittance for an Asgardian!

Thor drank his mead.

Loki had been right all along, and now Thor was beginning to see the truth behind the golden city himself. Asgard was the most advanced realm, yes, but it wouldn't be for long. At the rate Midgard was advancing soon they would become the inferior realm left in the dust of their 'traditions'.

Heimdall sat close to the pensive Prince.

"What really happened to Loki?" he asked flatly.

Thor looked at the guardian.

"Loki left, rather than be forced to hand over the one being in our universe that truly understood him completely. He would rather banish himself from the Yggdrasil and go into hiding than deliver the Aether to Odin, no matter what father ordered. He was right. And I was almost too blind to see the truth he tried to tell me before he fled," said Thor.

"What truth is that?"

"Asgard claims to be the pinnacle of the Nine Realms. And for the moment, that much is true. However, Loki realized during his life on Midgard that there is a rot in Asgard. We have become complacent in our superiority...and it nearly destroyed us when we were attacked by a force we had dismissed as legends and fairy tales. Soon, Asgard will be the one that is left behind while other realms become superior. And Father is so assured that humans are nothing but children compared to us that when they finally do get over their petty squabbles it will be us that shall be forced to catch up."

Heimdall said nothing, but the fact of the matter was he had known this for some time. He just chose to keep his silence. What could he have done? No one would have believed him, and it took Loki to wake Thor up to the truth.

A good example of that was Thor's love, Jane Foster. Yes, her life span was a mere fraction to his. She might live on a world where petty differences could lead to massive loss of life.

Yet at a simple glance, she had been able to understand the Soul Forge without being told how it worked or how to operate it. She knew what it could do and what it was, just from a general description.

Another was Tony Stark. All he had were the old readings of the Tesseract left behind by his father...and he was able to duplicate it using what many Asgardians would consider primitive technology.

A feat not even Asgard could claim, as they had required the actual Tesseract to rebuild the bridge.

Heimdall ordered a flagon of his own.

Loki was right. There was a rot in Asgard, one that would need a king who understood how to make changes without bringing them to ruin in order to remove it.

Thor was not that king. He wasn't an innovator, or someone who could handle the politics needed. Yes, he would be the best choice to keep things they way they were now, but to bring Asgard out of the complacent stagnation that had settled so deeply in it's core without destroying it...no.

Baldur was too young and too firmly entrenched in the Asgard of now. He would never be willing to try new things or to spur the minds of the people into actually _making_ things that had never been seen before. He was at best, a temporary replacement to keep things running until someone better came along. He liked to play things safe far too much for what was needed.

The Loki of old was too bitter, too resentful towards Asgard and the old regime. To be perfectly fair, he had reasons to be. The only ones that bothered to understand him were Thor and Frigga. He almost destroyed the Jotuns in a desperate attempt for Odin's approval, for Valhalla's sake!

Harry though, Harry might be the king Asgard needed. And the irony was not lost to Heimdall that despite the fact Harry was in fact Loki, he no longer had any interest in the throne.

Harry had grown up into the one Asgard needed, but he had shown himself wiser than any of them could have imagined by removing himself. He knew that the time wasn't right for him to try and take the throne. Odin would never allow it, especially after what happened with Loki being in control. He would be sure that Harry would simply repeat the same mistakes and would subtly thwart any changes.

He was still furious that Harry had bypassed the system and taken full control over the palace defenses when they were attacked...all with 'primitive' technology!

"Tell me Thor, what is the real reason Loki left?"

"Are we being observed or listened to?" asked Thor. He had made a habit of finding discreet places to drink.

"No one is even listening to us."

"What of watchers?"

"None."

"What I am about to tell you must never be told to Odin. He would try to hunt Loki down and there is no way that would end well for either party, particularly considering the reason Loki left."

Heimdall gave Thor his full attention.

"Loki has three Infinity Gems. He has no wish for the others, but he left to insure that the Gauntlet is never completed. If Odin knew he had even _one..._"

Heimdall's eyes widened. He could understand Loki having one or possibly two. But _three_?

No wonder Thor kept his mouth shut. If Odin found out, he would be furious and demand Loki hand over at least two of them to be hidden away somewhere safe...and to come home to face the consequences.

Just the mere thought of that made Heimdall wince. Because after watching Harry for any length of time after being brought back as Loki, he could say with perfect honesty they were safer with him.

As Harry kept saying when asked by anyone who knew he was British born and trained, "Magic is a crutch. I don't intend to fall flat on my arse when it's taken away just because I grew dependent on using it. Power like that should be used only when absolutely necessary, not when it's convenient."

Heimdall could see Loki ignoring the fact he even had the Gems, at least until had no other viable options other than to use them.

Better for someone like Harry to have them and not use them, than to have someone like Thanos collect them and turn them on the universe.


	6. Chapter 6

Gabriel was pouting. There was no other word for it.

"_Come on Boss, can't you remove this stupid thing?"_ he complained.

The _thing_ in question was a golden halo above his head. If one were to observe it for any period of time, they would realize that the halo shimmered in time with Gabriel's appearance.

To those who knew what Gabriel actually 'was', like Sam or Dean, they would correctly assume that the halo was generating his image.

Dean had laughed himself sick when he first saw it, because he had trouble seeing Gabriel as an angel, especially with all the digital pranks he played on the brothers without seeing them.

Gabriel had at least been vindicated when Harry put the same one around Castiel's head. The only difference was the slight bulge under his trench coat, which many people would assume hid wings.

Sam was just glad Harry hadn't done the same to 'Dean'. He still wished Harry would change the name and appearance, but sadly his friend had a strange sense of humor. To make it worse, his AI had been taking scans of his brother and now looked and acted _exactly_ like the real one did.

Dean had been amused beyond belief, and had decided corrupting both of their new 'research monkeys' as he called them was his solemn duty.

He had succeeded with Sam's, to his growing horror, but thankfully for his sanity it was slow going with Cas, despite having _both_ Dean trying to get him to understand pop culture.

Fortunately, AI Dean didn't mind listening to something other than 'mullet rock', as Sam called it. More than once his real brother had cursed Sam out for getting his AI to start playing music from the boy band era just to annoy him.

"No. You and I both know who Gabriel went into hiding as, and when they finally run into him I fully plan to turn you into Pinkie Pie so we can record his 'WTF' face upon seeing a large pink pony that causes Sam to pass out from laughing too hard."

"_...You're actually letting me use the Pinkie Pie program I bugged you into making? Including the visual data?"_ said Gabriel almost hopeful.

"And miss outpranking the local Trickster god? Give me one good reason to pass up such a perfect opportunity to confuse everyone but Sam. Especially when he knows you'll be recording the entire thing."

Gabriel actually had tears in his eyes (figuratively speaking) as he said _"Boss, there are days when you make me proud to be your AI. This is totally one of them!"_

"I aim to please. Now about our ongoing online prank war with the brothers..."

"_Dean and Castiel are in. Sam is logging on in a few minutes, and his brother will be getting pizza. When do we start the Destiel program to scar them for life?"_

"Right after they start eating. Make sure Sam is the one who opens the program," said Harry evilly.

Gabriel cackled with glee. The halo was definitely looking very ironic now, especially with the evil laughter he was giving off.

Ten minutes after they ordered pizza, Sam noticed the e-mail with attachment. Because Harry mislabeled what the program was, he unknowingly set it off right as Dean was drinking his beer.

Needless to say the sight of the two other AI going at it would haunt Dean for years...the message of "Harry-13, Winchesters-0" however would spark him to try and prank Harry mercilessly the next time they ran into each other.

* * *

><p>Odin was suspicious. Loki was still alive, he realized that much now, but the way he vanished and the fact he never tried to contact Asgard was suspicious enough.<p>

However it was the fact that not only was the Aether missing (he could forgive Loki for taking that away with him) but a closer inspection revealed that the Tesseract, which should have been in the vaults, was also gone.

All that was left was a cube that held the bare minimum of power.

Odin fully believed Loki had somehow switched the Tesseract with a fake.

And that was not acceptable. If he knew where Loki ran off to, he would drag his errant son back and insure that the Gauntlet was never completed.

Frigga watched Odin's mind start to slip. He honestly did not understand _her _son at all. Or else he would have realized there was a reason why Thor was spending so much time on Earth, and it wasn't entirely because he wanted to be with Jane.

Or why there was a long string of missing technology even after Loki had vanished.

Leave it to her son to find a way to continue borrowing things without asking by using his brother.

* * *

><p>"<em>Got another shipment from Thor, Boss,"<em> said Gabriel. Harry still had yet to remove that damn halo, but he had long forgotten it existed.

Besides, it projected a false image of 'innocence' to people who didn't know Gabriel at all. He found it hilarious to disillusion them of how 'innocent' he was.

"I never thought I would see the day my idiot older brother became a smuggler. I can't decide if this is hilarious or not," said Loki snickering.

Thor was subtly taking tech from Asgard, and using Tony's connection to Gabriel to let him know when the new shipments were in. Loki would then transfer them through the Space gem to his house, where he would break them down for parts to play with.

It was a miracle Odin hadn't picked up on the fact Thor knew how to contact the missing prince.

If he ever did, Loki was fully prepared to tell him where to shove his staff. Living far, far away from the man's overbearing nature and purview made him realize something.

He didn't give a damn what Odin thought. Odin was so set in his ways that he would rather keep things the same rather than try to encourage change.

He was almost as bad as Dumbledore, except his methods weren't nearly as sloppy and while he abandoned plans that didn't quite work out, he didn't abandon the pawns. He had openly admitted he took Loki from Jotunhiem in an effort to replace Laufey with someone more loyal to Asgard.

Too bad it didn't work out. Not.

The best part was that Odin couldn't interfere with his life ever again. Loki had found his place in the universe, and it was far more satisfying than catering to the whims of complete morons.

He cackled.

Oh yes, he had found his true calling...and the best part was that the idiots were paying him to have fun!

"_Boss, you're doing the '_I love my life and enjoy making others pay me to make their lives miserable_' laugh again,"_ said Gabriel, looking over the new inventory list.

Loki pouted.

"But I like that laugh. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy," he whined.

"_It's hilarious to see people piss and shit themselves when you do it in public, but we're alone so I don't get the fun of watching them freak out at hearing the sound of something so pure evil that it transcends the nature of anything good and holy in the world. Save it for when we find this universe's version of Loki so we can really give him a good scare," _said Gabriel flatly.

Loki scowled. He hated it when his own AI used that sort of talk on him. It meant he had to tone down the things that made his life fun.

"Too bad there aren't any angels...on...earth... Gabriel, when you're done with that I want you to find Anna Milton. I want to watch an angel have a panic attack over hearing the sound of something so evil that it makes Alistair look like a playful kitten in comparison," ordered Loki.

"_Got it boss! Want me to record her trying to run from you?"_

"Absolutely."

You had to feel sorry for the angel who forgot what she was. Anna was going to be in for a very, very rough week because Loki was bored out of his mind.

* * *

><p>Sam was awoken by Gabriel at twelve in the morning.<p>

"Gabe? What's up?"

"_Uh, we might have a teeny, tiny...issue...with Harry."_

Sam sat up and looked at the AI on his computer. The other two were in sleep mode.

"What kind of 'issue'?"

"_The kind where Harry went trolling for something to watch, got into one of more...unpleasant...moods and is drunk enough to seriously consider heading home for a while just to set it all ablaze. I have no idea where he found that damn song parody or why he had been drinking when he watched it, but going home really isn't an option for him right now. I need someone to help smack some damn sense back into him."_

"...Okay, when I get there I am going to have a long overdue chat with Harry about his home life,"said Sam.

He had ignored it for a long time, mostly out of respect for the fact Harry never asked him about his past. There was no way he could stand looking Harry in the eye and telling him he had bounced around from school to school and only _barely_ scraped getting into college at all.

However Harry had hinted at something far worse than traveling all his life. Somehow he had the sneaking suspicion that Harry had been abused and neglected for the better part of his childhood... or at the very least his 'father' outright ignored his existence in favor of his older brother.

"Sammy...what time is it?" yawned Dean.

"About five. Listen, after breakfast can we go find Harry? Gabriel said he's been acting off," asked Sam.

"Sure. I owe the guy a prank...or fifteen," said Dean. He went straight back to sleep after that.

* * *

><p>"YOU DID WHAT?!"<p>

"_Face it Boss, they might as well learn now before you accidentally get us BOTH killed because you were drunk. Besides, don't you trust him?"_ said Gabriel sensibly.

Loki (for this was Loki now) ran his hand through his hair.

"What in blazes convinced you to call Sam in?" he demanded.

"_You were drunk and openly trying to convince yourself to return home just to watch it all burn after seeing that parody of the 'Let It Go' song from _Frozen,_" _deadpanned Gabriel.

Loki blinked. Gabriel helpfully replayed the video he had taken of Loki while drunk.

"Crap. Okay, maybe I _do_ need to vent..." he admitted.

This is _exactly_ why he had outfitted the holoball with recording devices. It was perfect for blackmail material and it helped convince the owner of the AI that yes, they did do something incredibly stupid while drunk.

"_There's also the fact that if they know the full story, you can help them prank the hell out of the resident Loki later. Not to mention the fact that if things don't work out you can just erase their memory until they're more open minded about the whole thing,"_ Gabriel continued.

"True. I had almost forgotten about that spell," admitted Loki.

* * *

><p>It was the down-season between hunts, so now was actually the perfect time to tell Sam the truth.<p>

A few days later they found Harry where he was waiting.

"Yo. Gabriel said you were having family problems?" said Dean, cutting to the chase.

"From what I saw on that video, it was more homesickness, unresolved issues and the desperate need to vent," said Harry mildly.

"You never did explain why you had to leave home," said Sam.

"Well I might tell you now if you're interested in free alcohol and the knowledge I won't hold _your_ past against you," said Harry.

"You had me at free alcohol," said Dean.

"I'll warn you now, some of it's off limits. Tony found out the hard way last time he tried to raid my liquor cabinet that I do keep track of what people take out," said Harry.

Mostly because the last time a human tried them, they had to be sent to the hospital for alcohol poisoning. He learned the hard way that some humans couldn't handle what Tony called 'demi-god' level of alcohol.

The first thing he did was leave out the movie _Thor_. Something Sam considered a bit odd, considering he knew Harry wasn't that fond of the character.

"I suppose the easiest way to explain is to revisit a comment you made shortly after we saw this movie. Remember how you said you felt more sympathy for Loki than you did Thor?" he asked Sam.

"Yeah. You actually looked surprised when I said that, but you never explained why you didn't like the movie that much."

"It wasn't the movie I disliked, but rather the reminders," said Harry.

Seeing the look on their faces, Harry sighed.

"Let me put it this way... I know you both thought it was strange I made an AI of your brother before I had even met him, right?"

Sam and Dean both nodded. Harry handed Sam a book.

"_Supernatural?"_

"That is the first in a long line of books I have in my library. The series ended when the 'Sam' character dragged Lucifer into hell along with his half-brother Adam who was the vessel of Micheal. Frankly I disliked that ending greatly," said Harry.

Sam read a few chapters in...and the more he read the bigger his eyes got.

"You mean this is about _us_?!"

Harry nodded.

"It's written or will be written by the current Prophet. I believe it's also called the 'Winchester Gospels' by heaven at the moment. It's how I knew what your brother was like before meeting him."

"Sam?"

His brother handed over the book. A few pages in and Dean looked just as horrified.

"To be fair, I think the one known as 'God' in this section of the multiverse sent these to me as a subtle nudge to come visit. Either that or he was bored."

"Wait, 'our' section of the multiverse?" said Dean. Either he was drunker than he thought or he had heard that wrong.

Harry smirked...before he wasn't "Harry" anymore.

"Let's just say the Odin of the 'Marvel-verse' has a preferred punishment for when his sons get up to too much trouble and he decided to remind me of my place. Unfortunately for him, it worked a little _too_ well."

Sam blinked.

"I knew there had to be a reason why you reminded me of Loki from the movie," he said flatly.

"So...you're Loki from the movie?"

"More specifically an alternate of it. I had enough of Asgard and I couldn't stand the thought of losing Gabriel just because I did something he didn't like, so I left," clarified Loki. Then he grinned "Besides, the AI I gave you two are actually based on the same code as JARVIS. Tony Stark is a good friend of mine."

"Sweet."

"Does this mean we have a demi-god on our side?" asked Sam.

"It means that in the event you have to make a demon contract, you can call me to help you get out of it without losing what you got in exchange. Back home I was something far worse than a supervillian."

Gabriel immediately spoke up_._

"_You're not going to do the laugh now are you?"_

"What laugh?" asked Dean.

"_The _'I love my life and the fact people pay me to make them miserable'_ laugh. He used that on the demon inside Brady and the guy actually shit himself because it sounded even more evil than anything in the pit,"_ explained Gabriel.

"Like I said... I'm more evil than any supervillian and I don't have to deal with the superpowered idiots trying to beat me," said Loki smirking.


	7. Chapter 7

With the revelation that the "Marvel" universe was actually real (and that Loki had gotten sick of it enough to come to theirs) very little had actually changed.

Well, outside of Sam asking his best friend a million and one questions about his home universe, to Harry's amusement. He certainly didn't mind, and answered them rather honestly.

Dean, much to Loki's annoyance, actually wanted to meet Thor. If only to go drinking with his brother.

To be honest, they had taken the news that Sam's best friend was actually a demi-god rather well. Considering the way they were raised, they could have tried to hunt him.

Though they all agreed this was one thing John Winchester _did not need_ _to know_. His paranoia would demand that he kill Loki, whether he had done anything or not.

Especially considering how close he was to his youngest.

Bobby, on the other hand, looked very much like he wanted to at least shoot Loki. Just once. Fortunately he knew exactly how to placate the man.

He offered him some of his best whiskey and bought some extremely rare books that Bobby would have great difficulty getting his hands on otherwise. That and the promise he wouldn't betray the Winchester boys unless they betrayed him first was enough for Bobby to live with.

At the moment they were in a random bar with a beer in front of each of them.

"So why exactly do you want us to find Loki for you?" asked Dean.

"Isn't it obvious? I want to show him who the top prankster is. Do you really expect me to come to a new universe and _not_ seek out the resident version of myself just to show him who's better at pranks?" asked Harry amused.

Sam looked very much like he wanted to bang his head against something. Of course Harry...no, Loki, would want to find his alternate self just to prove who was better. The pranks he and Dean had gotten into were proof enough that Harry would never stand to be second best when it came to playing with people.

Dean snorted in his beer in amusement.

"So what did you have in mind?"

"You know that inane cartoon Gabriel's obsessed with? The one with the colorful horses? I plan to unleash his favorite character from it...or at the very least let him imitate her."

Sam couldn't help it. He started choking on his fries. The image of Gabriel turning into the bright pink horse who loved to party and was so random had that effect on him. Dean on the other hand, started snickering.

Gabriel had shown them the image data, and he had to admit, the idea of unleashing such a random pink horse on a Trickster god was pretty damn hilarious.

* * *

><p>Thor was <em>bored<em>. Normally this could be solved by doing a little robbery (he finally saw why his brother never bothered to ask...it was more fun sneaking around than he had thought) but unfortunately Odin was starting to catch on to why things were still going missing despite the fact the resident 'thief' had left.

Why he never asked Heimdall who it was, he had no idea.

Fortunately Tony already had another shipment ready to send to his brother. Time to see if Loki wouldn't mind putting up with his 'idiot' brother for a few weeks.

* * *

><p>Harry looked at the small side note along with the usual notifications that Tony had a shipment of things for him to play with. To be fair, Harry usually sent something back that he could sell either under his name or under the company Harry made out of boredom.<p>

"So Thor finally caved into the same curse anyone who actually _uses_ their brain have at some point. I was wondering if it would ever hit him."

He sent the note that yes, he would put up with Thor for a while. He would openly admit he missed the idiot.

Which was why, when the next shipment came in, he easily took the massive bear hug his brother gave him.

"Brother! It is good to see you again!" said Thor with open joy and honesty in his eyes.

"It's good to see you too, idiot. So how badly did Odin take the fact I stole the Infinity Gems from under him?" asked Loki.

Thor winced.

"He was not pleased. He fully believes that you are merely biding your time until you find the other three and will make a play for the Gauntlet. Mother and I know that's a complete lie, but we also realized that the only way Odin would believe the truth would be for you to get the other three along with the Gauntlet and never use them," said Thor.

"In which case it would only prove him right and thus make the whole thing pointless. I hate it when there's a catch like that," said Loki grumpily.

Thor looked around at his brother's "house", or as Tony preferred to call it, Loki's TARDIS. It had changed since the last time he had been here. For one thing, the door actually lead to an RV that you could stand to be inside. Another thing was that it actually _had_ windows for once.

But the biggest change was the artifacts on the desk where Loki kept all of his actual work.

There was a picture of his brother's human form with a man who could be as tall as Heimdall was, if Thor was any guess. The two appeared to be quite close, almost as close as Loki was to Tony or Natasha. There was also a large dog. In the background was the only thing Loki had called his true friend in the many centuries of life he had had. Gabriel was putting a pair of what looked like rabbit ears behind Loki.

Loki didn't have many _human_ friends. He had no Asgardian ones, Thor knew...though he did have an annoying fan girl by the name of Sigyn.

"So who is this?" he asked.

"That's Sam. I have the distinct feeling you'd get along famously with his brother Dean."

Thor's eyes shot up.

"The same Sam and Dean from your books?" he asked.

"This is the world where they were written," said Loki rolling his eyes.

Thor rubbed his hands eagerly. Loki wasn't the only fan of the _Supernatural_ series, and Dean had always been his favorite of the two brothers. Mostly because he had stuck by his brother for a very long time, until he couldn't take anymore...only to return to his brother's side when he realized that leaving him alone was an even worse idea.

Loki rolled his eyes.

"Gabriel, contact Dean or Castiel and tell them I want to hunt with their owners for a while. I want to surprise Dean with a new drinking partner,"said Loki.

"_Okie dokie Loki! Should I warn Sam that your brother came to visit?"_

"Hell no."

Gabriel cackled at the expression the brothers would have once they learned Thor was in their side of the multiverse.

* * *

><p>"No...way..." said Dean. His mouth dropped in open shock while Sam just stared in disbelief.<p>

There, in his full armored glory, was none other than Thor. Dean was having a total fan boy moment right then.

"So you are Dean Winchester. Loki's books were quite entertaining to read," said Thor.

Dean turned to a very amused Loki.

"Dude...Thor read those books?"

Loki nodded, trying very, very hard not to laugh.

"Come! Let's go get drunk!" said Thor.

Dean grinned openly. The two older brothers went in search of the nearest bar, with Thor being under a minor charm to keep anyone from recognizing him from the movies. Meanwhile Sam gave his friend a look.

"Thor apparently succumbed to the same curse anyone who actually uses their brain for more than a few weeks gets. I was feeling homesick, but this works just as well. He'll be staying with me for a month at the least."

Sam sighed.

"Which means Dean will insist on taking him hunting with us, and eventually see a demonstration of Thor manipulating the weather."

Loki snorted in agreement.

"Look on the bright side," said Loki.

"There's a bright side?"

"Thor's as big a fan boy of the character 'Dean Winchester' as your brother is a fan of his," said Loki.

Sam stopped and looked at his friend.

"You're kidding."

"What you fail to realize is that after the death of 'Jess', the girl the demon inside Brady attempted to set you up with, things only got worse rather than better. Thor liked Dean's character for standing by his brother until 'Sam' chose a demon over him, and even then he went back to his brother when he realized that being apart only made things go downhill in a hurry, rather than make things better," said Loki flatly.

Loki found it easier to talk about the _'Supernatural' _books to the Winchesters by acting as though it happened to someone else. To be fair, if things did start to mirror the books, then he would drop his 'hands-off' approach and deal with matters directly. No way was he letting his first actual friend in a very long time fall for Heaven and Hell's tricks.

He would use the Gems before he allowed that to happen.

* * *

><p>"Oh...my aching head..." moaned Dean.<p>

Thor snored like a storm in the bed in the back. Dean was glad Loki had such excellent soundproofing. Five seconds of Thor's snoring outside the room he claimed and his head was ready to murder him.

"Now do you see what a dumb idea it was to go out drinking with Thor? Be glad you were using human alcohol, because I've seen Tony nearly be hospitalized from alcohol poisoning and severe liver failure from trying more than a glass of Asgardian mead," said Loki.

"For the love of god, either kill me or put me out of my misery," moaned Dean.

Sam held in his hand something Loki had called a hangover remedy. It was time to get the chance to listen to something other than classic rock for a few days.

"I have in my hand something to make the pain much more bearable. But if you want it, you have to agree to let _me_ pick the music for two days," said Sam.

"No way! One day," said Dean.

"Deal. Drink this," said Sam.

Dean grimaced at the taste, but a minute later the worst of the hangover was gone.

"That is extremely effective," he said in surprise.

"So...who wants to wake the idiot up with ice water?" asked Loki mischievously.

Sam was the first to say "Won't we get fried for it?"

"I hid the hammer."

"I'll do it!" said Sam, once assured Loki wouldn't let his brother electrocute him.

"Damn."

Sam stayed far back enough that Thor wouldn't be able to hit him, and then threw the water onto the snoring demi-god. He had done this before to Harry a few times when he nearly overslept...which was rare.

Thor bolted out of the bed like he had been shot, and glared at his brother. Judging by the wince Dean wasn't the only one hungover, however Thor's wasn't nearly as bad.

* * *

><p>Sam was not a happy camper. He had witnessed a death via premonition, only to learn it wasn't just a random nightmare.<p>

Fortunately, Harry knew _exactly_ what was going on and why.

"You're seeing through the eyes of another child that Azazel dosed with his blood. He's doing this to test you...and unfortunately you can't ignore it or he'll just keep sending images to you of the one doing the killing until you do something about it."

Dean did _not _look happy about that news.

"Is there any way to stop it?"

"Do you want the friendly answer or the blunt one?"

"Blunt," said Sam.

"You'll have to kill the one with the powers. Either you do it or he keeps on this rampage until he gets dropped into the blood tournament and killed anyway. Or I could do it, since I could end it in a relatively painless manner."

Both brothers winced.

"Is there really no other options?" asked Dean. He didn't want Harry to kill anyone...doing that would open him up to other hunters after his ass.

"Well you could put him into a coma I suppose. I do have a potion that mimics death that will keep him in a coma-like state until the antidote is administered. But that will just incur a large amount of hospital bills and emotional pain and suffering."

"So our only options are an enforced coma or death. Not really pleasant either way," said Sam.

"What about memory loss?"

"An overpowered memory charm? Revert him back to a child-like state?" asked Harry, "Keep in mind that he will die one way or another."

"Giving him amnesia sounds a hell of a lot better than killing him!" said Dean.

"Fine. Get me alone with him for about five or ten minutes and I'll erase his entire memory. He'll recognize people, but he won't remember who he is or what happened in his past," said Harry flatly.

He hated using his magic like that, and to be blunt he rarely used it most days anyway. But if it kept his friends from becoming murderers, then he would erase memories for them. The fact they were as happy about this mess as he was happened to be the only reason he would even consider it.

They drove to the home, gave Harry a few minutes alone with the one who killed the man in Sam's vision, and then gave a plausible excuse for why the guy now had amnesia.

Sure, it wasn't a perfect solution, but it was either that or become murderers themselves.


	8. Chapter 8

Thor left after two months...along with a present for their mother from Loki. Dean was of mixed feelings. On one hand, Thor was one of the few people who understood his burning desire to keep his baby brother safe...on the other hand, the guy was something of a social idiot.

He had trouble with blending in with humans, and when drunk was a pain in the ass to reign in.

On a completely unrelated note, Dean was very, very happy Harry had given them the AI version of himself and one they had taken to just calling Cas.

* * *

><p>Shortly after leaving the Morton house, his AI self got a hit on one of the obscure symbols they found.<p>

"What's a tulpa?" asked Dean.

"_Spirit created from rumors, apparently. The more people talk about it, the more real it becomes. I bet whoever drew this didn't have a clue what they were doing,"_ said his AI counterpart.

"_We have a bigger problem. Apparently a pair of amateur ghost hunters want to break into the hunting business and have picked this house to start it off,"_ said Castiel.

"Oh god... I _hate_ greenhorns!" said Dean with a groan.

"How do we get rid of it?" asked Sam.

"_Searching... According to this you have to either destroy the symbol or the location tied to it. Anything else is a temporary measure,"_ said Dean.

As if summoned by the search, Gabriel showed up.

"_Did I hear you two right? Do we get to have a major toga party while a house burns down?" _he asked eagerly.

Dean blinked, before a slow grin appeared on his face.

"How fast can Harry make it, and can he supply the booze and food?"

"_Wait a few hours. Then we can have a party while the place burns to the ground...he'll even supply the fireworks!" _said Gabriel with no small amount of glee.

* * *

><p>Dean and Sam were actually enjoying themselves once the sky grew dark enough to see the fireworks. This was actually the most fun they'd had during a hunt in a while.<p>

The best part was that they wouldn't have to worry about the cops. A few spells, and anyone without natural magic would ignore the area, including the two idiots who were trying to use the Morton house to break into the hunting business.

Harry not only supplied the booze and food, but some of the fireworks were so odd that the only time Sam thought he would see the like was watching the _Fellowship of the Ring_. There was even a dragon one for crying out loud!

By the time the two amateurs showed up, the trio had long since left...but they weren't going to resist the chance to prank a pair of wannabe hunters, especially since Dean was more than a little buzzed.

Well that and Harry told them that the first time, they had pranked the two anyway. No way was Dean going to miss a chance to outdo Harry.

* * *

><p>Harry walked into the auction house and bought a certain painting. He knew full well the damn thing was haunted, but at least he could deal with it before the others had to come in and kill the ghostly killer brat.<p>

A few hours later and the doll was merrily burning in the pyre he made. The girl was pissed, but he was firmly in a salt circle so she couldn't get to him.

Best twenty thousand he had spent in a while.

"_Ya know Boss, I do believe you're starting to become a pyromaniac. With how much you threw into that bonfire we set at the Morton house, and now this?"_

"Quiet you."

Loki knew damn well he was a bit of a pyromaniac. The first ten years after he learned how to cast fire spells, there was a major rash of fires until Frigga told him to knock it off. It was the reason why Loki was known as a patron god of fire as well as mischief and tricks.

While he had learned to temper that fire, that never meant he had abandoned his pyromaniac tendencies. Being a hunter let him exercise it without getting into too much trouble over it.

* * *

><p>John Winchester's first encounter with Sam's mystery friend Harry finally occurred right after he had a decent lead on a gun that could kill any demon.<p>

It could have gone better.

"Dad! What the hell do you think you're doing?!" said Dean.

John Winchester had the Colt aimed directly at Harry, who looked more irritated than anything.

"What are you?" he demanded.

Harry rolled his eyes. The ex-soldier was probably on edge because of the banishing hex he had shot at the vampire that tried to bite his head off.

Sam and Dean both looked very much like they wanted to get in front of the Colt.

"You sir, are a complete idiot. You three are being played by heaven and hell and you think trying to kill the one _non-human_ actually ON your side is a smart idea? Especially since I'm not a demon or anything you've likely encountered?" said Harry with a drawl.

John didn't lower the gun. He did try, however, to keep it in his hands when Harry used a wandless summoning charm. He looked decided angry and somewhat concerned when it flew to Harry's hand.

Harry handed it to Dean, who glared at his father.

"Dad, are you trying to get us killed or something? Harry's never tried to hurt us and has even patched us up a time or two."

"He's a monster," said John.

"One that even Bobby allows to sleep in his house without trying to kill him? Harry's never killed anyone and he's helped out other hunters before. There are good ones out there," said Dean glaring at his father.

"Then why have I never met one?"

"Because most of them aren't idiots? You're about as well liked among hunters as Gordon was before I made sure he went to prison. Most people don't like it when their partners let them get killed. Or should I tell them about what happened to Ellen's husband?" asked Harry flatly.

"Who's Gordon?" asked Sam.

"He was an obsessed vampire hunter who had the bad habit of using his partners as bait and not backing them up. And if they got bit, he killed them without hesitation. Most hunters with any sense avoided partnering with him. There wasn't any love lost when I helped the DA put him into jail for the rest of his natural life...which was about three months once the vampire covens learned he was vulnerable. They had a familiar end him rather permanently," said Harry.

John looked at his sons.

"And you're telling me he's not evil?"

"Sounds like the guy deserved it," said Dean.

He could easily see how Harry justified helping the vampires murder a fellow hunter. Anyone _that_ obsessed to the point they would use partners as disposable bait needed to either take a vacation or be put down. There was a point where a hunter needed to take a good hard look at their methods or be taken out before they got someone killed.

"There's a point when you need to put someone down. And I know Harry. If he helped put the guy away then his obsession had gone way too far," said Sam flatly. Dean nodded in agreement.

Harry was the epitome of neutral. If he took matters into his own hands, then there was something very wrong with the guy.

"You would really trust a monster?"

"Actually he's more along the lines of a pagan god," offered Sam, before he said "And yes, we trust him."

"Considering he was the one to clue us in to the fact there was a tattoo that prevented demon possession, hell yes we trust him," said Dean flatly.

Bobby had confirmed it prevented possessions...a day before he got one of his own. Apparently the idea of getting a tattoo that had the same symbol as the anti-possession amulet had never occurred to him.

John clearly didn't trust Harry as far as he could throw him. It was only the fact Dean kept the Colt with him rather than hand it over that kept him from trying to strong arm the 'pagan' to leave his family alone.

Harry decided to twist the knife further.

"Look Winchester, unless you want me to tell them about the youngest, keep your mouth shut and leave me be. Otherwise you'll have some uncomfortable questions of your own to answer to Bobby and your sons," said Harry with a growl.

John's eyes widened in alarm. It was clear the boys had no idea what he was referring to, but he understood perfectly well. This...Harry...knew about Adam. How, he had no idea, but he would be damned before he let a monster anywhere near his youngest.

Harry stuck around long enough to save Meg, since it was clear none of the Winchesters knew the girl was actually still very much alive. The more people he saved, the fewer Witnesses could come back to bite them in the ass.

Once John left to deal with the demon inside of Meg, who quickly got a new meat bag, the two brothers confronted Harry.

* * *

><p>"Okay, who the hell is the youngest?" asked Dean.<p>

"Since your dad pissed me off immensely, I suppose there's no harm in sharing this," said Harry, going to his shelf and calling forth the book in question. A few minutes later, Dean and Sam were looking beyond pissed.

"Dad had another kid?!"

"Adam has about as much idea about you two as you did until I let it slip," said Harry flatly.

Unknown to Sam and Dean, Harry immediately cast a Fidelius charm about the knowledge of the third Winchester son. He wasn't going to have Adam's death on his conscience.

He gained an evil smirk.

"You know you could show up on his birthday and scare your father," he said evilly.

Dean and Sam looked at each other, before an unpleasant smirk appeared on their faces. It would serve John right for hiding their little brother from them for so long.

"So how does this end? Do we kill yellow-eyes or what?" asked Dean.

"John is possessed and you waste a bullet getting it out of him. He then either plows a semi into the Impala, or he has a lackey do it," said Harry.

Dean winced.

"Is there anything we can do to get Azazel out of Dad without using a bullet?"

"Actually there is. And it will provide a good deal of entertainment for all three of us," admitted Harry.

He went to his office (which was out of view of the brothers) and brought out what appeared to be an arm band of sorts. But it was the jewels on the arm band that had Sam's attention.

Ever since he found out that his best friend was _the_ Loki from the Marvel universe, he had studied up on it. So he recognized the gems pretty fast.

"Aren't those..."

"Yes, but I don't use them. History is littered with stories of how badly things end to those that use powers they gained from outside forces rather than earned them honestly."

"Okay, I'll give you that one," said Sam.

Harry rarely used his own magic in his day-to-day life, so he could see why he never bothered with the Infinity Gems unless he had to. He could understand his friend's reluctance to use them at all considering how many stories ended badly whenever some big-time super used them to control the world...and that was _before_ the Gauntlet was completed.

"So which one are you going to use?" asked Sam in open curiosity.

"The green one. I wonder how a demon of Azazel's power would react to be forcibly sent to heaven with all those stuck up angels up there waiting to gut any demon stupid enough to slip into it?" asked Harry with an innocent expression on his face.

Dean and Sam both laughed. It wasn't a nice one, and would probably make several people believe they were insane.

Though if their expressions were more than a bit evil and vindictive, it was _nothing_ compared to the look of shock and outright horror on John Winchester when informed that 'Harry' could have destroyed him on a whim if pushed too far.

If he could send the yellow-eyed demon that destroyed their happy, normal life to a place where he would be annihilated with a wave of his hand and the malevolent glow of a green Gem, then what could he do to John?


	9. Chapter 9

Zachariah was beyond pissed.

Someone, and he still had no idea who, had managed to forcibly send the yellow-eyed demon to heaven. The demon had no idea who it was, outside of the fact that it was male with black hair and green eyes. It was also very firmly on the side of the younger Winchesters.

And that simply wouldn't do. Not if they were going to get those two idiots to play their roles later.

Which meant this new player had to be eliminated. Yellow-eyes was expendable...he had children who could take up his role. But the interference of a powerful new player was something that could not continue.

Time to send an expendable angel down below to return the playing field back to normal.

* * *

><p>"I hate you so much right now," said Sam.<p>

"Suuuure...you do," said Harry with a snicker.

Dean was currently spoiling their furry partner rotten. It was thanks to him they found the monster without embarrassing themselves. Bones loved the attention, since usually he had to steal leftovers of Dean's pie habit for the older of the two to notice him.

Dean originally had said no to the dog in the car, but upon seeing how well behaved Bones was and how happy it made his brother, he relented. Every once in a while the dog was very useful, but most of the time he ignored it's existence so long as Sam took care of it.

Harry, however, was taking the time to mock Sam's fear of clowns. Needless to say the man wasn't very happy with it.

Things between Harry and the Winchester brothers had become somewhat relaxed since Azazel was sent to heaven...where he was immediately annihilated in the most painful manner possible via angels.

With the knowledge that the demon who killed their mother was finally dead, the brothers felt it was time to relax a bit.

Because of the way Harry dealt with the demon, they had avoided being rammed into by a semi...and unknown to the brothers, losing their father and the Colt in the process.

Harry had no doubt Azazel's son and daughter would continue where he left off, but for now the brothers _finally_ had some form of vengeance for what happened to their mother. The fact it came about because Sam had befriended what their father called a 'monster' was just irony to them. The fact of the matter was that out of everything they hunted, Harry was by far the nicest non-human they had ever met, and they would be fools to betray him because he wasn't entirely human.

* * *

><p>In another state, a man was taking out the garbage when he felt something approach and a voice ask him a question. Because he was a man who fully believed in heaven and god, he said yes.<p>

Nearby the sound of a car speeding off in the distance was heard by the woman inside. She thought nothing of it...until her husband didn't return to the house after ten minutes. Looking outside, she found the garbage cans on their side on the street, the contents spilling out. Fearing the worst, she looked for her husband in vain...and finally realized that someone may had kidnapped him.

She immediately called the cops.

* * *

><p>Harry was heading to meet the Winchesters. Despite his immaculate car of the Impala, the car had thrown a rod during a hunt and Bobby was currently on vacation. Meaning that Sam had to call Harry for a lift since he was the only one who could make it in time...and because Harry had more than enough tools to help Dean fix his Baby from the comfort of his home.<p>

Shortly after introducing his brother to them, Harry had shown the two his 'house' which Tony had always flippantly called the 'TARDIS' after one too many _Doctor Who _marathons. At one point he had even painted the box Harry used to hold his home to match the ship's exterior.

It had amused him enough that he never bothered to cover it up...besides, he had been meaning to paint the thing anyway.

In any event, Dean would definitely be raiding Harry's supplies for something to fix his car with, once they were on the road.

So it was with a startled oath when he saw a man appear without warning in the road.

A man he knew only by the books he kept securely hidden in his library. He had clearly underestimated how much he had pissed off the heavenly host when he sent yellow-eyes up.

He was going to make sure Jimmy Novak stayed with his family where he belonged...even if that meant he made Castiel a disembodied angel stuck in the digital realm of the internet.

If this was Castiel that is. If not...well heaven would be down an angel.

Harry parked the RV, and went outside. Hidden under his shirt were the Infinity Gems. Instead of a Gauntlet he used an armband...mainly because it was easier to explain than a bulky metal gauntlet. He never understood why it was so essential to use all the Gems through something as distinctive as that.

Outside was the body of Jimmy Novak...though Loki had the distinct feeling this was Castiel, given the eye color was a piercing blue and not brown. He was pleased to note his guess on the color wasn't too far off when he made that AI.

"You are the one who sent the demon into heaven."

The angel's voice was flat and gravelly.

"I am."

"Why?"

"Partially out of amusement, but also because there was no way my friend or his brother would be able to kill Azazel without harming their father in the process. At least, not at the moment."

He could have exorcised the demon, but that would have left Azazel with the chance to take over some other poor bastard. Frankly it was a better idea just to kill him now rather than have the demon come after him later.

It was also a very good test on his ability to handle the Soul Gem, which was arguably the most dangerous of the set. Yes he still heard whispers, but by and large he ignored the damn thing. The only reason he was even wearing the Gems on his person was because he had anticipated some form of retaliation from the angels...specifically Zachariah.

He just hadn't expected them to send what he could only hope was Castiel so early.

The angel tilted his head in confusion.

"You do not belong here."

"Of course not. I came from another side of the multiverse. Now, which angel are you?" asked Loki.

"I am Castiel."

Loki's grin openly frightened the angel.

"Oh good. And here I had worried for a moment I had gotten someone completely intolerable," said the pagan rather pleased.

"Why are you here?"

"I'm fairly certain your Father sent me to fix things, since he could not. That is the only explanation for why I somehow received the complete set of the Winchester Gospels before they were even written," said Loki honestly.

Castiel clearly had no idea what to say to that.

"Now, what am I going to do with you? I cannot in good conscience allow you to parade around wearing that poor man's body, even if he is your true vessel. And I can't have you reporting to Zachariah about my true nature just yet...not before I find my alternate self," said Loki. Castiel looked distinctly panicked. Loki fake sighed.

"I suppose I'll simply have to make you...indisposed...for a little while."

Before the angel could get away, Loki used the soul gem to snag his soul and stuff it in a vial. He would have to wait until he found Dean before he could put Castiel into his AI form...if he could. If not then the AI was about to have his own double running around the internet.

A few minutes later, Jimmy Novak woke up rather abruptly.

"So, any idea where he dragged you from?" asked Harry gently.

Jimmy looked rather panicked.

"Look, just tell me where Castiel picked you up and I'll make sure you get back home where you belong...and next time, when an angel asks you to serve, say no. You have a more important job in keeping your family together," said Harry flatly.

Jimmy felt himself choke...but he took a deep breath anyway. He told Harry where he had come from, and once he took the image from Jimmy's mind he apparated them both straight to the house. He conjured up an illusion of a car and then knocked on the door.

Never before was Harry glad that he had a silver tongue. Or that he had finally gotten over his aversion to physical contact...Amelia Novak nearly choked him from how strong her hug was.

Jimmy was just glad he was able to stay with his family.

* * *

><p>Harry promptly shoved Castiel's true form into an empty arc reactor, since otherwise he would have to stick it into the Soul Gem, which he refused to do. He was already using that thing too much.<p>

Once inside a spare holoball, the angel promptly took the form of the vessel he borrowed until Harry forcibly took him out.

"**What did you do to me?"** Castiel asked, his voice more than a little hysterical.

"Outside of making sure you didn't accidentally ruin that poor man's life? Confirm something I've been wanting to see for a while now. You can interact with the world, but you can't touch it. And since the reactor I stuffed your soul in was made to hold something much stronger than you, it's unlikely your superiors would be able to get you out. You, sir, are now stuck like that until you prove it's worth the hassle to remove you," said Harry flatly.

He locked the door behind him, leaving a very panicked angel in the house.

It took him five minutes to reach Sam and Dean, mostly because he cheated and used the Tesseract to make a space bridge to the road.

Realizing what he had done, Harry knew he was getting too used to the Infinity Gems.

While Dean decided to take a nap, Harry promptly removed the armband and locked it firmly away. He then hid the key inside the small area of Gabriel's holoball, so the AI would be able to keep him from it.

Unless Gabriel allowed it, he would be unable to use the Gems, outside of the scheduled shipments from home.

Sam promptly took the wheel so Harry could sleep.

* * *

><p>Thor was having a bad month. Since his return from wherever Loki had hidden himself, Odin had apparently realized his son knew exactly where his brother was.<p>

And he was demanding Thor bring him back to face the consequences of his actions. Frigga kept her silence, but it was evident to anyone who watched her that she was distinctly upset with her husband at the moment. So much so that she put Odin through the Asgardian equivalent of sleeping on the couch. He thought she was being unreasonable, but he could do little to change his wife's thoughts on the matter.

So when Thor was requested in one of the more friendly realms, he went without considering it.

He found himself in a rather...worrying situation.

Hel wanted to see him, and she had used a pawn to insure he would meet her.

Thor bent down respectfully to the Ruler of the Dead.

"Lady Hel, you wished to see me?"

"_Your brother Loki is beginning to change things, despite the fact he fled rather than face Odin. I allowed him to discover he had accidentally uncovered the Soul Gem, and he has used it more wisely than I anticipated. Which is why I am going to offer him two more to see if he is capable of handling the full set."_

Thor's eyes widened.

"Loki does not desire the power the Infinity Stones can give him."

"_Which is why he makes the best guardian for them. Who better to protect the power they contain than a man who can use them, but chooses to ignore he has them until the situation warrants their use?"_ said Hel.

Thor winced. Loki was not going to be happy being the guardian of two more Gems, even if it meant he was one Stone away from the complete set. And it would only add credence to Odin's belief that Loki desired power, even if he never once gave the Gauntlet more than a passing glance.

"_You will contact Loki, and upon leaving this universe will hand the two Gems I have collected to your brother. If he proves capable of handling the power, I will reveal the location of the final stone."_

Thor said nothing. What was there to say to the Ruler of the Dead? The only thing he could think of at that moment was that Loki was not going to be very happy with two extras to his collection.

Thor knew his brother. Loki most likely dumped the Stones in a drawer with the wand that amplified magical power a thousand times past the limits and the cloak that could hide one even from Death herself, and then promptly forgot he had them until he actually needed the power. And the only reason Thor knew of the artifacts was because Tony accidentally stumbled upon the cloak and proceeded to annoy Fury and the Son of Coul repeatedly with it. Fury had been most irritated when he found out that Loki was technically the "Master of Death" and yet no one was aware of the fact.

It was the same reason Loki refused to help the Avengers unless he had to. He didn't want the headache of someone coming after him in the hopes of gaining a false power.


	10. Chapter 10

Harry tried not to laugh. He really did. But the second he heard Dean was tricked into handing over the keys of the Impala to a complete stranger...only to have his car protected by the territorial Bones in the back, he broke out in outright snickering at the man's expense.

"It's not funny!"

"Yes it is. You were convinced to hand over your precious car to a psychic like Sam, only this one thankfully never turned homicidal. His twin brother on the other hand..."

"He has a twin?" said Sam.

"He's one of a hundred dosed by Azazel. Relatively harmless, but his brother took offense to the knowledge his twin had been separated from him at birth. They have identical powers, by the way."

"_Hey Boss. Incoming message from Sparky,"_ said Gabriel. He had what looked like a phone in his hands, mostly to keep up the ruse he was alive.

"What does he want?"

"_Death has two of the Gems, and is offering chance to complete set so long as you continue to guard the powers. Oh, and 'Mother wishes you well'."_

"What."

"_Apparently Hel took note that you had the Soul Gem, and was so pleased by the fact you don't use the Infinity Stones willy-nilly that she'll send the other two you way and eventually reveal the location of the last one. While it means Odin would have more ammo for his theory that you're collecting them for the power, it also means one less thing you'll have proof that you don't actually care for the power the longer you stay away from home."_

"Dear magic... I don't want that headache. And I would avoid Asgard anyway because I'm sick of the place," said Harry rubbing his head.

What Odin failed to realize was that Loki had absolutely no desire to return. He should have figured _that_ out when he cleared out his entire room and left only the bed. Or the fact he raided the kitchens and bought as much mead as he could under as many different disguises as he could think of so he wouldn't have to resupply any time this century.

He even had spice plants that were native to Asgard and the other realms so he wouldn't lack for familiar tastes!

"You know at this rate I might as well take a vacation in another alternate universe..." sighed Loki.

Sam looked at his friend wide-eyed.

"You'd come back, right?"

"Considering I recently kidnapped an angel because I apparently pissed off the heavenly host more than I anticipated, and I _still_ haven't outpranked the resident Loki, of course I would come back. Besides, you're the first real friend I've had in a very long time that wasn't enamored with Thor because he's a 'super hero'."

"To be fair, he reminds me rather strongly of Dean when he has foot-in-mouth syndrome," said Sam dryly.

"HEY!"

"Wait, did you just say you kidnapped an angel?" said Sam, Loki's comments finally sinking in.

"Someone sent Castiel, the angel I based Dean's personal AI on, down to get rid of me. Probably because they were either really pissed off by me sending Azazel on a one-way trip to heaven, or more likely someone realized that whoever sent him up could level the playing field enough that humanity could take care of this on their own," said Loki dryly.

"How did you kidnap him?" asked Dean.

"You know how I have 'empty' arc reactors lying around the house waiting to be charged? I figured if it could hold a portion of the Tesseract's power, then it could easily hold an angel's true form. They're basically ascended beings who can take human hosts, after all. It wasn't that far a stretch," said Loki shrugging...before he grinned "Besides, I'm waiting for Castiel to get used to being stuck in there before I let him out of my house to wander the RV. He keeps having panic attacks."

"I would say you're evil, but you're the best lawyer I know, so I would just be stating the obvious," deadpanned Dean.

Loki smiled rather angelically at him.

"I stand corrected. You're more evil and terrifying than any demon," said Dean flatly.

"So if you're going on vacation soon, where will you go?"

"To the only version of the Asgard I've found that aren't complete idiots and actually strive to improve existing technology. Should be good for quite a bit of laughs," said Loki with a straight face.

Sam went through that comment in his head, and there was only _one_ race known as the Asgard that would fit the bill...and give Loki quite a bit of amusement at the expense of his brother and family.

"Dude...take me with you!" said Sam.

"Sammy?"

"He's going to the series _Stargate: SG-1_! The one where the Asgard are the same little gray men that keep appearing in human tales about aliens, and where Loki is the one who keeps abducting people!" said Sam eagerly.

Upon finding out yes, aliens did in fact exist, Sam got into quite a few Sci-Fi series. As a consequence he was an even bigger nerd according to Dean. _Stargate SG-1_ was a cult classic that spawned several spin-off series.

Dean ran that statement through his head and tried to visualize the boisterous blond musclehead he had met to a little gray alien. He started laughing.

"Oh god, count me in too! That would be hilarious to see tall, blond and hammer-happy next to his alien double!" cackled Dean.

"Once we find Loki of this Earth, I'll take us all on a very much overdue month long vacation...if only so we can mock Thor endlessly later. To be blunt, I've been needed some new tech to play with anyway," said Loki chuckling.

Dean and Sam were in jail, awaiting Harry's arrival. They had gotten busted during a case, and for once Sam couldn't talk their way out of it, despite being a board-certified freelance lawyer thanks to Harry.

Thank you online courses.

Harry walked in, radiating clear disinterest in the cops themselves and a self-assured gait that had the detectives on edge. It was painfully obvious what he was, the question on their minds was who his clients were.

The female detective looked like she had bitten into something extra sour when she found out he was there for the Winchesters. No wonder they kept getting off murder and felony charges...their lawyer was one of the most vicious and downright ruthless she had ever met.

It begged the question how a high school drop out and a freelance lawyer like Sam had befriended the man.

Harry snuck into an abandoned building and with a blasting hex broke down the wall that hid the body. He then called it in to the woman's personal cell, making sure Gabriel blocked the caller ID. By morning her partner was arrested for murder and the brothers were cleared.

Dean looked at his brother.

"I think it's time we saw if Harry really can talk his way out of anything, don't you?" asked Dean.

"Absolutely."

Sam called Harry in, because there was a rash of crossroad deals and they wanted to confirm Harry really could out-deal a demon. Either way it would be funny to see what happened.

The only issue was that he wasn't alone.

"No freaking way..." said Dean in awe.

Tony Stark was with him.

"So why exactly is Iron Man here?" asked Sam.

"Long story short, he got put on medical leave and Pepper was out with the flu and unable to keep him from getting into trouble. So in order to make sure he actually heals from his rather serious injuries, she asked if I could babysit him since I can just stun him with magic without hurting him. He's with me for a month, and you're free to geek out as much as you want Dean."

"What about Bruce Banner?" asked Sam.

"Bruce will be coming later. He's still worried that the Hulk will cause trouble, despite the fact I could easily handle him now. Well and he was told he would have to pay for any damages from his little sparring matches with Thor by Fury after the last time," added Harry as an afterthought.

It was actually an addition to the same bill that forced super villains and super heroes to pay for the damages they caused. As a consequence, Bruce and Thor had to go off-world to let the Hulk get his rampages out safely.

"So where's this infamous Impala I've heard so much about?" asked Tony cheerfully. Dean grinned and gladly lead Tony to his Baby, and the two struck up an easy conversation of classics versus the newer models...which quickly went to a long conversation of classic rock to the more modern music.

There was a reason why Iron Man was Dean's favorite Marvel hero.

Sam looked at an amused Harry.

"So why did you call me anyway?"

"Long story short we want to confirm the theory you could out-deal a demon. Figured this was as good a time as any to see if your silver tongue could outtalk the devil himself," said Sam.

"Gabriel, I want you to record this moment for future amusement. Let's find someone who still has enough time left on their deal for me to work with...if they deserve a second chance that is," said Harry with almost sadistic glee.

The Winchesters weren't the only ones who wanted that particular question answered, and it had been far too long since he had a real challenge for his ability to talk people out of trouble. Out-dealing a demon sounded like great fun, as goading humans in the courtroom did eventually become rather dull once you had the opposition pinned.

Tony took one look at the satisfied smirk and had to ask "Okay, who the hell did you unleash the Viper on?"

"Viper?" said Sam.

"Harry's nickname in the courtroom. He strikes as fast as a viper and his poisoned barbs tend to leave the opposite side in tears. It's actually how I first met him... I hired him to go after Congress when they tried to take the suit, and he showed them that the idea simply wasn't financially feasible for the amount they were likely to order. A single platoon cost more than most air craft carriers, a fact they were unaware of. Should have seen their faces when they found out where Harry got the figures."

"I help him out once and he never left me alone since. Fortunately the fact he actually has a brain kept me from driving him off."

"So who did you unleash Harry on anyway?" asked Tony.

"A crossroads demon. We figured if anyone was able to out talk a demon trying to get someone's soul, it would be him. Turns out we were right...though I have to admit, seeing a crossroad demon piss itself in fear was not what we had in mind," said Sam.

Tony snorted in amusement.

"So you met Crowley yet?" said Tony.

"Who?"

"Demon in charge of all crossroad demons, he was in the books," said Tony.

Thor wasn't the only one who read the books. Practically every Avenger had, at some point, picked up a copy out of either boredom or curiosity at what sort of series Loki read. Most of them had read the entire series.

"I still can't believe we're part of a freaking book series," complained Dean... "You would think the shark would let us read them, but no, he has to keep them to himself."

"I'm glad you think I'm as pleasant as a shark, considering they're alpha predators," sing-songed Harry.

"Dude, when you go after people you have the same soulless eyes sharks do...and you're like one whenever you find something interesting," said Dean flatly.

"I'll concede that. You're like a shark with blood in the water and someone splashing when you're really in a vindictive mood and sense weakness," shuddering Tony.

"Actually I get why he won't share more than a few volumes with us. Too much information before we need it can cause more harm than good," said Sam.


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay, was not expecting the outpouring of fan squeals at the idea of me sending them to Stargate as a joke. But now that I have your approval, I will definitely consider it. Also, there is a poll up for who I pair permanently with Harry/Loki. **

_**Please keep in mind Loki is a shape shifter, and can take female form if he wants, as can Gabriel! ***_**Hint hint***

* * *

><p>"What in the Pit's unholy name do you mean, you were out-dealed by a <em>human<em>?!" screamed Crowley.

"I mean that the Winchesters brought in a lawyer that not only saw a loophole that won the guy's soul back, but did it so ruthlessly I was almost certain I was being outdone by _you_," she said crossly.

"Say what?"

"This...Harry Potter, ripped through my attempts to keep the soul like it was nothing, had a distinct British accent, and above all resembled a freaking shark about to devour my soul all with a smile on his face as he insured that I lost the contract," she stated flatly.

Crowley stared.

"You have got to be kidding."

"I wish. This guy was as ruthless as you are when it comes to the high-ranked deals, and just as friendly when Lilith is around," she stated.

Crowley blinked. He never thought he would find someone just as devious, self-serving or ruthless as he was. It was so hard to find anyone who could give him a decent challenge these days. Either they got killed off by pissing off the wrong person, or they ended up in the pit before long.

Mostly because they thought they could get out of their deals. It almost never worked, but watching them flail around trying to get out of them was always entertaining.

* * *

><p>"Ugh...that is an insult to the profession. She won the case through sheer luck and the fact she was a walking stereotype," said Harry in disgust.<p>

He had just finished watching _Legally Blonde_ for the first time and frankly he was shocked Tony hadn't made him watch this sooner.

Tony, on the other hand, was snickering.

"Alright, you've had your fun at my expense, now it's my turn. After reading that _Twilight_ crap I had to find a decent vampire series...and it eventually lead me to this. Drake seemed rather fond of it as well, once I introduced him to it."

Loki still talked to Drake and Blade. Now that Odin knew he was alive and in another realm, he didn't see the need to hide it. So he kept in contact with all his real friends via AI that were powered by Arc Reactors. Drake had Alucard (once introduce to the series itself) and Blade had Whistler, an AI version of his former mentor.

"What is it?"

Loki smirked.

"It's called _Hellsing_."

And so Tony was introduced to one of the bloodiest, most interesting Vampire and supernatural (but mostly vampires) series he had seen in a while.

"You know Natasha misses you."

Loki carefully schooled his expression. While he did indeed the dry wit of the Black Widow, the fact was that his friends were safer _without_ him there.

"How is she?"

"Dating the Capsicle. Apparently he's the only one around who isn't turned off by the fact she's nearly eighty outside of you."

"He'd be good for her, I think. I still can't believe _Death_ sent two more of those damn Gems my way when I'm not actively seeking the bloody things."

"What are these Gems and why is Odin so pissed you have them anyway? Thor never explained about that."

"Basically they're artifacts of immeasurable power that allow you to literally control every aspect of the universe. To put this into proper perspective, if the Mad Titan who convinced my old self to acquire the Tesseract got all six of them, he could literally wipe out all life in the universe with a single gesture," said Loki.

Tony blinked.

"You're kidding right?"

Loki shook his head.

"Hel, who is one of the Gods that rule Death, is being courted by Thanos. She has told him that if he wishes to seek her 'favor', then he must erase half the sentient life in the universe...which is easily accomplished if he has the Infinity Gauntlet and all six Gems that power it. Now the Tesseract _was_ in the treasure vaults of Asgard along with the Gauntlet itself. However when Thor was planning to save his lover Jane from a second stone, which controls reality, we agreed that I would fake my death and remove two of the stones from that universe. As long as even _one_ stone is in another part of the multiverse, the Gauntlet and the power it represents can never be completed."

Tony stared.

"Why you though?"

"Maybe because I am a true neutral party and while I have half the set already, I have no need for the power. Hel likely agrees with my idea of removing the stones altogether to avoid the headache it would cause, which is probably why she sent two more my way, despite the fact I don't want or need them."

"Ah. Who better to guard the most powerful things in the universe than the one person who has the power to control them but doesn't need them, right?" said Tony, catching on.

Now that he thought about it, Loki was probably the _only_ person in the universe who could own something like that and not feel the need to use them. For crying out loud, he was an honorary member of the Avengers who only joined in when he had to! He refused to be called a super-hero or super-villain because he didn't want the headache of a rival!

"So...what did you think of my two new AI, Dean and Castiel?" grinned Loki.

Tony snickered.

"Only you would be so bored as to make an AI and those holoballs just to annoy someone else. And what was with that weird one that keeps hyperventilating whenever you are in the same room?"

"Ah. Someone may or may not have used the Soul Gem to shove an angel into an empty arc reactor to send a warning..." said Loki.

"What warning?"

"The 'mess with me and I'll do worse than trap you in a human device' kind of warning. If I can directly manipulate an angel's essence with a whim, then they would be wary of what _else_ I could do to them without their vessels enough to leave me alone. Fortunately they seem to have gotten the message to back the hell off or else, because I haven't seen another angel yet," said Loki smugly.

"And the fact you can corrupt Castiel early is...?" said Tony grinning.

"Bonus. Who doesn't like Cas?"

Said angel was currently with the Winchester brothers, in order to learn more about humanity...and hopefully convince the overly amused pagan to release him so he could return to heaven.

Loki sincerely hoped that they ran into Gabriel while they had Castiel stuck in that reactor. It would be absolutely hilarious to see his reaction to the fact someone had trapped an angel while at the same time made it possible for them to interact with the rest of the world. Sort of.

* * *

><p>Sam took one look at the way the professor had died, then at the janitor who looked far too much like Gabriel to be a coincidence.<p>

Odds were they had just found Loki.

Time to call Harry.

"_Harry, how may I make your life hell for a fee?"_ chirped an overly amused pagan.

"I think we found Loki."

He could hear Harry sit up, and then with an eager voice.

"_Are you absolutely sure it's him?"_

"You did say you modeled your AI on our Loki," said Sam flatly.

"_I'll be there in the morning. Should I send Gabriel your way early?"_

Sam honestly considered that...before an idea occurred to him that only cemented the fact he spent far too much time around Harry.

"Go for it. We can have him hit on girls and guys alike to get the janitor slapped."

Harry's cackle confirmed that he approved of Sam's idea. Odds were that Dean would be more than happy to help with that prank.

* * *

><p>Loki was confused.<p>

He had been minding his own business eating lunch when no less than five girls and two guys had slapped or punched him. It had hurt for only a second, but the fact remained he had no clue why they had done it.

Especially when, after looking through their memories he found the sight of himself groping random people at a bar while flirting outrageously with people who were obviously dating someone else.

Still, it wasn't like it actually hurt him that much...just really confusing.

Loki grinned as he spotted the Winchesters going into the sewer. Time to prank Dean.

"I'm going to kill him," said Dean.

Someone, and he suspected it was Loki, had let the air out of the tires and put sugar in the gas tank.

Now, normally he would suspect Sam of pranking him for somehow crashing his computer for all of three hours (before his AI self and Castiel got rid of the viruses plaguing it), but there was no way his brother would _dare_ put sugar in his gas tank. Let the air out of the tires, yes, but not mess with the gas tank.

Sam growled in agreement.

If they had to chose between Harry and the resident Loki, Harry would win hands down. Harry might traumatize you a little, but at least he wasn't this irritating.

"So are you going to feel any sympathy for what's about to fall on him?" asked Sam.

"Hell. No."

"Yeah, me either."

There was a knock on the door.

"I have come to cause mass chaos, migraines, and to help you get some damn payback. Am I too late?" asked Harry hopefully, an evil gleam in his eyes.

"Hell no, you're just in time! We're gonna confront the bastard later once the school is closed at the auditorium."

"Perfect. Gentlemen, let's get to plotting," said Harry clapping his hands eagerly. The answering smirks on Dean and Sam's faces would have sent chills down a demon's spine.

As it was, Loki got a nasty shudder going down his.

Dean's cackling certainly didn't help. In fact it made the shudder worse.

* * *

><p>Loki was eagerly awaiting the Winchesters and whatever help they scrounged up to deal with the big bad Trickster. He popped in another sucker while the fake girls he conjured up waited for Dean.<p>

He turned when the door opened, expecting Dean.

Instead he blinked twice as he realized there was some sort of bubblegum and dark pink horse with blue eyes and three balloons on her flank with a poofy mane and tail in his face.

"What. The. Hell."

"HI! My name's Pinkie Pie, what's yours?" she asked with a far too chipper voice.

"Um...Loki."

"You can't be Loki. Loki has a better sense of humor!" she said happily.

"...Okay...?" he said confused.

This was not how he expected this day to go. Talking to some sort of twisted horse creature who sounded like she was on a perpetual sugar and caffeine high who said he wasn't Loki.

Pinkie kept hopping, skipping and generally popping up around him at random. It was really weird, in his opinion. But nowhere near as weird as her appearing at his side saying "Cupcake?"

It had bright red frosting and was clearly vanilla.

Loki grinned, figuring this horse thing wasn't that bad if it liked cupcakes.

"Sure!"

He quickly regretted taking the cupcake when, seconds after eating it, his mouth felt like it was on fire!

The entire time he was trying to cool off his mouth from eating the hot-sauce laced cupcake, Pinkie kept talking about her friends and her pet alligator Gummy.

When he finally recovered from eating the laced treat, his brain finally registered the sound of someone laughing their ass off.

Dean Winchester had arrived...and he wasn't alone. Beside him was someone that sent Loki's alarms going off big time.

It was an angel. Except this angel felt...weird. He couldn't sense the vessel's soul, and there was this weird electronic hum around him.

"Who's that?"

"_Castiel. He should have done his homework before he confronted someone trickier than him,"_ supplied 'Pinkie'...who much to the shock of Loki turned into a near double of him. Only with a halo.

"What the hell?!"

"Have fun Gabe?" Dean asked. Loki tensed. How the hell did Winchester know...

"_You bet! I hope Boss let's me keep the data for the 'Pinkie' program, because his expression was hilarious!"_ said Gabriel happily.

Loki relaxed, realizing Dean was addressing the weird double.

Sam, who had snuck in while he was hyperventilating, snickered.

"Totally worth hiding under that weird cloak of yours," he told someone Loki hadn't noticed. In his hands was a camera.

"Just think, Gabriel will have recorded the entire thing for you and Dean to watch over and over again."

"Who the heck are you?" he asked confused.

The newcomer smirked. It sent shivers of something down his spine.

"Me? I'm an alternate version of you...just without the..._feathers_," he said with a smirk.

He winced. It was pretty clear this other Loki knew _exactly_ who he was.

"Love to stay and chat boys, but I have another idiot I need to teach a lesson to. Ciao!" he said, vanishing. No way was he sticking around with another Loki around.

"Did you see the look on his face?" snickered Dean.

"Oh, just wait until he realizes that now I've got his signature through Gabriel, he'll never be rid of me or my pranks," cackled Harry.

Dean's grin widened.

"I demand pictures and video of his expression when he finds out you can track him down and then do that laugh that makes your own AI creeped out," he said flatly.

"Done."

"I want his expression when he finds out what you did to Castiel because of his superior's stupidity," said Sam.

"Also done," said Harry grinning evilly. He was going to enjoy this.


	12. Chapter 12

Gabriel shuddered. It was that _laugh_ again. It scared the hell out of him! He had thought listening to that ponce Zachariah and his self-righteous attitude was bad...this was infinitely worse!

Finally, right when he couldn't take it another second, he was confronted by his overly amused double.

"How the hell did you find me?!"

"_Dude, we got your energy signature when the Winchesters went to prank you. He's been wanting to meet you for years!"_ said Gabriel grinning.

"What?"

"What my personal assistant slash minion is trying and failing to say is that you were my favorite character in the Winchester Gospels. So much so that I designed his entire personality from what I read in the books," said Harry dryly.

"Those haven't been printed yet," said Gabriel.

"Not in this time line, but I have the sneaking suspicion your _Father_ sent them my way once they were as a subtle nudge to come fix things in his place."

Gabriel stared at him.

"Which Loki are you?" he asked carefully.

Harry smirked, and switched from his new 'human' persona to his original Asgardian form.

"You have got to be joking. The Marvel-verse Loki?!"

Gabriel had looked into his pagan alternates out of boredom once. Marvel Loki was one of the cruelest and the most evil.

"Guilty."

"Why would you be helping the Winchesters? Shouldn't you be back in your universe making Thor's life miserable?" said Gabriel in confusion and disbelief.

"As I recall, angels can read memories, correct?" said Loki amused. Gabriel nodded slowly. "Then you can read mine. Or I can drag up a bowl that allows mortals to do the same thing. It doesn't matter to me."

"No offense, but I would rather use the bowl," said Gabriel flatly. Being in Marvel Loki's head was too disturbing for him to even consider. Especially with how bad his alternates were.

Loki shrugged, then conjured an odd bowl covered in runes. He then deposited several vials of silvery liquid with the instruction to simply put his hand into it. Gabriel did so, and found himself lost in the memories.

When he came out, he had a new-found look of respect for his pagan alternate.

"You don't pull any punches do you?" he said in respect.

"Again, why pull punches when it's more effective to just be blunt and not sugar coat the truth?"

Gabriel couldn't believe the difference between the usual Marvel-alternate Loki and this one. Or the fact that Loki was so impressed with him that he actually made an AI based on _him_.

"So what exactly did you do to my baby brother anyway?"

"I'm not about to bow to Heaven's demands like a human. I stuffed him into an empty arc reactor using the Soul gem as a warning to the others that if they cross me that I will retaliate in kind."

Gabriel shuddered.

"Yeah...that wouldn't have gone over well," he said.

"Zachariah can kiss my ass. I hated his character from the start, almost as much as loathed Ruby's."

"So what now?"

"You mean outside of pranking each other whenever we both get bored?" said Loki cheekily. Gabriel grinned at him. It was rare he found anyone who could give as good as he got. Or that would willingly associate with him while bored.

"The Winchesters aren't going to expect me to help them with every little thing now are they?" asked Gabriel.

"They're more likely to call me and ask for advice than they are you. They know that I'll help, but stupid requests are likely to result in me traumatizing them through the AI. Should have seen their faces when I had Dean and Castiel's AI versions going at it while they were eating..."

Gabriel laughed outright. This version of Loki was way more fun than most he had found!

* * *

><p>Sam couldn't help it. He was snickering.<p>

"Let me get this straight. You finally confront your alternate of this universe alone...and he develops a man-crush on you?"

"It's rare for him to find a fellow Trickster who knows what he actually is and isn't offended by the fact he lied to them," said Harry amused.

"I would ask, but your AI made it pretty obvious so I won't bother," deadpanned Sam.

Harry was a fan of the 'Winchester Gospels' to the point that he based his entire AI off of Loki's character. The fact he named it Gabriel and gave it a halo as a joke was a pretty big sign telling Sam all he needed to know about their universe's Loki...who apparently _wasn't_ Loki.

"He calls it his own personal Witness Protection,"said Harry amused.

"If he comes after us again I am calling you immediately," said Sam flatly.

"Fair enough."

"So any idea of what we're in for?"

"Odds are, a blood tournament. I would advise keeping Dean on you at all times and his Holo-ball...I sincerely doubt that the pit had figured out how to ward against the energy I use to power him. If they had, I would be more than happy to wipe them out," said Harry.

Sam snorted.

"So...any other super heroes that plan to drop in unexpectedly?"

"Hulk, probably. If I'm really unlucky Natasha will show up..."

"The Black Widow? What do you have against her?"

"We went out on a few dates. I had to leave in a hurry, but I did leave a message explaining why," said Harry. Sam snorted.

"So she's your ex?"

"Somewhat. We only went on a couple of dates before this mess started."

"_Uh...Boss?"_

"What is it?"

"_Seems Fury found out about the Gems and the power they hold, so he's having paranoid panic attacks. He's almost at the level of Odin for some strange reason."_

"And the fact I have never even bothered to _use_ my powers outside of giving supers a migraine because they're now accountable for their actions...?"

"_From what JARVIS said, it's mostly the 'complete the set and you can wipe out half the universe'_ _that he's focusing on,"_ said Gabriel dryly.

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Who's scheduled to visit during the next shipment?"

"_Banner and Hawkeye. He was put on medical leave and Natasha said this was easier than having to get a magical to pin him down until his injuries heal up. She also said she would appreciate it if you healed him so he could have a vacation away from being a super spy,"_ said Gabriel.

Sam perked up when he mentioned Barton. Harry sighed.

"Can you open up a link to wherever Fury is? I might as well nip this in the bud before he drives the other's insane, and by extension _me_ when they visit."

"_Can do Boss!_"

Sam was treated to the unique sight of a rather annoyed Nicholas Fury.

"**Loki. What do you want?"**

"Outside of clearing something up considering you likely heard about this from Stark? What do you know about the Infinity Gems?"

"**Only that they can wipe us out,"**said Fury, grinding his teeth. He did _not_ like the idea of someone having that much power. Especially when the one with them admitted there was someone actively seeking them just to wipe out half the universe.

Loki looked a little irritated at him.

"Fury, did it never occur to you that I faked my death for a reason, or that I have an excuse as to why I've been having _Thor,_ who is not the most subtle of people, continue the shipments?"

"**You're going to tell me anyway."**

"I left because out of all the sentient beings in our universe, I'm likely the only one who could possess an Infinity Gem and not have the desire to use it. When I found out I had three, not the two I originally believed, I knew there was no way I could return...at least not until Thanos and his idiots are dealt with. I even have the bloody Elder wand and I've never used it once!"

Fury stopped and stared.

"**Oh no. No, no, no... You are NOT telling me you're the damn Master of Death that those idiots in England are currently trying to find! Do you have any idea of the headaches the magically inclined sections have been having because they know someone completed that damn set and hasn't come forward?!"**

Loki gave an evil grin.

"Well now you can spread the word that Harry 'Viper' Potter is the one who completed the set, and that they can go screw themselves. Besides, the stone in question was actually an Infinity Gem."

Sam barely resisted the urge to laugh when he saw Fury bang his head against his desk.

"**I'm sending Barton your way. Try not to blow up whatever universe you're hiding in,"**said Fury finally. Loki snickered.

The image cut out, mostly because the next shipment was tomorrow.

"I can't believe I get to met the Hulk and Hawkeye!" said Sam.

"You can geek out with Bruce while I prank Loki with Barton," smirked Harry.

It wasn't well known, but Clint was a real prankster at heart. It was why he got along so easily with Harry. So the opportunity to prank the hell out of his alternate was something the archer was unlikely to pass up.

"Sweet."

* * *

><p>Harry takes one look at Clint and asks bluntly, "How the hell did you hurt yourself?"<p>

"Strained my back when I pulled the longbow too far while fighting," he replied instantly.

Harry sighed.

"Get over here. The sooner I heal you, the sooner we can get into a prank war with the resident Loki," he said.

Barton didn't complain. This was going to double as his vacation once his back was healed.

Bruce was over talking to Sam, an amused glint in his eyes.

"So...who do you want to travel with, the Winchesters or me?" he asked finally.

"Dude, I'm sticking with you. I heard the words prank war and I want in," said Clint flatly.

"Bruce?"

"I'll stick with Bobby, thanks. I'm actually more interested in seeing what it's like researching this stuff," said Bruce shrugging.

Bobby certainly didn't mind the extra help, or the fact that the Hulk could lift cars up with one hand so he could check under it for problems.

Since Loki left, Bruce had been working on coexisting with his inner demon, and for the most part it was helping. Besides, Bruce had a knack for dead languages, which cut down on translation time. The two got along surprisingly well.

Harry looked at Castiel.

It seemed the angel had finally figured out that Harry wasn't going to let him go that easy, or had given up trying to break free of the container.

Either way he had quit hyperventilating whenever he entered the room.

"May I leave this...house...now?" he asked.

"Are you going to cause any trouble if I let you out?"

Castiel shook his head.

"Have you figured out why I trapped you instead of killing you or forcibly sending you back?"

He shook his head again.

Loki waved his hand, making Castiel solid. Then he pointed him in the direction of the bookshelf.

"On that shelf is every volume of the Winchester Gospels printed up until Sam drags Lucifer, his half-brother Adam, and Micheal down into hell in a desperate gambit of ending the Apocalypse. Read those and you'll understand why I was reluctant to send you to heaven or kill you outright. I want you to know that I will do everything in my power to keep what happened in the _Hammer of the Gods_ from occurring twice even if I have to end Lucifer myself."

He _hated_ that volume, and had been beyond pissed when he found out that the author had killed Gabriel in such a ridiculous fashion. Why the hell hadn't that idiot simply flown off as soon as the Winchesters were clear?!

Castiel's eyes widened.

"The Winchester Gospels have not been written yet."

"I know. Gabriel's told me the same when I finally ran into his cowardly ass. However someone, and I suspect your Father is behind this, sent me every volume as soon as it was mass produced...likely in hopes I would take the hint and change a few things. It's the only reasonable explanation for why they were sent my way that I've been able to come up with."

Castiel sat next to the shelf and began to read from volume one to the last book.

The more he read, the more horrified and confused he became. At least, from the point where he saved the Righteous Man to the point where he is killed by Raphael.

When he got to the part where Zachariah openly admitted to helping the demons start the Apocalypse, he grew very quiet.

Loki let him read, as he was driving to the next state over for a hunt. Barton was busy sleeping in the back.

Loki knew when Castiel finished the last book, because he came out.

"Are you absolutely certain these are the Winchester Gospels?" he asked quietly.

"If I wasn't, I never would have chosen this Earth to hide on. Besides...something always bothered me about how the angels helped the Apocalypse happen, rather than do everything in their power to prevent it."

Castiel looked at him.

"As I recall, when 'God' created humanity, his order was for the angels to love and guide them. Not enslave and rule over them with an iron fist, like Zachariah intends to do. Which makes me wonder...when did the angels lost sight of their Father's last wish before he vanished?"

Castiel had no answer to that, but after reading the books he was starting to question why heaven had gotten so off track himself.


	13. Chapter 13

Gabriel looked up when he sensed Loki arrive. He had finally gotten the hang of sensing that weird energy the guy used. However it was what was in his hand that had him staring.

"What is _that_?"

"This...is an angel. Or the essence of one. I was hoping you could corrupt him to the way of pranks, because he's dreadfully dull and doesn't particularly like me since I was the one to trap him in here," said Loki grinning.

"You trapped an angel. Inside a ball. Without holy oil."

It was all said in a deadpan voice, but somehow Gabriel could believe it.

"Yup. I pissed off heaven by sending up Azazel, so they sent him to try and either kill or get rid of me. Instead I trapped him and threw him into my house until he managed to calm down."

"Who'd you catch in the Pokéball then?"

Loki had been feeling mischievous, so he changed the casing so that it resembled a Pokéball as a joke. Sam had gotten it, as had Dean.

"His name is Castiel."

"Castiel, as in the one who's stuck dragging Dean out of hell if he ever makes a deal. That Castiel?" said Gabriel slowly.

Loki's grin only widened.

Gabriel looked at him.

"And you want me to...corrupt...him?"

"He's a boy scout, and entirely too boring. I think it would be easier if an older, more powerful angel corrupted him than me, because then your brothers can't bitch about it."

"So...anything goes in terms of corrupting him to be like me, right?" said Gabriel grinning now. This ought to be fun.

"So long as he doesn't fall, it's not my concern. Can you imagine Micheal's expression when he realizes what you've done to one of his?"

Gabriel cackled.

"So how does this work? Can he interact with the world or..."

"He has limited interaction. Though he has been able to turn pages in a book. If you want to give him a vessel based around this holoball, be my guest."

Gabriel's grin took an evil tinge. If Castiel were able to see it, he would have been afraid for his sanity. As it was, Loki smirked.

"So what was with the prank war you started last month?"

"An old friend of mine wanted to have a bit of fun on his forced vacation, and he's a prankster like me. And I figured you rarely have any real competition for pranks...so..."

Gabriel laughed.

"What's your friend's name?"

"Clint Barton, AKA Hawkeye. Fury was not happy when he realized I gave Barton more ammo to heckle his handler with."

That set Gabriel off. It was hard to believe what a change this Loki was from all the others from that particular Earth or it's alternates.

* * *

><p>Sam was walking into the diner to get some food when he's knocked out cold. The last thing he would remember was the stench of sulfur, and the alarmed sound of his AI.<p>

* * *

><p>Harry was bored. He was roughly aware of when Sam was dragged to Cold Oaks, and had taken to driving aimlessly in the same state. So when he finally got the call from Dean saying Sam was taken by demons, he was rather quick to drive there.<p>

Just because it was a ghost town didn't mean it was forgotten. It was just a pain in the ass to find a map with the location on it.

He had already warned Dean about the demon attack that would destroy the Roadhouse, and he was going to warn the hunters inside. He knew he could trust the pagan to rescue his brother, considering Loki was closer to Sam than he was Dean.

Harry very nearly swerved into a tree when Hel's ghostly form appeared next to him.

"Don't do that!" he hissed, "What do you want?"

_**You know very well what I want, Loki of Earth. I want to be left alone, the same as you. The last thing I desire is for that fool Thanos to succeed in the task I gave him. Which is why it is imperative that you retrieve the Power Stone before the Mad Titan gets it himself. He is very close to gaining the last Infinity Stone left available.**_

"Can't this wait?"

_**You have **_**one****_ day before the Stone is taken by Thanos' agent._**

"Fair enough. I'm sure Sam will be thrilled to see my end of the multiverse for a while," said Harry.

Harry walked two miles from the road and found Sam.

"Harry? What are you doing here?"

"Dean called me the second you went missing. I had a feeling it was this ridiculous blood tournament."

Sam looked openly relieved to see his friend.

"Is Dean alright?"

"He's fine, but I have to leave for a bit to retrieve something. Care to join me?"

"Is this about those rocks you keep collecting?"

Loki's opinion of the Infinity Stones? Annoying rocks that caused more trouble than they were worth.

As he had explained to an amused Sam, he felt better knowing they were someplace where they were relatively safe, but kept out of sight and mind. As long as Loki had them, the rest of the universe was safe from idiots seeking to use the Stone's powers to wreck havoc, and more importantly Thanos' mad quest to court Hel.

He was already pissed that Loki had three of them, to his knowledge. Particularly the Soul Stone. He would be even more angry if he knew that Thor had delivered the Mind and Time Stones.

All that was missing was Power.

"Count me in!"

"I had a feeling you would say that. Unfortunately it looks as though I'll be forced to use something I rather dislike, if only so that we can get around without having to deal with Odin."

"What's that?"

"My ship."

Asgard did have some space craft, but they were more used to the Bifrost than the inter-stellar ships. One of the first things Loki had stolen before he left was all the Asgardian space craft. It wasn't like they were using them, and the only time he had ever seen them in service was during the time the Bifrost was broken.

"Asgard has ships?"

"Had, is more like it."

Loki had been taking to modifying (and more importantly upgrading) the ships out of sheer boredom. The only thing he was missing was beaming technology similar to the ones used by the Asgard from the 'Stargate' show, but that would be relatively easy to acquire once he was back in his home universe for a few hours.

Sam looked particularly gleeful.

"Can we bring Dean along, please? You know he'll never stop whining if we don't bring him with us."

"Hmm. Might as well bring Bobby too. Not like he couldn't use a vacation or five. Possibly the resident Loki and his new minion as well."

"You gave him the Pokéball, didn't you?"

"Damn straight I did! Castiel wouldn't stop bitching since he realized there was no way in this century I was letting him out without some assurances that he wouldn't go back whining to his superiors! He needs to loosen up, and Loki was the first person who came to mind!"

The entire conversation was being done after Harry had gotten rid of the other psychics. Some, like the soldier, had their memory wiped and their powers taken away with a spell and sent back after looking like they were on the wrong end of a nasty fight. Others, like Ava, were killed immediately.

Harry had no patience for Ava, who had become rather homicidal once she got to the point she could control demons with just her mind.

Once that was done, Sam immediately took the chair next to Harry, who began driving to the Roadhouse.

"So how did you find me so fast anyway?"

"GPS, a map with the old location on it, and the fact I was already in the state when Dean called. Just because it's a ghost town doesn't mean it's not on any maps...just had to find one with the town on it."

"Only you would bother to look up a town just to beat Dean here. Who's that?"

"Don't know, don't care. Switch with me so I can paralyze and then exorcise them. Chances are it's some demon pissed I screwed up their precious plan," said Harry flatly.

Sam promptly took the driver's seat. Harry stunned, exorcised, then hit the poor bastard on the road in the span of five minutes with a spell that sent him to the nearest hospital. If they were alive, they would get home in short order. If not, then there was nothing to implicate them.

All very neat and tidy.

"It still amazes me that you're a hunter when you can do shit like that without batting an eye."

Harry smirked.

"Sam, Sam, Sam. I'm not a hunter because of some tragic back story. I'm a hunter because it pisses off all sorts of people above, below and everywhere in between, just because they have _no_ clue how powerful I actually am, who's side I'm on, or what I'll do next. Have you ever seen a super villain when someone infinitely stronger comes around and ruins his carefully laid revenge plan? The look on their face when they realize that the one who beat them wasn't some spandex-clad moron or random S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, but a lawyer with nothing better to do and a vindictive streak who was annoyed with them? The sounds of their frustration and agony when I hit them with the bill..."

Sam stared at his friend. Harry's face was positively orgasmic at the memories of the villains (and the rare hero who _really_ pissed him off) reaction whenever he had to be dragged in to end it. The strange part? He always got paid for cleaning up the mess, which was more than could be said of the 'super heroes' like Spider Man or Bruce Banner.

"You're not going to do the laugh, are you?" asked Sam suspiciously.

"Of course not. At least, not at the moment. I'll wait until we collect the last rock before I let that loose, preferably in Asgard to see if I can get Odin to shit himself," said Harry immediately. He was definitely in his happy place.

Sam shook his head. There were times when he wondered how the hell he ended up best friends with someone as twisted and snarky as Harry. Then he would remember the benefits of his friendship, along with the fact Harry was absolutely loyal to his friends to the point he would never betray them and would insure they never turned completely evil, and he would remember why.

Harry was an asshole. But when it came to his friends, he tended to tone the worst of his personality down.

* * *

><p>"Sammy!"<p>

"So did you get there in time?"

"Didn't need to. Put a major salt circle around the bar once they knew it was coming, and they kept firing salt rounds until they took the hint. You don't mess with a hunter's bar if they know an attack is coming and know how to deal with it," said Dean. "Ellen said she might even put a giant devil's trap around the place, so long as the local cops don't notice her doing it."

"Tell her I'd be happy to do it for her, so long as she supplies the alcohol," said Harry.

Dean snickered.

"So what's this I hear about a space ship?"

"Asgardians do have space ships. However once the bifrost was complete they fell into disuse and a majority of them were taken apart or scrapped. They were among the first things I stole from home once I decided to leave permanently."

"Yeah, and?"

"And I got a message that if I want to get the last rock before some moron causes trouble with it, or worse, gives it to the idiot who wants to wipe out half the intelligent life in my universe, then I have to return home and retrieve it myself. Given where it's located, the only way to do that without telling everyone and their grandmother I was once an Asgardian..."

"Is to use the ships which no one uses anymore," finished Dean.

"Now, given that you two seem to enjoy your little forays into my old home, I figured this was a nice time to go on vacation and piss quite a few people off who are trying to find you. Bobby as well, if he's interested in free books and possibly beer," said Harry with a straight face.

"I'm in on one condition."

"And that is?"

"We do at least _one _trip around our sector of the universe and scare some of those guys at NASA with your ship," said Dean.

Harry blinked, before he started laughing. Rather evilly at that.

It was times like these that made him glad that he had partnered up with Sam and Dean. Sometimes they came up with some hilarious ideas to use.

"You want to give them a heart attack about men on Mars?" said Harry grinning. Oh the fun they would have messing with the space community.

"Hell yes! Hey, maybe I can drive Baby on the red planet!" said Dean grinning.

Harry was cracking up now.

"We have to bring Loki in on this. Can you imagine the chaos we could inflict with his help? Or better yet, have Pinkie Pie join us?"

The Winchesters were grinning evilly now. There were times when they remembered why they haven't hunted Harry yet, despite the fact he wasn't human.

This was one of those times.


	14. Chapter 14

Gabriel was cackling. There was no other word for it. Castiel looked mildly uncomfortable, but he was still in a much better mood than when he was stuck with Loki.

He did not like the pagan. He could (barely) live with being stuck with Gabriel, the arch angel.

"You're going to the Marvel verse to pick up the last Stone...and you're letting me join in?"

"One, you are allowed to cause chaos within reason. Two, when we get back we're going to give the scientific community heart attacks when they realize there is a 1967 black Impala cruising around and running over whatever iteration of the Mars Rover is up there at the time. Then I'm taking the Winchesters on a short cruise around the Milky Way so they can see the planets, even if the only one they'll be able to walk on is Mars and the moon above Earth," said Harry with a shit-eating grin.

Gabriel was grinning evilly, there was no other word for it.

"Oh hell yes, count me in! This sounds way more fun than sticking around hoping to find some asshole to teach a lesson to!"

"I was hoping you'd say that," said Harry.

"What about Castiel though?"

"Bring him with us. Maybe we'll be able to corrupt him a little more once he realizes how small his side of the universe actually _is_," said Harry shrugging.

Gabriel slung an arm around Harry's shoulders. He tensed, but it was so brief that Gabriel almost missed it.

"There are times when I can honestly say I love having you around. This is absolutely one of them," said Gabriel grinning.

Gabriel could honestly say he adored this version of Loki. He was snarky, yes, but the sheer entertainment he brought him more than made up for his acid wit!

If he were in girl form, Gabriel would absolutely consider jumping him.

* * *

><p>"Does it ever bother you, that if you were a girl he would have jumped you already?" asked Dean to Harry. He had seen the look on Loki's face, and he recognized it pretty quick.<p>

"There's a thought. Not many can keep up with me, let alone hold their own in a spontaneous prank war...and it's not like I haven't done girl form before. Wonder if he would be open to a little fun while we travel around the Milky Way for a bit," said Harry looking thoughtful.

Dean and Sam gave him odd looks.

"You're seriously considering being a girl."

"We're both shape shifters. You have no idea how kinky we can get when the mood hits us and we forgo any thought of gender-specific roles," shrugged Harry.

Dean looked to his brother.

"I have no idea if that is really, really hot, or really, really creepy. Is it wrong that I want to fantasize about that?" he asked Sam.

Sam snorted.

"Dean, you're a glorified man-whore. If you _didn't _consider fantasizing about it I would wonder if something was wrong with you," stated Sam flatly.

Harry snorted in agreement.

"What a rush!" said Loki gleefully. Castiel followed like a loyal dog, though his expression was a bit...exhausted. Dealing with a hyper Gabriel can do that to you, even if you were an angel. Harry smirked at the angel.

"Still prefer being around your 'older' brother?"

Castiel openly looked like he was considering returning to Harry's side. At least with the pagan his brain didn't hurt and he didn't have the compulsion to keep Gabriel in line.

"So explain to me again why you added this?" said Sam, looking over the holodeck.

"Two words. Movie. Night."

"Hell yeah!" said Dean gleefully.

Harry had, in a fit of boredom, recreated the holodeck from _Star Trek_.

It wasn't because he was a Trekkie (he preferred _Star Wars_), but because he wanted to live through his favorite movies and experience them properly. Dean loved the fact that Harry's ship had a stereo system that let him enjoy AC/DC to the point where you could hear _Back in Black_ all the way out into space.

He could go on a space walk and still hear his tunes! How awesome was that?

Sam put on a bitch face when he realized what Dean focused on, and moved on.

He became totally enamored with Harry's movie collection and on-board library. Where Harry hide his house inside a box, he didn't feel the same need here.

You tended to develop a scope of how much crap Harry had collected. It was a good thing the ship was so big, otherwise Harry would have to max out the spells designed to add more room like he had with the box.

The best part? The entire ship could be run by Gabriel or any of the AI Harry had made.

Dean gleefully jumped into the Holodeck to watch some random movie or another. Harry was quick to call out with the request he not play anything with porn in it. Cleaning up _those_ stains was a pain in the ass he would delegate to whoever used the deck last as punishment.

Sam snorted when Dean tripped.

While they got used to the ship (it really was a pity Bobby declined the offer to join them) Harry started looking for the idiot who called himself Star Lord, of all things.

How someone that stupid could get his hands on an Infinity Stone was something only the mad would try to comprehend.

Anyone with even a drop of human's blood in them had the potential to become a dangerous nuisance. Mainly because humanity had the _worst_ habit of getting into things or finding things they shouldn't. Just look what happened to Jane!

She went looking for the answers to questions that Asgard had long since dismissed as unimportant and ended up stumbling across one of the most dangerous weapons in the universe!

Harry shook his head.

There was a reason he had long since abandoned the fact he was 'Asgardian' when introducing himself. Being human was so much more interesting and tended to lead to far more bizarre situations that he could laugh at after.

"Right...I'm going to take a nap. Gabriel, wake me up if anything of interest comes up," said Harry once he was done.

There was a reason why he detested Asgard. Yes, space ships were slow and bulky, but at least there was the chance of doing _something_ interesting on the way there. All the bifrost did was dump you on your destination, then yank you back with no chance of anything happening at all.

* * *

><p>Harry woke up with an unfamiliar sensation.<p>

There was someone cuddled up next to him. As he was so used to being alone (more or less, if you didn't count his AI) and had gotten used to sleeping without the added benefit of a warm body (his relationship with Natasha never got off the ground, so to speak) this was relatively new territory for him.

Whoever had somehow stumbled into his room and fallen asleep was a cuddle monster. Harry looked...and found Gabriel the arch angel snoring against him. Almost like he was the angel's personal teddy bear.

He was half-tempted to shove the angel off, just to see his face when he realized where he was and who he had just been in bed with. The other half would prefer to go back to sleep and deal with it later.

Judging by the expectant look on his AI's face, Harry chose option two.

Needless to say his AI was rather disappointed he didn't get to tape Gabriel the angel being shoved off a bed and glared at. Oh well...the look on his face when he realized he accidentally crawled into bed with Harry would be almost as entertaining.

His expression was almost as funny as the one he would have had if Harry had shoved the angel out.

"How did I end up here?" he wondered out loud.

"_You broke into Boss' supply of mead, and got so drunk that you didn't think twice of following my directions,"_ said Gabriel cheerfully.

He almost did the same to Sam and Dean (who were still _very_ traumatized after Harry introduced them to the Wincest fanfiction) but realized that they were likely to set AI Dean and Castiel on him if he did.

Well, that and the one time he did trick Sam into Harry's room (Harry had shoved him off the bed when he realized who else was in it) his Boss had promptly forced him to sit through the most boring shows in existence for a week.

Soap operas.

Gabriel still had nightmares of that. If an AI could get nightmares that is.

His counterpart stuck his tongue out at him. Still, he did at least set the foundations for the two to interact more.

Gabriel was still hesitant to be around Loki, mostly because all his alternates were complete jerks.

* * *

><p>"Oh dear lord...not that idiot," said Loki rolling his eyes.<p>

"Who?"

"The _Collector_. I bet you anything he's going to bitch to me once he realizes who I am about Sif stiffing him on the Reality gem. Right, I'm locking the bracelet up before he recognizes what it is and hope like hell I can beat him to the idiots before they realize what they have."

It was a good thing he was obscenely rich (partly due to investments and the random inventions he came up with and split the profits through Tony) otherwise his bank account might actually take a hit.

It took Loki all of ten minutes to find the self-named "Star Lord".

"Right. Who do I have to talk to about buying a certain orb everyone and their grandmother is demanding?"

"Who are you?"

"Call me Loki. Consider me an interested party who's willing to pay an _obscene_ amount of cash in exchange for the orb, if only to piss off Thanos and Asgard."

"How obscene?" he asked.

"Name your price."

"How about...four billion. For each of us involved," said Quill, not believing this guy would pay up.

"To piss off Thanos and that damn Odin? Four billion is peanuts," said Loki, "But first I have to confirm it's what I think it is."

Quill handed him the orb, and Loki twisted it in a certain pattern. It opened up to reveal a purple colored stone. Loki quickly closed it before it could touch his hand.

"Gabriel!"

"_Yes Boss?"_

"Transfer four billion to the accounts of..." said Loki, looking a Quill for names. Peter Quill rattled them off.

Gabriel crossed his eyes briefly as he worked his magic.

"_Done boss. Four billion has been transferred to their accounts...including some tree creature called Groot. Anything else?"_

"Before I forget... keep this on you. It should fool the Collector long enough to keep him from realizing you gave him a fake."

Quill obviously cottoned on to Loki's plan, because he smirked. He definitely didn't have a problem being paid _twice, _especially if the second time was for a fake.

* * *

><p>"So what now?" asked Dean.<p>

Loki carefully pried apart the ball and levitated the stone onto the bracelet. It glowed briefly before it changed color and went into the last open spot. The six Gems began to pulsate before they settled down.

"We have two choices. Either we leave and let things play out...or we stick around and insure Thanos and the rest of the universe is aware of who has all six Gems. Frankly I could care less either way."

"Stay and screw with the heads of everyone!" said Dean. Gabriel nodded enthusiastically.

"Sam?"

"When are we going to get another chance to explore an entirely new universe? Let alone ride a space ship?" said Sam eagerly, his puppy dog eyes on full blast.

Loki mock sighed.

On the other hand, that meant they might actually get to see Odin's reaction to the news Loki had all six of the Stones...and yet was more interested in a long vacation rather than trying to storm Asgard for the Gauntlet.

"Oh very well. I suppose we could stick around and screw with the heads of everyone we come across," Loki said finally. Then he stared at Gabriel. "Are you actually doing the Snoopy dance or am I hallucinating?"

"No, he's dancing the Snoopy," said Dean, trying and failing not to laugh at the sight.

"So while we wait for the Collector to realize he has a fake on his hands...poker or plotting anyone?"

"Plotting, always," said Gabriel with a little too much glee.

"Double-dog jackass poker," said Dean.

"I change my answer, let's do that one!" said Gabriel grinning.

"What about truth or dare in between hands?" suggested Sam.

"Double dog jackass poker and humiliating blackmail it is," said Loki.

"Anyone else noticed ships heading this way?" asked Dean.

"Ignore it unless you see something that requires me to actually care," said Loki, going to get some cards.


	15. Chapter 15

While Loki was hunting down his exploding snap cards (knowing Dean, Gabriel and Sam would get a kick out of the cards themselves, who insulted the people holding them if they held them too long and would blow up in the faces of people if used correctly) Dean, Sam and Gabriel were watching the action outside. Since performing the switch with Quill (without him warning his partners) there had been a minor explosion and a great deal of new arrivals.

The second the Collector saw the fake Stone, he knew someone had beat him to the prize. And he wanted to know which Asgardian had gotten to Quill's group before he did...he recognized the work.

_Inside the Collector's lair..._

The Collector looked at Quill, who clearly knew what happened to the real Stone.

"So, Mr. Quill...meet anyone interesting recently?" he asked.

Judging by the look of the green girl, she had no idea what he was talking about.

"You mean outside of someone offering way more than you were per person?" he replied.

"Quill, what the hell did you do?" demanded Gamora.

"Describe him to me."

"Red hair, green eyes...introduced himself as Loki."

"Loki... I should have known it was him," growled the Collector. Rumor had it Loki was collecting the stones...he would need this one to complete the set. Odin was guaranteed to be pissed when he found out Loki had all six.

Though it was no where near as angry as Thanos was about to be, finding out that the same Asgardian he had backed in his attack on Earth had gotten to the full set before him.

"When were you going to tell us you already sold the thing?!" demanded Rocket.

"After we sold the copy he gave me," said Quill.

If the Collector was peeved before, he was irritated beyond belief now. Did the human really think he wouldn't recognize a fake? Especially when he found out that the Asgardians gave him one not more than two years ago with the same signature?

"Well how much did you get for it?" asked Rocket.

"Four billion. For each of us."

Rocket's eyes widened and he was quick to check his bank account. Sure enough, there, sitting pretty, was four billion he hadn't had before. He even checked Groot's account. Same thing.

"How much was he willing to pay for it?" asked Rocket.

"Four billion," said the Collector irritated.

"...I take back every bad thing I said about you," said Rocket to Quill.

"Considering he just sold the last Stone required for Loki to complete the set and control the universe?" said the Collector annoyed.

"Control the universe?"

"That rock you sold him was an Infinity Stone. One grants the user immeasurable power...for example the Asgardians used their stone to create the Bifrost and the Dark Elves nearly unleashed their Stone to wipe out everything to plunge the universe into darkness. Even Thanos wants them to kill everyone! And you, you ignorant moron, just handed over the last one Loki needs to complete the Infinity Gauntlet and control the entire universe! Do you have any idea what you've done?!"

Quill would have been worried...if it wasn't for the vibe he had gotten from Loki. It wasn't like he was power hungry, but the vibe he got from the guy was definitely apathetic at best.

Without warning, the orb that held the fake started whirring.

"_For your continued health, _Collector_, do not compare me with the likes of that fool Thanos or my idiot brother,"_ said Loki, more than irritated. He had been listening in through the holoball he had placed the fake in.

"Loki. Odin will not be happy to hear you've completed the set."

"_Odin can bite me. I've had it with him and Asgard, and frankly the only reason I would go back is to pick up that hammer-happy idiot of a brother of mine. Of course if you're stupid enough to tell him I have the entire set, I will not hesitate to blast you right now."_

The Collector looked like he had eaten something sour. Loki however, looked more bored than anything...at least until he noticed something on the monitor.

"_What in blazes? Were any of you expecting company? Because a rather large Kree ship just showed up on the monitor and is launching scouts..."_

"How do you know it's Kree?" asked Gamora.

"_According to this Galatic registry, it belongs to a Kree extremist called Ronan."_

"He wouldn't," said Gamora to herself.

"He did look pretty drunk..."

While they were distracted, one of the girls the Collector hired to keep his 'collection' in good condition touched the rock that had been left floating. The resulting blast sent them all out of the area.

* * *

><p>Loki had been highly amused as he watched the by play inside the Collector's little outpost. Apparently one of Quill's comrades had called Ronan deliberately to challenge him, hence why the Kree had attacked. He was completely unaware of the fact the stone was a fake, but either way he couldn't exactly sit by and let a <em>Kree<em> get his hands on a copy. Thanos, yes, because the idiot wasn't likely to cotton on to the fact it was a fake until he used it and overpowered it.

Plus there was the added benefit of killing anyone stupid enough to deal with the Mad Titan. He might have been dumb enough to ally himself with Thanos once, but he'd grown exponentially since then.

Thanos was still pissed he had taken the Tesseract and run off with it.

When he saw the girl end up in the cold vacuum of space, Loki picked her up...and her two friends who had followed her as well. He was quick to jettison the pods they used.

"Dude...is that a raccoon walking on two feet carrying a gun?" asked Dean to his brother.

"His name is Rocket," said Sam, who was the resident 'Marvel-verse' expert since he found out his best friend was _Loki_ of all people.

"And the chick?"

"Gamora...adopted daughter of Thanos, the Mad Titan. She was forced into being his 'daughter' after he murdered her family. The guy is Peter Quill, aka 'Star Lord', though only he calls himself that. He was taken from Earth when he was a kid by a group calling themselves the Ravagers, who raised him instead of taking him to his dad like they were paid to."

"Sammy, I don't say this often enough, but I am so glad you became best friends with a pagan," said Dean with starry eyes. Seriously, how often does a guy's younger brother befriend a misplaced pagan deity who could kick ass and had a spaceship they were allowed on? Sure, he was a snarky bastard, but he was an awesome one in Dean's opinion.

"Right. We're going after Ronan because there's no way in Hel's icy embrace I'm leaving that fake in his hands. Unlike Thanos, he won't realize it's a pale imitation and might actually do some serious damage. Which means we have to pick up the other two and the ship," said Loki tiredly.

Gamora definitely had misgivings working with Loki, who Odin had been spreading nothing but bad rumors about since he realized his adopted son had taken off with the Infinity Stones.

If she was untrusting of him, it was nothing compared to how Rocket was eying him.

"You do realize that you have a 500,000 unit bounty on your head by the Asgard right?" he said.

"You do realize I could pay you double that, right? Who did you think the idiot human sold the real Stone to?" deadpanned Loki.

"Where is it?" demanded Gamora. Loki sighed, before he rolled up his sleeve exposing the arm band with six Stones.

"Much less bulky than that stupid Gauntlet, and easier to throw in a drawer to forget about later. If it weren't for the fact that this was the last one, I never would have showed up in person to retrieve it. Damn things seem to be drawn to me, likely because I'm the only creature in the universe who plans to collect and forget about them once I have all six."

"How do we know we can trust you? From what the Collector said and what I've heard from the Asgard, you're not exactly a saint," said Rocket.

Loki rolled his eyes.

"It's either trust the snarky and extremely neutral-aligned lawyer who has no use for the Stones outside of keeping them out of everyone else's hands, or give Thanos even the most _remote_ chance of getting them and wiping out half the intelligent life of the universe," he said flatly.

Quill gave him an odd look.

"You're a lawyer?"

"Guy's like a freaking shark. Piss him off and he'll bite your head off," chirped Dean.

Quill shuddered.

"Nothing in the universe is more evil than a lawyer... They screw you over and then they make you pay for the 'privilege' of it..."

Loki's grin was positively evilly. It didn't exactly inspire the 'warm and fuzzy' feelings.

"Oh good. One of you has been properly trained. So tell me, who do you think is worse... Thanos, who wants to wipe out half the intelligent universe in order to court a goddess of Death, or a lawyer who only gets involved if someone royally pisses him off and more likely than not won't even use the Stones to do it?"

"You paid us more than the Collector would have and didn't think twice. As far as I'm concerned you can keep the damn thing," said Quill flatly.

Let it never be said he didn't have his priorities straight. Sure, lawyers were evil, but this Loki guy didn't sound nearly as twisted as the Mad Titan outside of unsubstantiated rumors.

* * *

><p>"Dear lord...there's two of them..." whimpered Sam.<p>

Dean and Quill got along _way_ to well. They loved classic music (Dean loved rock and Quill had a thing for the older genre of pop), both were freaking man-whores (thought admittedly Dean had yet to date an alien chick... Sam knew it was only a matter of time if they kept hanging around Loki), and both were arrogant jackasses that always seemed to come out on top.

Sam, surprisingly enough, got along best with the talking raccoon and his Ent companion. At least once he explained to said raccoon what an "Ent" was before he got blasted. Fortunately Loki had copies of _Lord of the Rings_ for Rocket to read to Groot later. Odds were the tree-plant-thing would enjoy them.

Drax...there was no contest. He just wanted a chance to rip Ronan's head off. Considering Loki would happily do the same to anyone who managed to kill Thor or Frigga (and to a smaller extent Sam or Gabriel), bring them back and do it all over again until Hel complained, he got along surprisingly well with the man. Dean was fiercely overprotective of his brother, and if he caught the one who tried to kill Sam they would be a dead man...the same went for Sam, as the book titled "Mystery Spot" could attest.

And Gabriel... if someone pissed him off that extent he would go completely nuclear on their ass. And considering what he was, chances were a nuke would do far less damage and be less traumatizing for all involved.

It was also the reason why Loki had liked Gabriel's character so much in the first place. It was so hard to find anyone worth spending time around, let alone be able to keep up with you. Not to mention the fact they had very similar backstories.

(I/E: They were both outcasts and had to leave their own kind behind for various reasons, they loved pranks to the point it became part of their legend, they both enjoyed screwing with people until others began to fear when they got on their shit lists... and both of them had enough power to practically wipe large cities off the map, but didn't because the resulting backlash was too much of a headache.)

As Sam had once observed before...once "Loki" (who he had already figured out was Gabriel the arch angel) got over Harry's personality, powers and the fact he knew a lot more about the angel than the angel knew about him, he had no doubt the two would either become the fiercest of rivals, the closest friends or lovers...or possibly all three at once.

They _were_ Loki after all.

So long as he didn't stumble upon what Gabriel had dubbed "kinky shape-shifter time", he could care less if they became transvestites.

Sam paused, before he immediately tried to purge _that_ thought from his head. There were things he did not need to consider, and that absolutely was one of them. The sad thing was that if they ever did try that, they would be the most successful at it.

* * *

><p>Heimdall was keeping watch over the many realms. So when he caught wind Loki had completed <em>THAT<em> set, he naturally had to tell Odin. If only so he didn't hear the king bitch about it later from hearing it from someone else.

Ever since Loki left, and had subsequently been collecting the Infinity Stones without actually wanting them, Heimdall had become disillusioned with his King.

Thor would have taken over a year ago if not for the fact he was one of Loki's only _real_ supporters left in Asgard and his partner in crime, according to Odin.

The King of Asgard was currently grooming Baldur to assume the throne, but Heimdall didn't see that working out very well if it actually happened.

The people of the nine realms were not blind. Nor were they quiet.

The fact Odin was trying to put his youngest (and last) son on the throne and bypassing Thor was a big deal. Especially since everyone and their grandmother knew that the only reason Thor was being taken out of the running was for sticking up for Loki, who despite the many attempts at rumors against him hadn't actually _done_ anything since Odin's punishment and his return to Asgard.

Yes, everyone knew he was collecting the Stones (Thanos' vocal displeasure of that made it impossible to keep it quiet) but he had yet to publicly _use_ them.

Depending on what Loki did with the Stones, he would either become a villain or a hero...


	16. Chapter 16

"I am really, really not liking this plan," said Quill.

"You're only saying that because he promised Yondu a chance to beat the shit out of you on top of a million units for any of his men that survive this mess," snorted Rocket.

It was rather flattering to meet two Terrans who didn't think he was freaky, but actually rather cool for the fact he could out-shoot them and could talk, despite being a 'raccoon'.

According to Sam, the tallest one of their group, they had seen far weirder things than a talking raccoon that was a technical genius who could make bombs and guns out of almost anything. The fact he hadn't tried to kill them was the only reason they didn't look at him like pretty much everyone else.

Besides, he got along bizarrely well with Bones, Sam's golden Labrador mix.

"Why is he wasting his units paying _them_? Doesn't he already have the Stone? Why not kill Ronan?" asked Quill.

"One, I prefer not to use an outside source of power to accomplish something I could do myself. Two, using the Stones is a pain in the ass to begin with, and I tend to forget I even _have_ them when I don't need them. Three, I'm obscenely rich, and frankly paying some mercenaries to deal with a nuisance like the group of idiots Ronan has is more appealing than dealing with them myself. Four, this is a very good way for me to royally piss off my adopted father and once word spreads of my actions and the fact _I_ paid them to defend Xandar without asking for reimbursement will dispel a very large chunk of the rumors Odin's been spreading about me being evil. Take your pick," said Loki, cleaning his nails.

This was a pivotal moment for Loki. By assisting in defending Xandar from Ronin and retrieving the fake he gave Quill, he was establishing that Odin's rumors were just that, rumors. People would have a hard time equating Loki as the monster Asgard painted him as.

It would also give Thor some ammunition to overthrow his father, if he had to. Baldur was _not_ a good choice for the throne. It was likely Asgard would be in a war if he were ever put on it, or worse, some of the nobles would turn the inexperienced prince into a puppet at best.

By using the Stones for good and insuring everyone knew the real reason Loki had taken them and disappeared, it would make things less headache inducing should he ever decided to return.

Besides, he did not want it to get out that he could create _working_ copies of the Infinity Stones. If that ever got out, there would be no end to the number of idiots trying to get him to make a full set just for a quick boost of power.

"Why wouldn't you want to use the Stones? Aren't they all powerful or something?" asked Rocket.

Loki rolled his eyes.

"History in any realm is littered with stories of what happens to people who get cocky and overconfident because they got some artifact or weapon that gives them any sort of power. At some point they forget it's not _their_ power and when it's taken from them they get killed at the very least. I prefer to earn my powers, rather than rely on outside sources. Less headaches and I don't have to worry about the power source failing without warning at the worst time," said Loki flatly.

"A wise choice," said Gamora, looking at him with a little more respect.

"So! What's the plan?" asked Dean.

Loki smirked.

"Quill and his group are in charge of the copy. You and Sam, on the other hand, will have a much different task."

"And what's that?"

"Blowing up Ronan's ship and causing a major distraction of course! I'll show you how to man the guns and you'll take out the engines...at least enough that the Nova Corps will have an easier time keeping Ronan from getting to the ground anyway. I will be concentrating on the copy itself, keeping Ronan from using it, which means I won't be of much use unless called for."

"You won't be fighting?"

"It's my fault for giving you that copy in the first place. The least I am obligated to do in order to keep from being called evil is to keep Ronan from using it. Which I can't do if I'm on a moving ship or trying to shoot someone. This requires _actual_ concentration."

"And what about me?" asked Gabriel, popping a sucker in his mouth.

"Do whatever you like. Help our group, help Rocket keep the smaller ships from doing too much damage, follow Quill's group..." said Loki shrugging.

Gabriel gave Loki an odd look.

"You got any ships I can use? Flying a smaller one sounds like more fun," he asked.

"Follow me. Would you like your AI double to help copilot like R2D2?" asked Loki.

"_HEY!"_

Gabriel snorted at his double.

"At least he didn't call you C3PO," he told him.

"_R2D2 was pretty epic, but I refuse to be compared to that damn astrodroid who could only talk through his half-wit companion made by a freaking ten year old who later turned evil! I'm an AI dammit, not a lame-ass droid!"_ said Gabriel with a pout.

Dean snickered.

"Speaking of epic awesomeness of the technical kind...can I blast your stereo system on high for some battle music?" he asked hopefully.

"Oh god... Dean it's bad enough when you blast your Baby to the point where the window start to vibrate ominously, but if you even _think_ of blasting his stereo while singing..." started Sam.

"Sure," said Loki, enjoying the look of horror on Sam's face.

"Why?"

"Sam, have you ever heard of the silencing charm?" asked Loki grinning.

"Silencing...charm?"

"One little Terran spell, and you won't be able to hear Dean's pathetic attempts to sing. There's also the fact my ship _does_ have soundproofing if I want it to. The only reason Dean can hear his music while floating around in space in his suit is because the suits have speakers. Besides...can you imagine the Nova Corps and Ronan's faces if they were to hear _Back In Black_, _Thunderstruck,_ or any of the other music Dean loves to listen to?" snickered Loki.

Sam realized there was no way out of this. So he decided what the hell, why not?

"Can we at least blast _Ride of the Valkyries_ when the Ravagers and the sugar-nut start their attack?" he asked.

Loki twitched in open amusement.

"I knew there was a reason why we got along so well..." he snorted.

* * *

><p>Dean was grinning so widely that his mouth was practically splitting at the seams. Sure, having to listen to that classic music crap was pretty annoying, but Sam's idea was hilarious enough that he ignored it.<p>

Mainly because Valkyries were from _Norse_ mythology, the same pantheon as Loki.

The second the song ended, Dean's AC/DC tracks started playing...right as the smaller ships began flying out of the big one.

Loki was in another room, making sure Ronan didn't get to use the fake Stone. The other Loki was currently flying next to Rocket blasting the small ships to pieces.

Dean squeezed on the trigger. He wouldn't deny he got a major boner from blasting such a _big_ gun on such a big target. He started taking out chunks of the big ship and occasionally the smaller grouping of little ones.

Sam wasn't in the other firing bay...he was currently in the pilot's seat insuring that their ship didn't get blown out of the sky as a precaution. AI were one thing, but Loki wasn't about to fully trust his own creations...it was always a better idea to have competent back-up as a precaution.

Loki had already promised a trial run in the _Stargate_ multiverse before they got to screw with their own NASA program. The only issue being that they were still arguing which season and episode to show up in.

Dean cackled like a madman as he blasted ships out of the sky. Loki had made sure he wouldn't accidentally fire at anyone currently allied with them by having AI Castiel act as the targeting computer. If it didn't match the ship that Ronan was known for using, then Dean couldn't hit it.

"Loki, you do realize Dean's never going to shut up about blowing something to kingdom come in a freaking _spaceship_ once this is over right?" said Sam.

"_This is news how? At least we don't have to hear that off-key singing."_

Sam snorted. Dean's music was blasting alright...just in his section of the ship. Blessed silence was in every other section...just not the outside. Sam had long since tuned out the music blaring from where Dean was that through years of practice.

"_How much you want to bet he'll be hitting the hologram program in his room tonight?"_

The holodeck wasn't just in one section of the ship. There were smaller versions in all the bed rooms along with extra strong locks.

Loki was a great believer in being prepared for long voyages...and his brother's lack of anything concerning privacy and bad timing. Just because he could get laid anytime he wanted in Asgard didn't mean the same applied for everyone.

Gabriel had laughed his feathered ass off when Sam mentioned it and found out the reason. And commiserated misery. His Thor hadn't been much better...though to be fair all of his wives were quick to beat the ever living shit out of the idiot for interrupting them in the middle of the night...

Then Gabriel was quick to tell the Winchester brothers and an extremely amused Harry the tale of how his wife Sigyn had damn near castrated Thor _and_ Baldur one night when they came with bad news about some demon or other that had pissed Odin off and they needed Loki to help kill it...and that was after beating the living shit out of them in as many painful and hard to heal ways as possible while pregnant with the twins and in the middle of her hormonal mood swings.

Harry had laughed so hard he had actually fallen off the chair he was sitting on...and was literally rolling on the floor laughing when Gabriel casually mentioned that it was _after_ he had done something to royally piss off his wife, hormonal mood swings or not, when the two idiots had the bad luck of directing most of her womanly, hormonal rage on _them_.

Sam and Dean weren't much better...though unlike Harry they had managed to stay on their seats.

Their Loki was surprisingly easy to get along with...so long as you weren't the target of his pranks. They wouldn't ask him for help unless everything went truly FUBAR and Harry was unavailable though.

Sam left his musing as he noticed something happening below.

"Head's up. Either the ship is crashing or that guy is somehow overpowering the smaller ones despite Dean blowing up a good chunk of his forward engines."

Seeing most of the smaller ships that were blanketing the bigger one start to blow up, he was betting that Ronan had been able to use the fake, despite Loki shutting him down for the most part.

"_THAT DOES IT! I AM DESTROYING ALL THE MAGIC DAMN FAKES LEFT IN THIS UNIVERSE AND LEAVING THE IDIOTS TO FEND FOR THEMSELVES!_" roared Loki in annoyance and extreme irritation.

He was so dragging Thor's ass off Asgard and dumping him on Earth...after leaving Tony a rough draft of how to make space ships just to insure Thor wouldn't be stuck. Or he could show his brother how to make his own bifrost using the arc reactors...if he could ever get the design right so it wouldn't automatically drain the reactors just for a small space bridge.

Loki paused in his irritated musing.

_Come to think of it...when was the last time I had a real challenge for my technological abilities?_

He could probably trick Asgard into paying for it too... Good mood restored, Loki went up to the top deck.

"Is Dean done blowing things up?"

"_Castiel locked him out. I haven't seen him in such a good mood in a long time,"_ said Sam amused.

"Vacation to _Stargate_ after this?"

"_Hell yes!"_

"So any idea how the hell those Nova Corp ships were destroyed?"

"_Looks like Ronan managed to blast them with the fake,"_ said Sam. That flash of purple couldn't be anything else. At least not that shade anyway.

Loki twitched. He wordlessly summoned Hel, the Goddess of Death.

_**What?**_

"Ronan just killed a large chunk of the Nova Corps using a fake _I_ made. How much backlash will be caused if I revive them?" he asked flatly.

_**A good deal of it, considering you're reviving the dead. Either a large amount of death is caused later, or you do something equally drastic to minimize the shockwaves.**_

"Would destroying all the fakes of the Infinity Stones work?" asked Loki.

_**That will do it. You do realize Tony's going to be pissed.**_

"He has a copy of the wavelength, and the only ones who are going to be pissed about this more is the Asgard, who can kiss my ass," said Loki flatly.

Last time he saw Tony, the arc reactor in his chest was gone. Apparently he had finally gotten off his ass and got rid of the shrapnel in his chest.

Still Loki actually _liked_ Tony to the extent he would warn him about what was about to happen and why. At least long enough to switch to his emergency generators before he lost anything important.

"Gabriel, contact JARVIS and tell him that at best, a good amount of Tony's arc reactors are about to be destroyed from internal malfunction. Worst case scenario, all of them go. Tell them it's unavoidable and odds are the Asgard are going to have a word with Tony soon after about his experiments with the Tesseract's wavelength, considering they never messed with it after they made the bridge, and that I would like recordings of Odin's behavior when Tony hangs that fact over his head and convinces them that they need to get their magic-damned head out of their asses and actually _research _on more than how to smash things like the damn Hulk. Oh, and the look on their face when they realize the ship that is about to make a visit to Asgard and kidnap Thor is actually one that was taken from storage by me and never returned."

_Bastards should be glad I never took the blueprints while I was at it... I only made copies._

Loki sighed. This was going to be a long, irritating day. And thanks to that damn homicidal Kree, he would have to deal with the damn Novas as well as explain why the copy he had given Quill had shattered...or why he had them in the first place.

Sometimes he hated his life. Maybe if he was lucky some moron would say something so stupid he would be able to vent on them and not get in trouble for it later...


	17. Chapter 17

Gabriel was the only one allowed to go with Loki to the office as he offered to bring back everyone who was killed as a result of the blast from the copy.

Because it was caused by a copy _he_ made, he felt responsible. Loki refused to bring back those killed by the kamikaze ships though, stating that they would have died regardless.

The woman looked like she had eaten a lemon, but accepted his offer. If Loki hadn't given Quill that fake to piss off the Collector, then Ronan wouldn't have staged an all out attack. At least not so soon anyway. However had they not lost the fake to Ronan, then the Nova ships wouldn't have been destroyed and the pilots killed. Heavily damaged, yes, but not killed.

One minute they were dead...the next they were extremely confused while the doctors took them aside to insure they were brought back without any problems.

Gabriel watched how Loki easily maneuvered around the political mess caused by the attack and the fact he had helped.

Not in the name of Asgard though. Loki made that abundantly clear. The only reason _he_ helped was because it a very small part his own fault Ronan had attacked so soon.

She definitely didn't like the fact he had all six Stones, but at least through her word would spread that Loki had agreed to act as the guardian of them...if only to keep Thanos from getting his insane hands on the damn things, or any number of idiots who would use them like they had in the past.

Loki very clearly did _not_ want to keep the Stones, let alone use them. He only had them because the headache of dealing with someone like Thanos getting his hands on them was too annoying for him to live with. If it meant he had artifacts of insane power and ability, so be it.

Though she clearly didn't believe him when he told her flatly his usual method of storing them was to throw them in a drawer with a simple lock and forget they even existed.

Thieves will only take things that are valuable. If you do not perceive them as such, then odds were they wouldn't either... or if they did, then they would definitely assume you had something else up your sleeve that was infinitely more dangerous and would at least consider if it was worth stealing it and possibly getting killed.

Storing them in a vault like Odin did would only shine a spotlight on the fact they were dangerous or valuable. Storing them in a drawer with a simple lock that could be picked made it easier for people to overlook it.

Even Gabriel would admit he wouldn't have guessed Loki had such dangerous items in that drawer if he hadn't known what they were. Well, that and Loki could use their full power without the bulky and frankly tacky looking Gauntlet.

Once that mess was settled, Loki decided it was the perfect time to settle what point of the _Stargate_ timeline they would drop in at.

Visiting the Nox was a definite must, if only so Loki could get a decent read on some of their knowledge of how to fuse technology and flora together. He wasn't ashamed to admit he would like some help in that.

Well that and to find out whether or not they had arrived at the right time or not. If they had made contact with the Tau'ri, then it was roughly the right time period, if not, they were far too early.

Dean was adamant about riding around Mars in a copy of his Baby, just to screw with NASA's head for the hell of it.

He would be driving his actual car, but on the off chance there was some foreign pathogen that could be picked up, he would settle for a fake. Gabriel would be the one to drop in on NASA when they realized someone was up there listening to AC/DC and singing quite badly that could somehow breath in Mars' atmosphere.

Dean wasn't the only one giddy to see_ that_ reaction.

* * *

><p>"WHO DARES TO KIDNAP THOR?!" roared a familiar blond.<p>

He shut up rather fast when he was beaned in the forehead by a book.

"Shut up you annoying idiot. And here I thought you would enjoy a break from Odin before I dump you on Earth until Tony remakes his arc reactors enough to make a smaller bifrost."

Gabriel was laughing his ass off.

"Here I thought my Thor was an idiot! Yours is worse!" he said between laughs.

Thor blinked, took one look at the howling Gabriel, before a broad smile appeared on his face.

"I see you have finally located your favorite feathered pagan brother!"

"Feathers?" said Dean.

Sam rolled his eyes.

"Dean, use that head of yours for once and put it together. It should come fairly easy to figure out what he meant," said Sam, who had already guessed months ago after finally locating their Loki.

Dean blinked and put two and two together to get four.

"Oh you have _got_ to be kidding. He's a freaking angel?"

Gabriel snorted.

"Arch angel, dumbass."

"Why did you think I gave him that Pokéball with Castiel in it? Who better to corrupt a boyscout like one of Micheal's soldiers than his younger brother who went missing because he was sick of being pitted against his two older ones?" snorted Loki.

"Whatever. I'm still asking Harry for help before I come runnin' to you," said Dean.

"Good!" said Gabriel, pleased by that. He did not want to be dragged into whatever mess the Winchesters got into just because they finally found out he was an angel. Better for them to bug someone who actually _cared_ instead of him.

"So where are we heading brother?" asked Thor eagerly.

Loki's grin did not inspire confidence...and Thor quickly followed through on the urge to back away from his beloved younger brother...lest he be the subject of whatever humiliating idea Loki had in mind.

"Tell me...have you ever heard of the Stargate?" he asked sweetly.

Everyone _not_ Loki shivered...even Gabriel. That tone, plus the look on Loki's face right now...

Someone was going to be humiliated...and in several different ways if Loki's expression was anything to go by.

"Brother, I love you dearly and would defend you with my last breath... but no way by Valhalla am I getting in the middle of whatever scheme you have in mind. Not after last time," said Thor with more intelligence and conviction than the other three would believe.

Loki's immediate cackling after hearing that would make a normal, sane person shit themselves.

"HAHAHAHA! I LOVE BEING CHOATIC NEUTRAL!"

Loki was not evil. However that did not mean he wasn't a sadist on par with Anko Mitarashi when she had an unwilling victim and in a foul mood.

He had read Naruto. She was by far the most entertaining female he had come across in the series, and if he were looking for female companionship he would court her in a heartbeat. Seeing as how he had no clue where that multiverse was, the rest of the 'Yggdrasil' was safe from the combined forces of Loki and a very willing companion who was just as twisted as he was in a good mood.

For now.

"So...when are we dropping in on these guys?"

"Anytime near the climatic end of season one and the start of season two. Dean wants to blow up one of those pyramid ship...things...and it's close enough that we can likely blame the archaeologist on the team for getting our attention because he ended up going to an alternate Earth from the same branch of the Yggdrasil around that time," said Loki.

If they weren't well received by the natives, then Loki wanted to make damn sure they could pin the blame on someone else and get away with it. Sure, Daniel Jackson would have a bit of a rough couple of weeks after, but it wouldn't be their concern.

Gabriel snorted.

"If I recall right, they killed off his character because the actor demanded a raise...and they were forced to bring him back because the replacement sucked ass," said Gabriel. He followed the series for laughs.

"Actually that was one rumor that was confirmed true. Turned out he was a more popular character than the producers were anticipating. Frankly I can't wait to call out Sam's name and have _two_ of them turn to face me," snickered Loki.

Dean, who had been tuning them out, grinned evilly.

"Thank you for reminding me. That is going to be fun, tormenting Sam with the fact there's someone called Samantha but goes by Sam..." snickered Dean with an evil grin. God knows he called his brother a girl plenty of times...but now he had more ammo to do it with!

"_Incoming transmission from JARVIS... Tony's got some good quality pics of Odin expression when he found out the fake you left in the vault blew up and he had to deal with a human to replace it..." _said Gabriel.

"Bring them up!" said Loki with no little amount of glee.

Even Thor was snickering at the constipated look on Odin's face.

"How long until he figures out that he could contact me to demand I return to Asgard through the computer?" asked Loki.

"Father has yet to realize this fact brother. Even I wouldn't have known had I not stumbled across that program by mistake and came face to face with your friend," said Thor proudly.

Loki blinked.

"You actually _found_ it? Has mother?"

"She has learned of it from me, but she has yet to use it. She believes it best to stay out of the fight between you and father until he comes to his senses."

Frigga was of the firm opinion Odin was being ridiculous in how he was handling the fact their adopted son could literally wipe out Asgard with a thought.

Yes, Loki hated Asgard for all the crap he put up with growing up, but his love for Thor and Frigga was enough to insure he wouldn't torch the place without at least making sure they were out of it.

He was more or less apathetic towards Asgard rather than openly hated it with a passion. At the most he would help out if there was another attack that _might_ kill Thor or Frigga, but frankly he would be just as happy to ignore Asgard and it's ruler rather than generally piss off everyone Asgard was associated with it and be branded a monster that needed to be put down by their allies.

Odin evidently had yet to figure out Loki could see _exactly_ what killing his adopted father and destroying the Asgard would lead to, and wanted no part of it. He could barely tolerate super heroes and was considered a chaotic neutral party on Earth by both sides.

He wouldn't help either side...but he wouldn't hinder them either.

Either way, Loki planned to let the recent events die down before he had to make another public display of power just to shut Odin's rumors up and generally prove he had no intention of dealing with the idiots after the Stones...and to royally piss off Thanos just because he had all _six_ and refused to give them to the Mad Titan.

"Well...as long as she knows she can call any time..." said Loki sheepishly.

Even someone as insanely powered as he was could be cowed by an angry mother.

"Right. I've found the Stargate branch (not really hard with all the 'Gate' travel they do) and I have a general timeline for when we'll be arriving. First thing's first...Gabriel, get ready to record NASA's reaction to the fact there's a man on Mars who is real enough to run over the Mars Rover..." said Loki.

"You bet boss man!" said a gleeful arch angel. He had clearly adopted his digital double's mannerisms by this point.

"Dean! Prepare to cause absolute chaos, confusion and WTF moments with stuffy scientists!"

"Aye aye, captain!" said Dean with a loose salute and devious grin.

"Sam! You'll be monitoring Dean's health and then posting this video live all over that particular Earth. Be sure to have Castielle and Deanna record the feed from the internet."

In order to prevent confusion when they were talking to someone, Loki had tweaked to two AI so that they could become female. It had given Dean and Sam nightmares for a week, but at least it wasn't nearly as confusing anymore.

The AI Gabriel preferred his "Pinkie Pie" program enough that when they had to address the arch angel, he would turn into his favorite Pony.

Thor watched his brother with open amusement. Loki was a natural commander when he cared to put his mind to it. The problem being that his 'friends' and the rest of Asgard preferred to be more physical and looked down on anyone who actually used their head.

If not for the fact he would happily beat the shit out of anyone who mocked him for it, Thor had little doubt that he would have suffered similar comments because he had taken to reading more often than late.

As everyone snapped to their various tasks (even Castiel got something to do...he was to keep Gabriel in line) Thor decided to sit back and watch the show.

If not for the fact he would never hear the end of it from S.H.I.E.L.D., Tony, Jane, and most of Asgard, Thor might have considered something like this in his own branch of the Yggdrasil. It seemed most entertaining.

* * *

><p>"<strong>People the world over are baffled by the streaming live video from Mars featuring what appears to be a man driving what many have identified as a 1967 black Chevy Impala running over the Mars Rover. NASA is unable to explain how this man is able to breath on the red planet, or how the video was leaked. Other sources are claiming this is final proof there is life out there, and conspiracy theorists have been flooding the chat boards from this odd video. Others are wondering if this is an elaborate hoax...or if alien life is that big a fan of the band ACDC. The band itself has declined to comment on whether this is some form of promotional video or not."**

Dean was howling like an idiot.

Two days ago Loki had appeared on Mars...and once he found the robot left behind, he gave Dean a bubblehead charm and a pair of sunglasses armed with a spell to only _slightly_ obscure his identity. Once Dean had his copy of the Impala on the planet and got over the fact he was on _**MARS **_of all places, he went nuts.

He was blasting AC/DC songs and driving wherever he damn well felt like. He knew when he came within range of the Mars Rover because Sam spoke to him through the two-way spell Loki had put on his glasses.

Dean had cackled with insane glee as he did all the tricks he knew with his Baby...until Loki told him to run the robot over for maximum effect.

Nothing could possibly top doing donuts on Mars in his beloved car...even a copy of it...while listening to his favorite music.

He ran over that annoying robot and made sure it was still intact...all while commenting on how he hoped like hell he wouldn't have to pay for the replacement loudly enough for the mangled mike to hear it. He had parked his car closely enough for the camera and microphone to see and hear it, but not get a good enough look of his face.

Loki, once he had the feed cut off, sent Sam down with the same spells and told the six foot hunter to have fun. He had no idea if there _had_ been life on Mars at one point, and frankly he didn't care. Gabriel might, but no one had asked him yet.

The two brothers definitely enjoyed doing a few insane stunts out of video range of the robot, knowing they wouldn't be called on acting like children on a planet that hadn't seen life in several thousand years...all while the Earth loomed overhead.

The decontamination shower they were forced to undergo was entirely worth it. The best part? Both of their AI had recorded everything for them to watch later.


	18. Chapter 18

Part two of Loki's plan to have fun in the Stargate universe was simple.

Send someone to infiltrate the SGC. Partly for the hell of it, but also to establish a clear time line. A few memory spells, simple hacking, and the fact none of them had yet to encounter an AI as sophisticated as his made the task easy.

The only problem? He had to chose between one of three AI and one very bored angel.

Eventually he gave the task to Castiel. 'Babysitting' Gabriel was fine and all to keep him out of the way, but the angel was actually a good soldier and able to keep his mouth shut and a cool head if need be. A few lessons on how to aim the guns the SGC was fond of using and a little tweaking by Gabriel so he could be a little more physical enough to _use_ them, and he was ready.

His job was to act as their source inside the base. He was sufficiently reliable enough to pull it off and not blab...or drive everyone insane like Dean and Gabriel would. Plus Castiel had actually expressed _boredom_ when Loki finally had a chance to talk to him.

Once Castiel was outfitted, the cover story made and hidden so well it would take someone who knew what to look for to find it, and a few memories modified so no one suspected anything was wrong...Loki set him loose. He was showing actual trust with the angel by giving him this task. If he could pull it off until they arrived, he would release Castiel from his cage and Gabriel would make him his own body like he had manufactured his own form.

Something Micheal frowned upon greatly, but Castiel at this point had learned his superior clearly needed to stop and rethink his current course of action before he could talk.

From what Loki told Castiel of the events in heaven and how things were so grossly manipulated that they needed a reality check, he was just glad he wasn't going to be thrown in the deep end without some warning.

* * *

><p>"I really, really hate you right now. I hope you realize that," said Gabriel in an absolute serious voice. Dean sniggered.<p>

"It's your own fault for not making sure the control deck was locked...or at the very least lock the control programs for the deck."

"What did Dean do?" asked Thor.

"He set the Giant Chicken loose on Gabriel," said Sam.

"The...what?" said Thor.

"It's easier to show you," said Gabriel...before he kicked Thor in the ass into the holodeck and loaded the program. The giant chicken from _Family Guy_ that always picked a fight with the show's main character took one look at the only person in the room and started kicking Thor's ass. Since he didn't have his hammer with him, and he knew Loki would beat the shit out of him if it came crashing into the deck, he had to fight with his bare hands.

Loki came in once he felt Thor enter the holodeck. He knew his brother couldn't operate the controls, and the second his mind registered what was going on he began laughing. Rather evilly at that.

"Oh dear magic...who thought of this and how long has he been in there?" asked Loki.

"Gabriel kicked him in there, and it was my idea that started it," said Dean proudly.

"Please tell me someone is recording that idiot going head-to-head with the giant chicken," said Loki gleefully.

Pinkie Pie, aka Gabriel the AI, bounced into the room with an evil grin.

"_Of course we're recording it! We're always recording, except in showers and bedrooms!" _the AI informed him.

"Thank god..." muttered Dean.

"Unlike my brother...or Tony...I at least know the concept of 'privacy'. Which is why none of my AI will stalk you in the bathroom or hang around once you start to display certain visual queues that you need some alone time," deadpanned Harry.

"What do you mean, 'visual queues'?!" said Dean.

"Be around someone long enough, and you start to subconsciously pick up on certain queues. These three are designed to monitor, record and analyze their owners to pick up on that trait. For example... Castielle, what signals is Dean giving off right now?"

Castielle looked at her owner.

"_Increased heart rate, his eyes as shifting more to the right than normal, he is perspiring more, his hands are clenching in a certain pattern... He is currently in a state of shock, horror and disbelief,"_ reported Castielle.

Sam snorted.

"_Sam, however, is showing five of seven signs of amusement towards his brother's predicament and realization that we are always recording except in designated areas,"_ continued Castielle.

"And Gabriel?"

Castielle's expression became flat.

"_Gabriel is just fucking nuts. End of story."_

That set off both Winchesters and Loki, while the arch angel pouted.

"You guys are mean."

"No, we're realistic," said Harry without a hint of remorse. Sam laughed harder.

Thor came in looking more than a little frayed...and highly irritated.

"I hate chickens..."

That set all four of them off. If Loki had known it would be that entertaining to throw his brother into situations like this, he would have done it years ago.

* * *

><p>"Dude...is that a <em>pyramid<em>?"

"Dean, did you not watch the series like Sam did when I mentioned coming here for vacation?" sighed Harry.

"I skimmed."

"The Gou'ald, which are one of the main bad guys, believe themselves to be gods. So much so that they've taken the name of the older pantheons."

"Including yours?"

"Nah, though there is a race called the Asgard in this universe. It's why he chose this place to pick up some new tech," said Sam.

"Their beaming technology is better than what I've been working with, and unlike the Asgard of home they actually _work_ towards improving what they have. Likely because they've been stuck dealing with cloning technology that needs a revamp to stave off mortality," said Harry.

The second he found out about the Asgard race of Stargate, he had to meet them. If only to swap technology and ideas.

Plus there was the comic value of meeting Thor with his brother nearby. That was worth taking a picture of.

Thor, a muscle-headed goofball with a hammer obsession...and Thor, High Commander of the Asgard race and part of the rumors about little gray men on Earth.

There was no way in hell Loki was _not_ going to take a picture of them together, if only for the hilarity of having those two together.

"So...basically I'm allowed to use the cannons?" asked Dean hopefully.

"Once I go in and rob the place, yes. You really think I would pass up a chance to rob the bad guys to piss them off with later?"

Loki the thief. Odin should have spread rumors about _that_ little quirk, because it would have actually been true.

Thor perked up at the word 'rob'. Truth be told, the excitement of sneaking around and taking things was more fun than he would have thought.

"Yes brother, you can help me steal everything that isn't nailed down," said Loki chuckling. "And before I forget, pay particular attention to oddly formed crystals."

"Crystals?"

"Apparently energy manipulation has evolved to the point where they can store it in crystals and program them like they would microchips. I want to grab some to see if I can't make my own and reduce the risk an EMP blast will take out most of my toys," said Loki.

"Very well brother!" said Thor grinning.

"Now...who wants me to confuse the hell out of the bad guys by playing _my_ playlist," asked Loki.

Every hand went up.

"So what are you gonna play? Mozart? Bach? Beethoven?" asked Sam.

"Try Linkin Park," said Loki, grinning at Sam's disbelief.

"...Seriously?"

"I like classical music, but every once in a while I listen to the more modern bands. What, did you think that extensive collection of music and movies was for show?"

Sam looked at his best friend in disbelief. Sure, he knew Harry had the _largest_ private library he ever had access too, but he didn't honestly thing he was listening to the music collection.

Dean snickered.

"Loki the pack rat..."

"Be careful...I know how to lock out your section of the music and video library..." said Loki ominously.

"You wouldn't," said Dean.

"Don't tempt me Dean. You of all people should know I'm one vindictive son of a bitch," said Loki evilly.

"Ain't that the truth," said Gabriel. He had _seen_ the alternate Loki from that section of the Marvel universe...they were almost always assholes of the highest caliber.

"Ain't is _not_ a word."

Sam couldn't help it... he started laughing.

"Harry the grammar Nazi strikes again."

"_Oh man, remember how pissed those gamers got whenever he corrected them while I was blowing them away? I learned twelve rather creative uses of swearing whenever he did that!"_ said Gabriel.

"Well if they're going to yell at someone for trying to make sure _everyone_ can understand them when they're angry...some of those idiots make me seriously doubt they've even passed middle school, let alone _graduated_ high school," said Harry with a snort.

"_The ships have stopped,"_ said Deanna.

"Can I trust you to keep them from blowing up the ship?" asked Loki.

"I'll keep them occupied," said Sam.

"I was actually talking to Castielle and Deanna," said Loki with a straight face.

"Just get going!" said Sam, punching him lightly in the arm.

* * *

><p>Loki had an evil grin on his face as he broke into one of the pyramid-shaped ships. Thor was robbing the other one, as Loki knew his brother could easily smash his way out with his hammer and fly straight to his ship to safety. Thor could hold his breath for that long at least.<p>

Loki had just left the main control room and had stolen a good chunk of the crystals. Thanks to his shapeshifting ability, none of the Jaffa even knew he was an intruder. Pinkie had already highjacked all the controls before Loki even left the room.

Nothing made you stop and stare more than coming face-to-face with a bright bubblegum pink pony with three balloons on her flank that kept popping in and out of the air.

Something his rather amusing AI took full advantage of. One little move and the Jaffa were sent floating up to the ceiling before they crashed down hard enough to get knocked out.

Thank you anti-gravity system.

So it was with some surprise that Loki nearly ran into a group of humans wearing military gear...and one lone Jaffa in similar garb.

Of course...with his luck he would pick the _one_ ship that SG-1 accidentally gated onto.

At least he was able to record their reactions for later blackmail. Otherwise they were likely to deny the dropped jaws and disbelieving looks when he casually warned them of the two Jaffa patrols he just passed, as well as the fact that Bra'tac was currently on the ship undercover.

And then, just to really screw with their heads, Loki shifted back to his current disguise long enough to wink at them before he vanished completely.

He had a very hard time not laughing his ass off at the looks on their faces. Especially the look on Jack's face. This was almost as hilarious as the WTF expressions on the NASA scientists when he had Gabriel go down to record their reaction to Dean doing donuts on Mars while listening to his music.

And later the bewildered expressions when they realized that the rover was still recording and that yes, the evidence of someone driving an actual car were there too.

Loki was outright _grinning_ when he found the humans and their Jaffa friend in a cell. While he had the advantage of Pinkie controlling the ship, diverting attention by creating panic, and of course the ability to change his form, he was more than slightly amused that they had gotten caught because they had done something stupid. Hearing the older Jaffa chew them out almost made him laugh.

"Pinkie...how good is your control over the ship?"

"_I can appear wherever you want Boss,"_ replied the AI.

"Show up in that cell and give them all a good scare," said Loki grinning.

"_Okie-doki Loki!"_

Without warning, his random AI appeared in the middle of the cell. Bra'tac would have shot it...mostly because he had gone into the control room to find out what was going on and Pinkie had almost gotten him.

"_Wow, you guys are really jumpy! Does somepony need a cupcake?"_ asked Pinkie, cupcake appearing in her hoof.

"Where did that thing get the cupcake?" said Jack, stumped.

"_I'm not a _thing_! I'm a Pony!"_ said Pinkie annoyed.

"This...creature...was inside the control room."

"_Well yeah. You really think Boss would let a ship leave the area while he's robbing the place?"_

Loki took that as his queue, and appeared behind the older Jaffa.

"Ironic isn't it? The scavengers being robbed by an outside party," said Loki. Bra'tac almost jumped.

"Who are you?"

"Call me Loki. Pinkie, how long until the idiot they tried to kidnap wakes up?"

"_Exactly two hours, eleven minutes and forty-five seconds Boss. Thor's already stolen pretty much anything of value from the other ship."_

The others had a collective blink.

"Any issues returning to the ship?"

"_None Boss. Though the others have been diverting the feeds so they don't notice us. Their tech is really, really outdated,"_ reported Pinkie. She had a pair of glasses on her nose and what appeared to be a notepad and quill.

"What do you expect? In any case, I'm almost done stripping this place blind."

"Could someone clear this up for me?" asked Jack.

Loki rolled his eyes.

"I am someone who owns a ship and happen to be a bit of a thief. Once I'm done here I'm going to have my friends blow these ships up so that the idiots running them won't be able to come after me to demand I return their stolen property."

"And why are you stealing from them to begin with?" asked Jack slowly.

"Mostly so I have a baseline for what the level of technology is around here. I haven't actually experimented with crystals before now, so I would prefer to have something to work with first," said Loki patiently.

"Uh-huh. How long have you been around?" asked Jack.

"At least a week."

Which was partially true. They had showed in this alternate universe a month ago. Loki had waited until he felt the dimensional waves from Daniel's trip through the mirror before he had Dean drive on Mars.

They had spent the weeks prior trying to find the Nox.

Which, despite having someone like Loki on board and the series to help guide the way, was actually pretty damn hard without a proper point of reference.

Something he was really, really hoping Castiel would be able to get for him.

Loki snorted.

"I'll wait until you lot are at least off the ship before we blow the things up."

They had no idea what to say to that, not that Loki gave them a chance. He took Pinkie's mainframe and vanished.


	19. Chapter 19

Loki was _bored_. A dangerous state for everyone around him. Fortunately there was a nice source of entertainment down on Earth for him to play with.

Sam and the others almost felt sorry for the SGC... Loki was switching with Castiel for a bit until his boredom went away.

Apparently messing with the crystals and trying to find out how they worked wasn't helping. According to Loki, the entire formula was so simplified it wasn't worth noting.

Even Thor, the muscle headed goofball that he was, had been able to figure them out and tweak them once he knew what to look for.

Besides...Loki still needed to steal their star chart, or at least a copy, in order to get to some of the worlds the team had visited. He was particularly interested in Heliopolis.

Castiel took one look at Loki, and then at his disguise.

"You're replacing me then?"

"You've behaved rather well once you realized what's really at stake, and Gabriel has agreed to give you a proper vessel while I get what I need."

Castiel perked up.

"Relax. We're not getting rid of you. Having someone who still has a moral compass is something we definitely need."

Castiel snorted, a definite sign he had been around humans (or Gabriel and Loki) too much.

"Considering you've actually corrupted your brother and turned him into a rather effective thief, I should say so. About the only other person with a 'moral compass' as you call it is Sam, and he's more likely to act as your enabler," said the angel flatly.

Loki might not be as big an asshole as his alternates, but what he did was surprisingly more effective than all the scheming they put in.

Instead of being evil and trying to kill Thor, he corrupted him and wrecked his 'moral compass' as he flippantly called it through apathy and odd combinations of common sense.

"Besides...with what I know is about to happen, you're probably better off hiding with Gabriel until I straighten this mess out."

"What?"

"They're about to encounter the Tok'ra, if I remember the series right, and that means they might find out you're not human by accident. Considering you're still occupying a holoball, the last thing you need is to be busted that way."

"He will be giving me a body to work with right? It's hard to disguise the fact I'm not human when things keep phasing through my hands."

It had been a real pain in the ass hiding the fact he didn't eat or drink.

"Well your days of suffering are _almost_ over," said Loki with a grin.

Castiel hung his head. At least Loki was reasonable, which was more than he could say about his fellow angels.

* * *

><p>"Mr. Novak, you're up next," said Doctor Frasier. Loki humored her and went through the x-ray machine.<p>

Ever since Major Carter came back with a Tok'ra, the entire base was being scanned from head to toe.

"Next!"

In a fit of boredom...and more or less to scare the hell out of the humans, he went to visit Major Carter.

"How are you holding up, Major?" he asked, using Castiel's dry toneless speech.

"I'm fine."

"And Jolinar?" he asked, secretly enjoying the way Sam replied, before she blinked and realized what he had just said.

"How do you know her name?" she asked, clearly alarmed.

"The same way I know for a fact she's merely an off-shoot of the Gou'ald race that had the sense whatever gods they worship gave a mule not to use the sarcophagus devices. The only reason I even came here is because I know the SGC will eventually come into contact the Asgard soon, and it's a pain in the arse trying to find the stupid planets without a map to work with. We damn near had a run in with the Replicators trying to locate the Nox planet before we gave up," said Loki flatly.

Jolinar asked for permission, and Sam was startled enough to hear Cas talk like this that she gave it.

"_Who or what are you?"_

This was going to be fun. Right as SG-1 came in, complete with Hammond and armed to the teeth, Loki dropped the illusion.

"Me? I'm merely someone who was drawn to this area of the multiverse because a certain human had the bad luck of falling into a mirror. Well that and you have no idea how irritating being bored out of your mind can be," he said amused.

"Oh god...it's that guy with that weird pink horse thing that robbed the ship before he nearly blew us up with it!" said Jack.

"_HEY! I'm a PONY not a horse!"_ said an irate Pinkie.

"And before you try shooting the pink annoyance, it's a hologram and you'd be wasting your time."

"Where's Novak?" demanded Hammond.

"Getting a proper body instead of the fake one I threw together last minute...and dealing with his nuisance of an older brother," said Loki easily. Seeing their expressions, his grin widened, "When it comes to infiltration I'm very thorough and it helps that your technology is several decades behind the Earth of my section of the Yggdrasil. Besides, I mostly came here to meet a version of the Asgard that actually _have _a brain."

Jack was the first to speak.

"You're not here to rob us like you did Apophis are you?"

Hammond looked at Jack incredulous, before he turned back to the intruder.

"What part of 'you're decades behind the earth I came from' do you not get? Though to be honest I was expecting more from the crystals that those idiots use. Even my moron of a brother was able to figure out how to use them."

"Who exactly are you?"

"Call me Harry. Coincidentally, when are you going to let her out? The Tok'ra are the ones trying to stop the Gou'ald, not help them. Though they're more like scientists than scavengers," said Loki.

Jolinar, in Sam's body, blinked.

"Does anyone else have a headache, or is it just me?" quipped Jack.

"It's not you," said Daniel.

* * *

><p>"Let me get this straight. You're a pagan god from an alternate universe. You came here because Daniel got you attention when he went though the Quantum Mirror. And you just happened to be in the area when Apophis and Klorel came to attack us. So why did you send in one of your men to infiltrate us?" said Hammond, trying to see if he got this right.<p>

"What part of I'm new to this side of the universe do you not get? You have a workable star map and the location of the Nox planet, which I don't. Besides... it's easier to rob people no one actually _like_," said Loki shrugging.

"...Just out of curiosity are you behind that viral video of that guy driving donuts on Mars?" asked Jack.

Loki's grin said volumes. Jack grinned openly.

"That was hilarious and the look on Kinsley's face when he heard about it and tried to use it against us..."

"Well I promised Dean he could drive his beloved car on Mars and later the moon, and I figured this was a good test run. Of course the looks on the idiots at NASA when they realized the video was coming from an un-hacked Mars Rover was hysterical."

"...Can I get a copy of that?" asked Jack hopefully.

"Of course."

"_Boss is like the ultimate troll. He pisses people off without even trying," _said Pinkie.

"I have to ask...what's with the horse?" asked Daniel.

Pinkie growled.

"It's a Pony. I'm afraid Pinkie gets irritated being likened to a common horse. And I didn't come up with that form."

"_Boss lets me pick whatever form I want so long as he doesn't get arrested and I leave him alone about it," _chirped Pinkie.

"What is it then?" asked Daniel.

"_I'm an AI, created by a friend of the Boss. Though he's started making his own to kill time,"_ said Pinkie, bouncing around the room.

"Originally it was male and humanoid...then the idiot got hooked on a show meant for children and now he's chosen to stay like that," said Loki more than a little annoyed.

"Look we're getting off topic. Why are you here?"

"I was bored and I knew you'd make contact with the Asgard of this section of the multiverse. I'm actually quite eager to meet a version of them that aren't complete idiots who rest on their laurels."

"And what about Major Carter?" asked General Hammond.

"I can contact the Tok'ra for you, seeing as how I have the ability to do so. I just need her help sending it."

"How can Carter help?"

"I'm talking about Jolinar. Since I'm unfamiliar with the star maps of this sector, she would need to give me the direction to aim it in...or a memory of where her people are so I can go directly to them and explain the situation."

Jack, Teal'c and Daniel watched as 'Harry' read Jolinar's memories. He grimaced.

"I really hate growing dependent on these stupid things...they're more trouble than they're worth."

"What are?"

"Right, do you mind if I borrow one of these...code devices...so you won't shut them out?" he asked Hammond.

"If it means getting Major Carter snake free," he agreed. "We will lock out that code if you don't return in five hours though."

"Shouldn't take me more than one, though at least you have more caution than most," said Harry approvingly. He looked at the pink creature beside him. "Pinkie, I need the Tesseract for a moment."

"_Okie Dokie Loki!"_ she said with a smile. Out of nowhere a bracelet appeared, which he slipped on his right arm. He had a lock on one of the Tok'ra Jolinar was in contact the most, and he teleported straight to them. Pinkie looked around and said _"Poker anyone?"_

* * *

><p>Loki's appearance in the Tok'ra base nearly had him hit with those annoying za'at guns. As he had no desire to be hit with them, let alone three one of them, he made them appear in his hands through a simple summoning charm.<p>

"_Who are you?"_ demanded the lead Tok'ra.

"I'm the one who can tell you where to find Jolinar before the assassin the Gou'ald sent to kill her gets to her first. And before you spend too much time debating, you have five hours before the easiest way to get there locks me out," he told them flatly.

"_And why should we believe you?"_

Loki repeated something Jolinar had told him when he mentioned going to the Tok'ra directly rather than sending a message.

He was sent to a room while they discussed what to do. While he waited, he quickly grew bored enough to start tinkering with the crystals he stole from Klorel's ship.

"_Where is Jolinar?" _asked one of the Tok'ra.

"Currently stuck in a Tau'ri woman by the name Samantha Carter. Odds are they're throwing ideas back and forth for hours now. She had to jump into her in order to avoid being captured by the assassin, though Major Carter notified her team about what happened immediately after returning home. They're extremely paranoid, and for good reason," said Loki flatly.

"_And how are you doing that?"_

"Please, I played with this level of crystal technology back when I was still learning how to manipulate my biological energies around to shoot fireballs. This is actually fairly easy to do, once you know what type of crystal you're dealing with."

The only reason he had bothered taking them at all was because he hadn't recognized the mixture used. Once he figured that out, the rest was easy.

The Tok'ra came back, and Loki lead them to the Stargate. Once the wormhole opened, he used the code he had borrowed from the humans and stepped through.

And not a minute too soon...they were about to lock him out.

However his attention was on something else. He couldn't help his snickering at the control room.

"Okay, who was stupid enough to fall for Pinkie's suggestion of poker?" he asked. Without fail, a few people looked at Jack, Teal'c and several off-duty airmen.

They had all been hit with spiked cupcakes, and were now sporting random hair and skin colors. Jack was bubblegum pink with purple polka dots, Teal'c was now a bright orange color, and there were several different shades of purple in the control room.

"Never ever challenge Pinkie Pie or Gabriel to a game of double-dog jackass poker. Or eat the cupcakes offered during," said Loki wisely.

Daniel was clearly trying very, very hard not to laugh at them, and was more or less succeeding. Sam, not so much. He had the feeling there were going to be quite a few black mail pictures of this later.


End file.
